[allvideO]

we have all heard that to "follow your bliss" or "follow your heart" is the secret to life. but what do you do when your heart is leading you away from your obligations and responsibilities?
.....
hi foosnik, how u b ? : )

for me, personally, lessening my 3d monetary obligations and responsibilities so that i now have minimal entanglement with commerce, as we know it in the western world, has been key!

it seems that forgoing the concept of material ownership to the best of our ability opens the heart to bliss in the now...for me anywho! : )

and if someone in front of me seems to be grating on my heartfelt nowness i simply start repeating to myself,
"i am sorry, forgive me, thank you, i love you!"
boy oh boy...that can flip the whole situation...for what usually bothers me of others now becomes solution and a smile within!

[carreraboyracer]

"so what happens when life gets in the way of becoming alive?"

i find it amazing that there's so much synchronicity revolving around this topic right now. you're asking the same questions that more than one of us is trying to figure out at the moment. the shortest answer is: don't let it.
there was a time (when i was much younger) when i was overwhelmed with more than i could deal with. the only way to function and survive at the time was not to deal with it. i was to a point where i could turn off all my feelings and emotions like a light switch. it took a very special person many months of effort to get me to open my heart again. since that time i've come full circle i think. now i face life with an open heart, and at times it hurts. a lot. but if you listened to the most recent free reading, you might take away the same thing i did: if you are experiencing pain, then there's something your higher self feels you need to deal with. it's not always easy to figure out, but you have to do it for yourself. i'm going through that again at the moment, and frankly i feel like i have a lot of things to learn and can't figure out which one it is this time. be open with those around you. you never know when they'll say the thing that you weren't thinking of to give you that "aha!" moment.

i guess i'm rambling a bit, so hopefully that's enough for now. does this help at all?

[Vezazvqw]

sinc is right.....last night i spent a lot of my time talking to people about this, and i told them about a dream i had that triggered the end of my door-mat days...

there was me, and two others that were also me, and people were being rude and disrespectful to the three me's every where we went. stealing from us, lying to us, and not appreciating our love etc.....we all three kept just denying it was happening and letting it slide.....but then, near the end of my dream, two of the "me's" turned around and they were my two real life little sisters....well, then i went and got mad and stood up for my little sisters and confronted all the people who hurt them, and would no longer tollerate them being around my little sisters etc, because i love them so much that i protect them like a total "mama bear".......well, when i woke up, the message was loud and clear to me.

i can not allow things to happen to me that i would not allow to happen to those i love, because to truly love others i have to love me too....i realized that whenever i let people hurt me, it also hurt everyone who loves me, and i definatly do not want to do that....so i removed a whole lot of people from my life, and things just went up-hill from there.

i still try to help these people from a distance, but will never let them be a real part of my life again, never in a way that they could hurt me.

also, as for "family obligations"...family or not we all need to be self responsible, sooooo if, and it is a big if, we are allways doing things for them that they should be learning to do for themselves, than that is also indirectly unloving because they should not be dependant on us or anyone else for that matter, they need to be free from codependanies to have true freedom and self respect, so besides taking care of your own business and not being a burden on others, they should not make you feel obligated in any ways.....this could even be a service to self, having others dependant on you. it is healthiest for us all to be only dependant on ourselves and our higher selves.....that is true freedom. so sometimes by not helping,(if it is something they could do for themselves) and being a catalist for them to learn to help themselves, you are actually doing them a favour and showing them a higher respect.

[Hokimjers]

cobra:

yes, what you said helps me a lot. and i think we share a similar experience: the complete turning off of feelings and emotions. but what i learned from that experience is that the being numb is far worse than actually feeling the pain and moving through it. because the numbness brought about loneliness and such a savage depression that it threatened my future. so the pain of dealing with the original pain was a welcomed change to that horrible numbness.

and i also wanted to acknowledge another point you made. openness and honesty with those around you is the key to finding peace and happiness. or then again, is there such a thing as "tmi" (too much information)? i don't really think so. if another person is going to think less of you for being absolutely honest about what is in your heart and soul then i don't think that person is good to be around.

dab:

i think you are right. after much confusion and heartache, i now have a clean slate to start over again. and i soooooo don't want to repeat the same scenario again. and i think what you said about remaining as free from material and monetary obligations as possible is the smart way to go. and also i need to stop judging my worth by my material possessions. or, at least, stop letting it bother me when other people do judge me by my possessions.

as they say, "when one door shuts, another one opens." i just want to do it right this time.

kstar:

i have a really hard time hearing you call yourself a coward. to care deeply about other people's feelings says a lot about your character. and also, if your family truly cares about you then they are going to want you to be happy. and they will support you on your journey.

