[ziIReIGS]

so i was watching nascar today and i got lost in thought about just how silly the whole thing is. i mean, it is like some guys said, "ok, we are going to drive as fast as we can in circles, and whoever is first, and doesn't die, then you get a pat on the back until the next race". well, ok, there does happen to be several thousands of dollars involved, but that is beside the point. after further thought i started to realize just how much technical difficulty is involved with just driving around in circles, at say, hundreds of miles an hour. it takes some serious discipline and skill to stay focused and finish the race. so i went all the way from thinking how silly it all is to thinking how these guys are actually like ninjas of machinery.

well, i guess the larger point of all this is that i have started to have problems lately. i have maintained a somewhat arrogant view of just how silly all of this is. none of it makes much sense, you know? but i come full circle to appreciating the people who have somehow made this thing work. it takes some serious fire in the belly to accomplish anything here. so i have become very humbled by this planet that we live on, and the people that live on it.

but, you have to ask yourself, what kind of a world is it when fantastic, amazing people such as gandhi, martin luther king, and jesus are assassinated?

the confusion that has gripped me lately is bordering on unbearable. if this earth is a school, and the harder the knocks then the bigger the lesson, then wow, i have learned so much already. but then i see my mom and how much she worries about me and my well being. i simply cannot follow through with this hard knock thing anymore.

anyway, i guess i am reaching out to the old souls that frequent this forum. any advice at all would be appreciated. i don't want to give up and i guess i need a little support.

love to all,
foo

[doogiehoussi]

oh i feel the same way. take friday night for an example. me and my girlfriend were watching a show called manswers. *shivers* for those who dont know its a show for men by men with women dressed i next to nothing and them answering questions about man things.

i got instantly irratated at this show. i understand some like it and theres people out there that are at the distortion of wanting that information but it bothered me. i looked at my girl and said," am i a guy? am i really a man? this stuff plays no interest in anyhting i want to know nor care about."

i get this way with sports, nascar (is it a sport?) general tv shows. i dont watch much tv in the first place only at my girlfriends, she has her few fav shows like fringe and all those interesting ones, but i find my self mainly watching history chanel or something about science or space.

i have dealt with this for a long time, with irritation and a lost feeling with everything around me, the hard knocks will just keep coming, take them with stride and learn from each one. learning/teaching, is the greatest gift anyone can give.

[casefexas]

wow foo,

thats quite a post and i'm not sure i'm the one to give out advice, but i'll give 'er the ole' college try...

i really appreciated what you wrote here: i have maintained a somewhat arrogant view of just how silly all of this is. none of it makes much sense, you know? but i come full circle to appreciating the people who have somehow made this thing work. it takes some serious fire in the belly to accomplish anything here. so i have become very humbled by this planet that we live on, and the people that live on it. the appreciation part is so important, much more than any of us realize. humility's always a good lesson too.

but, then you have written this: but, you have to ask yourself, what kind of a world is it when fantastic, amazing people such as gandhi, martin luther king, and jesus are assassinated?

the confusion that has gripped me lately is bordering on unbearable. if this earth is a school, and the harder the knocks then the bigger the lesson, then wow, i have learned so much already. i would remind you of the saying, "this density is not for understanding." you'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand it all (and it seems you have been). i wouldn't dare try to give the answer to that question, as it is paradoxical in nature.

if i may, could you be a bit more specific on this: but then i see my mom and how much she worries about me and my well being. i simply cannot follow through with this hard knock thing anymore. that may be where you could get the best advice...

hang in there! for each up, there's a down and vice-versa. troubling times today are to be followed by better times tomorrow, etc., etc.

art

[Vzkdgdqx]

the deeper you go, the harder you become... the less understood you are by those you care for. even the bravest of us rarely has the courage for what he really knows... wisdom sets bounds even to knowledge.

good luck on your journey, foosnik.

one 66

[LarryG1978]

hey foo

i feel the fiery drive to radiate positive energy is ample motivation to follow through and is also reflected in our aura. i suspect that, like for some of us, your mom has been able to sense your dedication and your consequent vulnerability to negative greetings or at least "harder" lessons ahead. it is not easy to "gel" with the circumstances of cause and effect. what i would suggest is to monitor your input and output closely, know yourself better, work on identifying your current limits and build the courage to raise your energy rays levels accordingly step by step.

i find easing through the transitions, especially from your mom's perspective, may help alleviate some of the stress involved. jmho............sylvain........

