[HoniSoniproca]

hello,

my name is eaglesong (tess) and i am a musician from the stunning outer banks of north carolina.

my spiritual journey began in the mid 70's with the great richard bach. jonathan livingston seagull and illusions merged with my christian upbringing and gave me an insatiable hunger for knowledge and truth.

soon after i was forced to personalize my relationship with god when i realized i was lesbian. my church and my family (and some of my friends) no longer shared my truth. i was forced to find my own path.

i read volumes of words too many to mention. og mandino, shirley mclaine, von daniken, sitchin, gary zukov, chopra, sylvia browne, marianne williamson, doreen virtue etc. i read the bible cover to cover, the apocrypha and the dead sea scrolls. i visited the tao te ching, bhagavad-gita, qur'an, rumi and the tibeten book of the dead.

like many others, i have an unnatural fascination with egypt. this brought me to the writings of thoth and his many other names. i wanted to read keys of enoch, but refuse to pay a ridiculous price for knowledge.

the internet changed my life. to be the recipient of others years and years of research has altered many. to watch the few scatter from the shadows in the light of the truth has changed the world. it's an amazing time to be here.

i have always felt an affinity to edgar cayce, partially because of our shared love of my birthplace, va. beach. what inspired me most about him was not his amazing psychic abilities, but his dedication to offering his truths as abundantly and freely as possible. so at the risk of offending those who may or may not be affiliated with a.r.e. at this site, i must offer my opinion. on my first and last visit there (late 90's) i was very saddened to see others capitalizing on work that cayce literally died for, to offer to the world. selling truth for profit and only to those who can afford it, is a very old game.

so bear with me, as my feelings about a.r.e. somewhat relate to david wilcock and my arrival here at divine cosmos.

i stumbled upon 2012 enigma on youtube one day. i clicked on a segment somewhere in the middle of the series and was immediately rapt! wow! someone with a positive message of hope, faith and charity! it wasn't until i sat attentively through the entire series that i realized... hey, this is that reincarnation guy, the one that claims to be my beloved cayce!

so, whether it was synchronized or happenstance. my ears and heart were opened without bias. i went on to watch all of the project camelot offerings of david and listen to the coast to coast and other radio/internet radio interviews. i was enchanted with his humble downplaying of the cayce connection and his very cayce-like determination to focus on mind/body/spirit. further, his message to remain positive before and during the viable cataclysmic possibilities of 2012 resonates deeply in my soul.

i have an interesting david/ra channeling experience to share:

i have been experiencing "the dark night of the soul" since around 2001. what began with eliminating fear and untruth is now focused on forgiveness. forgiveness of myself and others, which is by far the hardest part of the process for me.

but please, understand, i was just listening to david's stuff for info, to kind of catch up or be educated on his theories. so when i exhausted all of the youtube and internet interviews i could find i checked out divine cosmos. around the third day i noticed a new link to listen to david doing a reading. about half way through the reading some images began to appear in my mind. they were images of all of the people i had yet to forgive. flashing effortlessly! i could see these people at the moments in my life when they were kind. i could feel love beaming from me, from them. i could understand the love i was denying myself, not them. i thought about all of the passages i'd read about "god's love" and truly understood that you can't experience it until you forgive in the exact way that he/she forgives you.

god is forgiveness and forgiveness is god. simple, earth shatteringly simple as all truths really are.

anyway, i'd love to hear from fellow "seekers" *as i call myself. thank you for allowing me to share. thank you for this site, and of course for the divine messengers that dwell around and within.

[AndyColemants]

wow, i loved your words. everything you said could be applied to me (except for gender preference and the vision you had with d's channeling). i have found forgiveness to be at the top of the list of "things to do" . i don't think there can be much progress without that happening first.

as i read in my favorite spiritual book, forgiveness is not acknowledging a wrong action and saying it's ok, it's realizing that there is nothing to forgive. that's a difficult concept to assimilate, i've been working on it for years. as with most realizations, it changes every day as i evolve.

the way i deal with it now is that if i feel a resentment towards someone, i change my perspective and try to see things from their point of view. that's just a first step. as i learn to forgive myself, i extend that to the others. it's really not easy, as opposed to the simplicity of the concept. i have tried to move away from those who are challenges, but as long as there is an emotional charge when i think of that person, i know my process with them is not finished.

i've realized that those i am still angry with have nothing to do with my anger. they were just doing what was best for them, it was me who decided they were to blame for my pain. not playing the blame game sounds easy to do, but is certainly not, at least for me. i can do it easily with daily minor contacts, but those lingering emotionally charged situations are the worst.

i'm thinking that as i learn to let go of blame in everyday situations, those past situations get healed. there is no amount of will power that's going to work, it's a daily mental emotional workout, which comes about from being truly motivated to move forward, whatever it takes.

anyway, i'll stop now, gone on for long enough. david has attracted a lovely set of people. this forum is a precious opportunity to share and make connections.

[HoniSoniproca]

hi larissa,

thank you so much for your kind words and warm greeting. it is wonderful to connect with others spiritually. like alice, the deeper you find yourself in the rabbit hole, the more interesting and colorful your encounters seem.

i have heard that isolation is a part of rebirth. while reading that somewhere might offer comfort, it pales in comparison to actually having a kind soul reach out and say... hey, i'm here too.

it's actually mind boggling to meet up with others who were picking up the same books and reading the same material. it's kind of like painting your house 10,000 colors and then finding someone else who did the same.