but i do know what it is like to be a people pleaser. i have very much been like that too. and i have not been very good at standing up for myself in the past. my friend told me once, several years back, that i needed to grow a backbone. i think the lack of a backbone stems from our feelings of self worth. like we are not worthy of the same respect that we so easily offer other people on a regular basis. or we don't trust or have faith in ourselves to let our light shine.

unfortunately, i don't have a magic answer for this. i have made huge improvements in this area just by taking small steps and being totally honest about the way i feel (well, most of the time). and it is working for me, slowly but surely.

mellisamouse:

i think that is totally right. that it is not good to allow other people to be dependent on you. and sometimes loving someone means cutting the cord, even though it hurts.

these are the types of decisions that are so hard for me.

thank you everyone.

love and light,
foo

[Gedominew]

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so what happens when life gets in the way of becoming alive? 


i like the saying work gets in the way of life. most dont like what they do (work wise). life is all there is ... love/light. life should not get in the way of anything. as it is stated in the ra material, our purpose is the evolution of the mind/body/spirit complex. i know, for me anyway, there are times when i still get aggravated, but i realize that i am experiancing what i need to, and everything that i do experiance is of my own doing. there are lessons that need to be learned or reinforced. life is always great, even when i go through hard and trying times. = )

[unsamiSlini]

i think what david wilcock said about free will is the key to some basic understanding, there's no "good" or "bad" choices or even "better" choices there are only choices and whatever you choose will lead to challenges and opportunities for you to grow.

we're not trying to be as "godly" as possible, as we are already god. our goals are not to become like gandhi because he was a 'good' man but to be the best person you can be.

each choice you make in your day when it relates to others is what this is all about, did you help that old lady cross the road or just hurry on by? gandhi wasn't there to help her but you were, even if it made you late for something important, that is your purpose, to choose to help or not.

here's the example i like the most. paul gauguin, he was basically a jerk, he left his wife and kids and social responsibilities and ran away to be utterly selfish, never giving an inch to 'be nice'. his antagonistic nature caused poor old vincent van gogh to cut part of his ear off and paul eventually died in poverty riddled with disease with as many people hating his guts as those who loved him.

yet, it's paul gauguin! his art and romantic story makes humanity as a whole a better thing. how many artists have been influenced by his work and life story? heck, my favorite novel, the moon and sixpence (by somerset maugham) was inspired by his life. we are all richer because he chose to be a selfish b******.

so i say make a choice and don't whine about it, just trust that if you are following your heart that you are doing something worthy for you.

[AndyColemants]

this is a great subject- i've been struggling with it for years now, ever since i heard "follow your bliss." it felt right, but the trouble was, what was my bliss? i was in a position of not knowing what i wanted. i knew what i didn't want, there was plenty of that, but nothing i could think of excited me very much, and if it did, it was brief, died down pretty quick.

from the begining i was a rebel and did what i wanted without regard to what others wanted of me, but i dragged around a lot of guilt about that. and still do, thought not so much. some people look at me and envy my ability to do whatever i want, regardless of convention, while others look at me as being irresponsible and unwilling to do my duty.

doing what i supposedly want hasn't particularly brought me happiness, but on the other hand, i'm not imprisoned in a box that i wish i could get out of. there is a freedom to being alone, there's nobody around to tell you what they think you should do. that in itself is bliss.

i think i finally have found what i want to do, i've been doing it all along, but haven't lableled it as meaningful in this world. that is to be open to any information that comes along, to constantly work on becoming a better person, to keep searching, to interact with others to the best of my ability, etc. satisfying my curiosity about myself and this world is following my bliss. in the meantime i support myself with work that isn't boring, so i don't have to feel guilty about someone else supporting me.

i've been in bliss ever since i got on the internet just recently. who would have known the wealth that it contains. i've got immense gratitude, am learning in leaps and bounds, and love you all.

[freevideoandoicsI]

greetings to you,
this is my point of view. please accept that i have difficulty putting concepts and feelings into words.
"follow your bliss" means exactly that. we are all love and light and we are all part of the creator therefore we are all the creator. all you see and sense around you is what you have created.
if you are experiencing bad things like debt, a rubbish job, failed relationships, it is because you have created them.
you are the love and the light and, when your beliefs and thoughts are aligned with that, life is a joy and happiness is yours.
for example, if you have financial debts it is because you have created them. you believe that you do not have enough money to get out of them. so you have to change this belief. you start to think positively. you work out a budget, you cut back a bit here and there, look for a job that pays more money. you write to the people you owe money to and request their help. you start to think, "yes, i have got enough." you begin to create a new reality for yourself.
you say,"follow your bliss, follow your heart."
your heart is pure. full of love and happiness. you have got to believe that. your heart is perfect. it is your dreams and your beliefs that are in conflict with your heart and you create these conflicts, these dreams, these beliefs. you can change them.
you can't run away from what you have created but you can change what you have created by creating something new.create what makes you feel happy. create happy situations. create good, happy thoughts. be positive. then, as things improve , your beliefs change as you see the effects around you change. show others the happiness and love you have already in your heart.
follow your bliss.follow your heart. it is full of joy and happiness. bring your dreams and beliefs in line with what you really are.