[ziIReIGS]

oh i feel the same way. take friday night for an example. me and my girlfriend were watching a show called manswers. *shivers* for those who dont know its a show for men by men with women dressed i next to nothing and them answering questions about man things.

i got instantly irratated at this show. i understand some like it and theres people out there that are at the distortion of wanting that information but it bothered me. i looked at my girl and said," am i a guy? am i really a man? this stuff plays no interest in anyhting i want to know nor care about."

i get this way with sports, nascar (is it a sport?) general tv shows. i dont watch much tv in the first place only at my girlfriends, she has her few fav shows like fringe and all those interesting ones, but i find my self mainly watching history chanel or something about science or space.

i have dealt with this for a long time, with irritation and a lost feeling with everything around me, the hard knocks will just keep coming, take them with stride and learn from each one. learning/teaching, is the greatest gift anyone can give.

i have never heard of that show but it sounds mind numbing. stuff like that doesn't appeal to me either. and beyond that, i think it serves to debase our people.

but on the other hand, i think humor is one of the absolutely most important tools to lighten up our world. and like dw said, more people trust john stewart than they do their main stream news source. i think that show is so unbelievably brilliant sometimes it actually makes me shed a tear. and along with colbert, is leading my hope that this country is resisting this debilitating environment that "they" have created for us. and i realize that i must somehow take some responsibility with the current situation our country is in. because we are all in this together, right?

so i want to thank you for your kind words. not that anyone has to have the perfect answer. i guess sometimes i need to know that i am not in this alone. because sometimes i really feel that way.

wow foo,

thats quite a post and i'm not sure i'm the one to give out advice, but i'll give 'er the ole' college try...

i really appreciated what you wrote here:

the appreciation part is so important, much more than any of us realize. humility's always a good lesson too.

but, then you have written this:

i would remind you of the saying, "this density is not for understanding." you'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand it all (and it seems you have been). i wouldn't dare try to give the answer to that question, as it is paradoxical in nature.

if i may, could you be a bit more specific on this:

that may be where you could get the best advice...

hang in there! for each up, there's a down and vice-versa. troubling times today are to be followed by better times tomorrow, etc., etc.

art

thank you! and actually art, you were one of the ones that i really wanted to see a response from. like i said above, it is not about getting the perfect answer it is more, for me, feeling a part of the group and knowing that i am not alone. and you have such a steady calming way about you. as for me, i am quite the excitable guy and i think stability is definitely not my strong point. but i guess my greatest challenge will become my greatest strength, right? i do feel like i have occasional bouts of brilliance but the problem is that i have not had the confidence in myself to feel like i can maintain a steady stream on a level that i know to be possible for me to attain. i can blame this on a number of things like a dysfunctional childhood or a sick society. but the little bit of wisdom that i am consciously aware of is that blaming other reasons does not solve anything. i have arrived at a point in my life where i need solutions and not more reasons to hold myself back.

just by writing this i have cleared some things up now. and you know what they say, that each individual person already knows the answers but sometimes they need a little help drawing it out of them.

anyway, to elaborate on more specific examples of my issues, the symptoms are as follows:

-can't seem to steadily hold down a job out of a lack of endurance to continually do the mundane.
-i will admit that i have had my struggle with alcohol. my family was practically drenched in it and i do think i understand what it means to be genetically predisposed to it. i have such an intense nature that it has been a real big challenge to learn how to control it.
-and because i am very aware of the selfishness of all of this then i think about my mom and how she feels about it all. when we suffer our loved ones suffer too. she had an enormous plate of challenges presented to her and she has made her mistakes. but all her mistakes were made with love and trying to do the right thing. and she has learned from them and has finally gotten to a good place in her life. now she deserves to feel comfortable and not worry about her son's well being.

and now for the light at the end of the tunnel: i know that if i can win this thing, which means to master myself, then i will be a darn jedi knight after all of this.

have you ever had struggles such as these? and if so then how did you overcome them?

thanks in advance,
foo

[rionetrozasa]

but, you have to ask yourself, what kind of a world is it when fantastic, amazing people such as gandhi, martin luther king, and jesus are assassinated?

it is the kind of world that has duality. just as the expression of service to others may be realized by giving great gifts, the expression of service to self can be expressed by taking those gifts away.

it is easy to pull a trigger. energy exchange complete.

continue spiraling ever upwards,
austin

[ziIReIGS]

the deeper you go, the harder you become... the less understood you are by those you care for. even the bravest of us rarely has the courage for what he really knows... wisdom sets bounds even to knowledge.

good luck on your journey, foosnik.

one 66

wow, thank you! and thanks for your blessing. it is true. the more we feel alienated.

