[MgpojuWy]

hello

in sweden we say "direktkontakt" to discern f.i mailing from talking "in person"....

i experience a constant stream of synchronicities since the early 80:s, have read everything i could come across, i'm doing astrology, i've been to mediums, i'm attending a basic course in mediumship, i'm on this forum....

....but i have not had the direct, personal contact with a spirit or light...is that because i'm not open enough? because of my depressive tendencies, my remaining animosity towards pple who don't respect my interest in these topics?

yesterday a famous actor described in swedish radio something that happened to him when he was studying philosophy in the 70:ies..he said he's not religious, doesn't believe in god, when we're dead, we're dead etc and all the same he had this extraordinary experience one night from feeling as he was lifted up in the air, having problems with breathign, seeing a tingling light in the window, rushing out in space ending up in a big lightexplosion without a sound, "waking up" finding himself lying on the floor thinking "there must be lightning and thunder outside", looking out the window it was a cold winternight, absolute still with an almost full moon.

for 1 month after that he felt totally at peace, seeing everything in a holisitc perspective, loving everybody...
..and still he's not a "believer" in anything...

... stellan skarsgård, another famous swede in hollywood now acting in david browns "angels and demons" doesn' t believe in anything either, he acts though in a movie that deal with paranormal activity....just read the article the day before the radioprogram...a synchronicity per se...

...i know i know i know...we all have different paths..
....but i am so frustrated from having lost my mundane caréer...i fear i will never have the opportunity to tell my truth again...i feel so trapped and guilty for not having enough faith...and that's a "sin" per se....because if you don't have the faith, have feelings of jealousy and inferiority you will never be successful...stange thing i was successful before i had the esoteric knowledge i now have....and so..

...i'm stuck with the idea that for me personally, i will be denied wordly fulfillment if i'm pursuing the path of enlightenment or whatever we call it here...and at the same thime i know this stems from my childhood and my two jealous mothers and weak father that i choose myself before i reincarnated and so on...

i feel like the snake that bites it's own tail (and not in the positive sense) and so i think that if i would have this "directcontact" i would feel liberated..i'm not talking about escaping from the difficulties, i've had enough from that in this life.........and now i feel i have to cut pple out of my life...they either oppose my beliefs or just take no interest or have big personal codependencyproblems and want me to check therir horoscopes without cost...i feel i have to run and hide...don't know where to go......

...what's the meaning of this feeling of separatedness? yes i know, it will propel me into further searching and digging into my own darkness....i feel as i'm never graduating from school....

is it possible to pray for this contact? or does it only come with spiritual development? (for me)...of course you don't know.....i'm calling out to the collective mind via this forum....and i'm trying hard not to excuse myself for complaining...hope it can be a catalyst for others that feel the same....

...nobody knows the trouble i've seen
nobody knows but............

liliane the transit

[Freeptube]

for me personally, "contact" from my god mind is very subtle, coming in the form of small nudges and subtle messages. there's no booming voice in my head, but the more i actively set my ego mind aside and ask for my god mind to move through me, the more i am inspired and energized.

as far as "success" goes, what does it truly mean to be successful? all of the houses, cars, boats and other shiny toys are simply posessions. all that stuff is nice, but the insatiable desire for more "stuff" is simply an ego craving that will never be satisfied. to me, success depends on the level of joy and love a person feels and shares with the world.

i was bored with my career as a freelance web designer. however, before going that route, i did remote energy clearings and helped a lot of people. i left that behind for various reasons, but continued to work on myself, my wife, family and occassionally close friends. in a recent focus, my deeper self reminded me: "share your gifts."

so i am. a new website is underway where i am giving away as much free information on self-clearing using the techniques i learned / developed over the past 10 years. when it is ready, and if forum rules allow it, i will put the url in my signature line. hopefully what i share will help you in some way to feel the awareness of your higher self, which is of course, always there with you.

best,
cameron

[MgpojuWy]

hi cameron!

thanks for responding...the thing is that i often have "numinous experiences" feeling a strong contact, esp when i'm in the arms of mother nature..as far as "succcess" goes, i'm not talking about earning a lot of money and having a lot of things...

