[Arexytece]

experiencing something quite odd right now, i just started reading carla reuckert's book "a wanderer's handbook", and i am getting feelings of dread, unrest, maybe even depression, just generally bad emotions are coming out of me even though there isnt any reason for it to be happening.

it has a christian feel to it, maybe thats whats causing it, but i dont really know.

anyone else ever get this? i took the test in the book about being a wanderer and i scored a high of 86 and a low of 69 depending on how i approached the test.

is it possible that there is some deeper aspect of me that just doesn't want to go there? all of a sudden i am getting enormous doubts about everything i have ever believed in up to this point, those beliefs being in the area of ufo's and other densities and everything else in that area.

am i experiencing negative greeting? because it makes me feel like giving up, forgetting it all, and joining consensus reality and try to live a normal life.

[AndyColemants]

as if you could give up, join consensus reality, and live a normal life. once here, we can't go back, but who wants to? i started reading the book and was all gung ho and enjoying it, then lost interest along the way, and haven't finished it. but i don't think i ever felt anything negative. whatever you're feeling is triggered by the book, the book is not the cause, it's brought up something in you that might need to be looked at. that's just the way it is with everything, nothing out there causes our feelings, it's our perception, interpretation, triggered emotional wounds, whatever, that gives us the opportunity to explore yet another aspect of what's going on.

i've heard it a lot lately, it's darkest before the dawn, the negative situation is a blessing and is making way for another step towards the light, in other words, don't despair, don't give up, it will clear up soon. i like david's story about the frog in one of his recent radio interviews. there's this frog that wants to leap to a gold leaf or something, but when it tries it just sinks into the mountain of doo doo it's sitting on. it doesn't realize it has to deal with this pile before it can make that leap.

too bad, but sadly it's true about facing the shadow etc. it's not about going from one glorious experience to another, it aint gonna happen. and it's not so bad when you know "this too shall pass." and facing these nasty bits of me that keep popping up is not the end of the world. i just keep going and know that with each revelation, i'm a step closer on the journey. it's a wonderful journey - keep on truckin' !!

[Arexytece]

sorry if this came off really negative. was just trying to express my feelings at the time. )

[Sttim]

jblour - carla is a christian and so her writing is coloured by her perceptions and experiences. perhaps if you react strongly to christianity then her writings aren't for you at this particular time? i'm sure there are other sources of information about the wanderer idea that people could point you in the direction of. personally i found the wh helpful, but more in helping me to work through my own thoughts, and at times offering a different viewpoint from my own.

larissa - i love reading your posts, so full of wisdom

[enteltcheft]

what you are describing sounds like what i call the "stepping off point." you know when you're a kid, and you want to go diving that first time, and you're really excited about it, but when you actually get to the edge of the pool and look down suddenly you're not so sure.

that, i think is what you are dealing with: the point in time after you have jumped from the safe ledge of consensus and before you learn that the water of individual seeking will, indeed, be more than enough to support your weight.

[L8fGLM4d]

i can agree somewhat with your impressions of that book. for me, the only reason i finished reading it was because of a lack of other reading material. her views are highly influenced by a particular synthesis of christianity which in some ways is inconsistent with her message which may be related to why the writing itself is hard to enjoy. my experience when seeking has been that at many times information will present itself in a way which, because of some nuance in the way it's presented, triggers a questioning of many of its suppositions which are frequently the same suppositions supported in material with which one can agree. this can trigger a sort of "crisis" if you're not already in some semblance of balance; in a way, i had this feeling when first reading david's loo study guide. but after reading the loo material itself, i realized that the feeling of crisis was solely attributable to my own reaction to the particular way the material was presented in relation to my own mental configurations at that time. i get a similar feel from many of proj camelot's more "deep black"' type interviews; it takes a second or sometimes third listen for me to determine which information triggered the response and why it did so. usually it's something trivial like fulford's sniffling (guessing a cold or allergies) which triggered the mental image of a schizo-phreak and in turn made me dismiss him and his information. after re-listening and re-analyzing my own response i have been able to reach a more complete ... understanding, i guess you could say.

enjoy this wall of text with no paragraphs.. i know i did :d

-charles

[Abarricoss]

hi jblouir

i am currently reading the law of one series and i am 3/4 ways through book 2
after finishing the first book i felt depressed and negative i am not sure if this is a reaction to the concepts in the book as they make me feel as though my body and personality are about as important as used toilet paper in regards to the big picture.

it is stated in the 1st book that if any thing discussed in the readings doesn't sit well with you that you should disregard it and not to take it on board which can be a little difficult, carla had a bible placed behind her head during all readings used like a tuning fork for the communication frequency or channel to be clear.

the ra entity said that there would be distortion due to the fact that they are trying to explain things that are way above our level of consciousness and they are not aloud to breach the law of free will, which means that they can not do any thing that will mess with our illusion of the reality or the perspective we have created or allowed our selves to be born into.

from what i can make out the wanderers on earth now were on the negative path and have come back to work on there heart chakra's as the negative path can only get them so far, so in order for a wanderer to progress they must learn to love others including them selves.

maybe these negative emotions we are experiencing are reminding us to focus on love so we don't repeat past mistakes or lessons.
thats my 10 cents worth take it or leave it your choice

l&l