hey foo

i feel the fiery drive to radiate positive energy is ample motivation to follow through and is also reflected in our aura. i suspect that, like for some of us, your mom has been able to sense your dedication and your consequent vulnerability to negative greetings or at least "harder" lessons ahead. it is not easy to "gel" with the circumstances of cause and effect. what i would suggest is to monitor your input and output closely, know yourself better, work on identifying your current limits and build the courage to raise your energy rays levels accordingly step by step.

i find easing through the transitions, especially from your mom's perspective, may help alleviate some of the stress involved. jmho............sylvain........

i really hope what you say is true. the last thing i want her to think of me is that i am lazy or selfish. because this is the main lesson that my father taught to us, in his own way i guess, by being such a selfish black hole. i really hope so. because i am learning and growing so much, it is just that my bank account doesn't reflect this. and this whole thing about all of us being on an eternal tread mill, that if we stop walking on it, then we will lose our houses. and to be painfully honest, it is because of my arrogance that i know i am being a slave to this ridiculous system that i cannot bring myself to participate in it. but then again, where has this silent, torturous protest gotten me?

you want to know a paradox, art, try the fact that i have all this knowledge and understanding of the universe and sometimes it feels like it has become twice as hard. when it should, logically, make it easier. this is why, i think, they say that the veil is placed over us when we are born. because if you remember the amazing place that you came from you would not follow through with your physical life that you have planned.

but then, to expand on that, to have this knowledge and master it's application, the potential is limitless. it truly can be heaven on earth.

i know i am preaching to the choir here on this forum, i am only working this all out in my own head. any reflections that you all would like to offer would again be appreciated.

great advice here from everyone. it has definitely lifted my spirits. thank you!

[BigMovies]

with regard to your feelings about the mundaneness of work, when you look inside your heart do you find a passion calling you? or when you let go, stop thinking about work and listen to your intuition, what is it telling you?

my experience is that the sense of futility and being stuck, as you describe, is building up to a point of 'i can't take this any more' and for me that was breaking free and starting up my own business, if you could call it that. financially times have been tough for 5 years, but oh my goodness it has been worth it, and the journey has been such a positive one.

at the end of the day i had to let go of financial security and trust that it would all work out, and shockingly it has. i'm reminded of a comment about being locked in scarcity thinking - as long as you hold onto the fear of having a lack, that is what will manifest.

good luck with working through this difficult time
lorna

[ziIReIGS]

i think it is important for me, and for any human being, to grasp what art has said here:

i would remind you of the saying, "this density is not for understanding." you'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand it all (and it seems you have been). i wouldn't dare try to give the answer to that question, as it is paradoxical in nature.


art

and i think i have solid proof that this statement is correct. what this statement is implying is that human life was created to have limitations. we were meant to have an individual point of view. human life was created for the precise purpose of creating limitation. so this is my proof:

1) tell a person to count from now until infinity and he would continue counting until he parishes. this alone is enough to say that there simply is a limit to how much a human can expand his consciousness. but then people turn around and say that there are no limits to what a human can achieve. it is simply our ego that obstructs us. like the statement: "not knowing it was impossible one went and did it". so which one is it? maddening!

2) one of the many places that i have worked had a bathroom that was surrounded in mirrors. so i could see the reflection that rebounded into what should be infinity. except that eventually the image became gray and descended into obscurity. i counted about 30 layers and then it became too fuzzy to see any clear image. so this again shows that a human does not have the faculties to grasp infinity. and shows that we were never intended to.

so what does a wise man make of these intellectual headaches? to just be. like the buddha, once you realize that there is no sense in trying to reach the end, you simply let it all flow through you. you start to see that things are not linear at all, but circular. so trying to reach the end of a circle would be the definition of insanity. so just relax, be in the moment, and let the circle of life go through you. this is the wisdom of it all i think. and it has taken much mental anguish to arrive at this.

so i intended this to be about people listing all the many ridiculous paradoxes that exist in the duality that we call human life. which has people chasing their tails in circles. and i thought this would bring a smile to our faces.

love to all,
foo

[ziIReIGS]

with regard to your feelings about the mundaneness of work, when you look inside your heart do you find a passion calling you? or when you let go, stop thinking about work and listen to your intuition, what is it telling you?

my experience is that the sense of futility and being stuck, as you describe, is building up to a point of 'i can't take this any more' and for me that was breaking free and starting up my own business, if you could call it that. financially times have been tough for 5 years, but oh my goodness it has been worth it, and the journey has been such a positive one.

at the end of the day i had to let go of financial security and trust that it would all work out, and shockingly it has. i'm reminded of a comment about being locked in scarcity thinking - as long as you hold onto the fear of having a lack, that is what will manifest.

good luck with working through this difficult time
lorna

the soul searching that i have done is huge. that is the one thing i can say that i have really accomplished. i will tell you what, the most memorable and happy times of my life, in which i got goose bumps, involved music. just the tone of me pushing the key of a piano is beautiful to me.

i think what you have said about scarcity is right on the money. i feel that this is true. but it is easier said then done. especially when you got bills to pay and mouths to feed.

thank you.