....i want to use my artistery as a singer/songwriter to spread the message we're trying to grasp here on this forum, and also lead the [specific workshops] i used to before i had a hughe psychic breakdown that put me off track for many years, and now it's extremely difficult for me to catch up again. you know, i've been nagging about this in many threads now so i hope this will be the last time.

also there is a strong "racism of age" in sweden esp for women, even if you're not in showbiz it's difficult to get a job if you're over 50...

it really ends up with "nobody knows the trouble i've seen", i know i will never be able to make myself understood totally, and all the same i pursue....

i have been doing and still do a lot of idealistic work and if it was not for the social welfaresysem in sweden, i'd might be living in the streets beeging you guys for money...

good luck to you and your project, life surely is paradoxical, i feel great at the moment, met some of the friends i felt i have to escape from...we had a beautiful moment in my allotment, birds singing, flowers everywhere, raspberries and strawberries ripe to pluck..

...as soon as my mind start brooding i've started to think or say "so"-breath in, "ham"-breath out....

goodnight and thanks for the indirect contact..

liliane

[zlopikanikanza]

hi liliane, ive noticed some of your other posts and i can sense your frustration. i usually dont respond to many requests for help thinking that i cant help much. and beleive me, i aint perfect. but i figured id say this, i was wanting a "contact" for a short bit until i realized, that i have already and always made that contact. the hardest part is choosing when to listen. i am my higher self, my higher self resides in me. i can talk to my higher self like i talk to me. if your waiting for this contact then dont you think that sounds like your putting it off for the future?

myabe your higher self is purposely not making this contact a defined moment. what do you really, really want to do, this is probably what your higher self wants.

dont give up! -tj

[MgpojuWy]

hi estopatitiana

you're spot on, to be thankful for the moment, take it as an experience however difficult....as an extremely plutonic scorpio i have choosen the path of "the deeper secret" with the tendency to go through the extremes in my exploration of life...i've had the thought for a long time it would be interesting to see the horoscopes of pple here and in what way you pursue your spiritual path according to the chart...

through death to life liliane

[griddle]

until you stop looking outside for fulfillment the depression will cling to you.

i have gone through this process so many times for myself.. over and over.. i look outside for "contact" and the sea of my life becomes a turbulent storm. the waves of my ego rise to new heights and then crash to new lows.. again and again the waves rise and fall as i seek and seek and seek desperately, overturning every rock looking for god, doing every "thing" to contact him, attempting to control myself so that i will be perfect, trying to "advance" spiritually as if such a statement has any meaning... becoming a "spiritual seeker"

the sea will calm when you *truly* surrender your delusions and offer them up to god. when you allow yourself to hit rock bottom.

don't be a seeker, be a finder.

god is already closer than breathing, he is nearer than hands and feet. the ground you walk on is holy (so remove your shoes).

ra defines the word "control" as "repression of that self which is perfect."

the positive path is the path of surrender and faith, not control. give up control, hand your life over to god.

ra gives us 3 steps: "acceptance of self, forgiveness of self, and the direction of the will. this is the path to the disciplined personality."

step 1. acceptance in your case means to accept your suffering (your current sense of separation) and move into it fully. give up all affirmations and allow your pain to be. accept the fact that your career-life is a failure and your social life is abysmal and that the world about you is hostile, etc. feel the pain of these truths and let yourself cry if crying is the honest response.

step 2. forgiveness is to love yourself while you suffer.

step 3. direct your will to unite with god's will. direct your will to being perfect as he is perfect in heaven. you have been trying to control your life and so by definition you have been repressing that self which is perfect. stop. reverse this. be perfect now. trust in the omnipotence, the omnipresence, the omniscience of god. there is nothing that you must do besides directing the will towards unity with the one infinite creator.

being perfect is a simple realization, it is such a simple thing that it is hard to fathom. it is like an easy quiz question that everyone gets wrong because the answer is too obvious and simple to possibly be the correct answer.

all delusion is self-made by a personal act of will. some part of you is willing your sense of separation into existence. some part of you is willing yourself to believe that you are currently imperfect. find that part, relax that will, redirect the will towards simple, beautiful, divine unity and the truth.

much love and best wishes
- yossarian