100 monkeys i guess, or just maybe something even more profound.

i was struck by your candor regarding forgiveness. it has only been a few days since i experienced that kind of baptism during the ra reading. i've found i have to play that little slideshow that i saw in my head each and every time negative (what did you call it a little blast of emotion?) energy knocks. it's definitely a "process" and there are certainly still days that i think... err, why did i throw myself into this fire?

keep sharing the flame
eaglesong

[HoniSoniproca]

hey to one and alley, (pun possibly intended)

great to hear from others reaching the light beyond the great dismal swamp of forgiveness. *s

i stumbled upon a little treasure of a movie this morning and thought i would share. it's called "all that heaven allows" set in the 50's with rock hudson and jane wyman. the social commentary is extraordinary if you consider the era of the film. beyond the social subtext there is a very spiritual/enlightened theme. if you're a thoreau fan (like i am) you'll adore the message. the director, douglas sirk, is masterful with imagery. he uses several sun and prison symbols during catalyst moments. a tv set is one of the final prison image sequences, amazing. note too that rock is very shadowy and dark in the beginning and as jane becomes "enlightened" he becomes brighter.

for us irony fans, there is also a scene where jane asks rock how he "taught" his friend to "find joy in his life". rock states that you can't teach anyone to discover themselves, they have to do it alone and then "become a man and act on it". jane replies, so you want me to be a man? :d rock pauses just long enough to shift his eyes a few times, hilarious.

" if a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer" thoreau

eaglesong

[AlissBart]

hi eaglesong, and welcome to dc

early on my pathway to the present, i became aware of the vital importance of forgiveness. research in the material channeled from ra and q'uo made it clear to me that forgiveness was crucial to eliminating karmic debt.

intelligently, it was clear that forgiveness was essential for my own progress and i had tried thinking about forgiving some pretty serious hurts but, emotionally and spiritually, there was still a lot of baggage to let go of at the heart chakra level. at some point while meditating, i saw colorful helium balloons rising up past me and floating off into the clear blue sky. each one was a hurt leaving me forever. one by one, as i watched them float away i felt such release and lightness, having let all that baggage go.

it was an 'aha!' moment that i still recall whenever i need to remind myself that we have pre-selected our lifetime challenges and that those who may have hurt us in some way have been providing just the catalyst needed for the lessons we have chosen to learn.

love and light,
nancy

[HoniSoniproca]

hi spiral,

thank you for the greeting. it's so cool that you're from oz, i plan to visit there one day before i die.

i love the helium balloon metaphor. it really illustrates the self forgiveness that has to follow the forgiving of others. in reality that seems to be the hardest part for me. thank you for your insight.

eaglesong

[bestformaldress23]

my spiritual journey began in the mid 70's with the great richard bach. jonathan livingston seagull and illusions merged with my christian upbringing and gave me an insatiable hunger for knowledge and truth.

soon after i was forced to personalize my relationship with god when i realized i was lesbian. my church and my family (and some of my friends) no longer shared my truth. i was forced to find my own path.

i read volumes of words too many to mention. og mandino, shirley mclaine, von daniken, sitchin, gary zukov, chopra, sylvia browne, marianne williamson, doreen virtue etc. i read the bible cover to cover, the apocrypha and the dead sea scrolls. i visited the tao te ching, bhagavad-gita, qur'an, rumi and the tibeten book of the dead. welcome to dc my sister on the journey. my life parallels yours but began in the 1950's with yogananda's "autobiography of a yogi" followed by a coming out experience in the '60's. and then the volumes and volumes of reading, therapy sesions, seminars and retreats.

yes, truly, the most powerful thing to do now is to achieve forgiveness for any and all. i have found that it is best achieved by opening to the emotions of the historical moment, whatever and whenever it occurred, sitting with the pain or anger, or whatever emotion is attached to it, until it is burned out and only grace remains. the effect this has on your 'light' is truly liberating and life enhancing.

we have been told about achieveing forgiveness for centuries (ok, maybe longer...) in all kinds of ways. the message got lost in all the jiberish.

here's matthew 5:23-24
if it should happen therefore that while you are presenting your offering upon the alter and right there you remember that your brother has any grievance against you
leave your offering there upon the alter and first go and make peace with your brother and then come back and present your offering. yes, smack in the middle of the sermon on the mount story we were told this!

so, go girl. to forgiveness and beyond!!! (ooops! that's a paraphrase from another famous movie.)

yours in grace and gratitude,
hs

[Bymnbypeten]

eaglesong,

a good post.

this part in your post really struck a cord with me...

[about half way through the reading some images began to appear in my mind. they were images of all of the people i had yet to forgive. flashing effortlessly! i could see these people at the moments in my life when they were kind. i could feel love beaming from me, from them. i could understand the love i was denying myself, not them. i thought about all of the passages i'd read about "god's love" and truly understood that you can't experience it until you forgive in the exact way that he/she forgives you.
god is forgiveness and forgiveness is god. simple, earth shatteringly simple as all truths really are.] - eaglesong

i agree with you 100%, truth is simple... like all things. it is when we start thinking it is something other than what it truly is that we start to create confussion/choas/insanity.

understanding is forgiving and when we deny our self love, we deny our self truth.

one 66 (knowing, truth, wisdom, love)

[gundorana]

hello,

i could see these people at the moments in my life when they were kind. i could feel love beaming from me, from them. i could understand the love i was denying myself, not them. i.

i also had a recent realization that i was focusing more on the "bad" things people ie parents, friend etc had "done to me" my whole life and completely left out all the wonderful loving things!! how silly. now i can forgive because i see situations in their entire context not just half the picture and i can put myself in their shoes. i agree with you about forgiveness!! so important to me!!