[Creva4k]

the deeper you go, the harder you become... the less understood you are by those you care for. even the bravest of us rarely has the courage for what he really knows... wisdom sets bounds even to knowledge.

good luck on your journey, foosnik.

one 66

after much more thought, this is the reply that has hit me the hardest. after an experience i just had. in which i was trying to explain to my good, old friend what i have been going through. it became obvious that i just couldn't seem to connect with her. anyway, there wasn't much time so there is still hope that i can somehow make her understand. but it all just makes me feel like i am freaking insane! damn...tired of this.

[ziIReIGS]

yarr!!! grrrr!!!! arghhhh!!!!! #$%*&^@(!!!!! i feel like the yo samity sam
guy in the most beloved cartoons that i grew up watching. but at the same time i see the futility in being someone like this.

i wish there was an emote to express pure exhaustion.

[Enladalusange]

the limit is the sky.

i don't think there are any limits, because limits would destroy the wonder that us humans are availed to ponder and argue about. the wonder of life.

i think we need to create our own limits, because how else would we accomplish something? with our hearts' desire to make something the best and most perfect, we must set a limit on our creations.

[ziIReIGS]

foo,

oh man, sing it! i know that tune... having let go of corporate life over 5 years ago, and struggling to answer the question, ok, now what? i spent 4 years awakening, searching, learning, and just enjoying. i too struggled with the notion of having to make a living, and pay the bills.

i started my own company because i always wanted to, and thought that would be my way forward. but, i really didn't know what i wanted to do with it, so it was an avenue to discover and play with that, but did not lead to any real business, and definetly no income. i am not sure what is holding me back, possibly my believing it is possible and desireable to do this, regardless of what the mba tells me about running a business.

so, when i was at my lowest, a contract opportunity showed up, and now there 'is enough' to pay the bills, and get back on my feet, and allow me the opportunity to hone the skills and strengths i believe i want to use in a business, and also a realization that i don't necessarily have to have my own company to do the things i enjoy.. i can find those opportunities anywhere, and that is basically to help folks address the why are we here, what do we do, and how do we do it for something that inspires and motivates us. and, by the way, 'prove' that it is possible to make a living doing that.

enjoy, and trust, if i can offer anything of value...

break free... i am hot on this trail. i shall do. the corporate world is something i have had so much fear of. but really, restaurant work, which is what i have been involved with, is the same thing.

to prove it is where i am not hitting the mark. to prove it is what i want so much for myself. i have talked so much to my family but it has all amounted to a bunch of hot air. what is most important is the final product and then you can explain how you got there.

i hope that i can achieve this.

[YTmWSOA5]

i have enjoyed reading the posts on this thread. such wise words and love flow freely among us; its enough to warm any troubled heart. :d

ultimately the only boundaries that exist are those we put on ourselves. there is a huge step between knowing we need a change and actually going through with it. having made some drastic changes in my life (similar to bill leaving the corporate world), i can only say it takes alot of courage and strength to break through. courage in this case is not lack of fear, but triumph over it. on the other hand, there are other changes i wish to make in my own life that i still have not been able to. one day i guess...

during these times of cleansing and transformation i've found it to be very emotional and challenging. whether it be karmic cleansing, or reaction to new energies, there is a sense that things are out of my control, or at the very least, unexpected. and thats ok. i've come to believe that yes, i do have the ability to co-create, but also, i need to surrender my desire to control, and be open. these troubles are blessings in disguise.

that may sound crazy, but growth isn't always going to be easy, or without struggle. and, perhaps the fact that i am experiencing "growing pains", may be a good thing, a sign that i am growing.

keeping an eye on the goal is pretty difficult when going through rough waters. i've been led to "live in the now", etc. i guess the hardest issue i have to deal with is "loosing" my sense of clarity - that i had it all figured out and each day was great. i used to post frequently and felt that i was becoming that beacon of light. then, due to whatever, it was gone. having been without that feeling has been difficult to endure, but it is coming back. maybe that means another layer of the onion is peeling away; each up has its down, etc.

thank you for reading this if you've made it this far. i think this has helped me more than anything; helped me to vent, air out my thoughts, etc.

take care,

art