peace and love to you,

yusuf

[unsamiSlini]

it might be easier to make sense of this if you look at it from the 'top' down. we make up the one infinite creator that chose to split up into bits to experience things it couldn't do as a complete thing.

what can god do 'better' as little bits than as a unified whole?

it can fail, try something, and fail, over and over and by failing it can learn about itself.

consider playing a game of darts. you could be genetically gifted to have a steady hand, good eyesight and confidence under pressure and with practice you could be the 'best'. but, there's always the chance that some drunk slob wanders into the tournament with nothing to lose and throws the darts without any apparent technique and still wins the game.

consider playing pool (billiards), you can carefully consider your shots, do the math and geometry etc and apply a practiced touch to the cue and hope for the best and sink all the balls in one shot, but someone can walk up to the table and smack the cue ball and sink all the balls without any preparation. which one is 'better'? the practice makes perfect way or the 'ultra cool' way?

we are immortal souls, that will one day rejoin the one infinite creator, we are in some kind of holographic simulation where light is made into matter and like playing a video game you can choose the parameters and the role you choose to play. you don't have to be the guy in the white hat, after all, you've played this game over and over.

what matters is that you eventually find a pattern, the truth, that becomes firmer and firmer the more times you play and fail or play and win but not as well as you could win so you try to win a little better next time.

flip a coin over and over and one day it will land on it's edge, god can do that every time so it's not that cool, but if little old you flip a coin and it lands on it's edge that's pretty damn impressive eh?!!

[Hokimjers]

i think what david wilcock said about free will is the key to some basic understanding, there's no "good" or "bad" choices or even "better" choices there are only choices and whatever you choose will lead to challenges and opportunities for you to grow.

we're not trying to be as "godly" as possible, as we are already god. our goals are not to become like gandhi because he was a 'good' man but to be the best person you can be.

each choice you make in your day when it relates to others is what this is all about, did you help that old lady cross the road or just hurry on by? gandhi wasn't there to help her but you were, even if it made you late for something important, that is your purpose, to choose to help or not.

here's the example i like the most. paul gauguin, he was basically a jerk, he left his wife and kids and social responsibilities and ran away to be utterly selfish, never giving an inch to 'be nice'. his antagonistic nature caused poor old vincent van gogh to cut part of his ear off and paul eventually died in poverty riddled with disease with as many people hating his guts as those who loved him.

yet, it's paul gauguin! his art and romantic story makes humanity as a whole a better thing. how many artists have been influenced by his work and life story? heck, my favorite novel, the moon and sixpence (by somerset maugham) was inspired by his life. we are all richer because he chose to be a selfish b******.

so i say make a choice and don't whine about it, just trust that if you are following your heart that you are doing something worthy for you.

very interesting, dazcox. to be honest, i had never heard of paul gauguin before you mentioned him here. and i googled him to check out his life story. i have to say that i agree with you, in that, it won't do anyone any good to put your life on hold. but i also saw that paul gauguin had many serious bouts of depression and it sounds like he did his share of whining too.

it just goes to show that it is not easy for anyone to make these decisions and to live the "free bird" kind of life. especially in this world full of people whose lives are shrouded in the false limitations and fears. essentially a "free bird" type character is going to encounter a lot of adversity as he/she goes against virtually every person's framework of reality that he/she encounters.

but, i absolutely agree with you that he/she should go for it and not whine about it. and, as yusuf says, create your reality the way you want it. regardless of whether or not it takes your loved ones around you out of their comfort zone.

[Hokimjers]

hello everyone! i would just like to hear everyone's view point on this topic because i have run into this dilemma a few times in my life and i would like to have a more well rounded idea of a healthy way to approach it, if it should happen again.

we have all heard that to "follow your bliss" or "follow your heart" is the secret to life. but what do you do when your heart is leading you away from your obligations and responsibilities? like if following your heart and dreams seem to be conflicting with your marriage or your career? it would seem selfish to go running off after your dreams and abandon your family. and the last thing i ever want to be is selfish. but, i believe, that people who feel trapped become miserable. and then the misery spreads.

take this poem for example:

don't ask so much what the world needs.
go out and do what makes you come alive,
because what the world needs most
are people who have come alive.
-howard thurman so what happens when life gets in the way of becoming alive?

[9V4i8xw1]

hi foo,

boy you really helped me with this, so i am happy to give you my thoughts on this one…

as i said once (in one of your threads) my dear family has had a great deal in what i used to call “the chains keeping me apart from my bliss”, in brief: traditional brazilian family keeps rebel daughter from freedom to guarantee the right ongoing of the name and “fortune”. in other words: do as they say and have an abundant amount of useless things or, be free poor and “damned’… in other words: they are a *** in the **...

i realized that i was afraid of loosing something: things, comfort and their “love” (i call love a thing in this case because it could be negotiable, and love as i understand now does not go into this category).

but … when you said that thing about acceptance i realized that i was the one not accepting things!!!!!!! i was afraid and that’s all! when i realized that i was living in hell by fear of hell… i had a shock… i stopped….

in other words: it’s not the outside that mattered, but how i was taking it…. my fear was the only problem, and only thing that needed to be changed!

now i say what i think, but not in rage because i don’t need to convince anyone anymore.
now i can even work to get my bills paid… because i am convinced that i created this situation with my anger, so this reality does not contradict my dream of freedom with abundance anymore: i see clearly that i believed in this, i expected this by not wanting it and for that reason putting all my attention in it, complaining, fighting…oh my… for so long!
now… i can be here, in peace, in knowing. what i now know is enough to make me feel the anticipated joy of what is to come! i already saw that working…. i just decided to change the expectations…

good vibes bro

[Hokimjers]

hi foo,

boy you really helped me with this, so i am happy to give you my thoughts on this one…

as i said once (in one of your threads) my dear family has had a great deal in what i used to call “the chains keeping me apart from my bliss”, in brief: traditional brazilian family keeps rebel daughter from freedom to guarantee the right ongoing of the name and “fortune”. in other words: do as they say and have an abundant amount of useless things or, be free poor and “damned’… in other words: they are a *** in the **...

i realized that i was afraid of loosing something: things, comfort and their “love” (i call love a thing in this case because it could be negotiable, and love as i understand now does not go into this category).

but … when you said that thing about acceptance i realized that i was the one not accepting things!!!!!!! i was afraid and that’s all! when i realized that i was living in hell by fear of hell… i had a shock… i stopped….

in other words: it’s not the outside that mattered, but how i was taking it…. my fear was the only problem, and only thing that needed to be changed!

now i say what i think, but not in rage because i don’t need to convince anyone anymore.
now i can even work to get my bills paid… because i am convinced that i created this situation with my anger, so this reality does not contradict my dream of freedom with abundance anymore: i see clearly that i believed in this, i expected this by not wanting it and for that reason putting all my attention in it, complaining, fighting…oh my… for so long!
now… i can be here, in peace, in knowing. what i now know is enough to make me feel the anticipated joy of what is to come! i already saw that working…. i just decided to change the expectations…

good vibes bro

thank you, lala, for sharing that with me. i think it is a sign of an advanced soul when you are able to free your heart and spirit and be happy even though your body must remain restricted, for whatever reason, like you have done.

i guess this is kind of the answer i was thinking and expecting but i wasn't sure. thank you for clarifying it for me in my head.

i think it is important we all support our loved ones, who are close to us, to follow their hearts without fear.

thank you lala. and congratulations on finding peace with the difficult position you were put in with your family. truly the mark of an advanced soul.

[reiruviartugs]

wow - thanks foo and lala!

have i been struggling with this exact dilemma?!

i love my family and i have always put them first - i've been a 'pleaser' all my life - actually i translate that now as 'coward' - too afraid to be myself and follow my bliss because it would 'hurt' the ones i love...

i am still a coward - most of the time - although i know speak up for myself if others are disrespectful - since i know that this is not a 'projection' of the way i treat people i no longer let people do this to me - it's been interesting to see the reactions and has been good for my self-esteem...however, it is only a beginning - when i am truly brave i will walk out the door!

i know where i would go and what i would do - and i also know what condemnation i would endure for doing it - so at the moment i am not prepared to go ahead...maybe i just have to love myself quite a bit more?
i support my family to do whatever they want - but that always seems to be at the expense of what i'd love to do...and i don't know yet how to make that different.

hoping to find the peace you have found lala - and thanks for the thought-provoking topic again foo - i am grateful for your wisdom.

with love,

kathy