[hrthwhr]

i sit here and find myself getting aggraveted at alot of things ... and all i want to do is to start breaking all of my stuff i have, even though i dont really have much. i find myself not wanting a car ... not wanting to work for an idea (money) ... not enjoying myself around others who, i am told, enjoy my company ... i feel sooo tired. i cant quite my mind. none of the people that are directly around me can really help me spiritually. most of them are walking with blinders on (as i once was). but, i also feel myself getting aggravated at myself. i want to run, but there is no hiding. maybe i need to spend time in a depravation chamber or something ... i dont know. can someone at least point me in the right direction so i can free myself from these feelings?

[JulieSmithXIV]

what i like to do when i'm in a similar mood or just a bad mood.
when it is nice and clear outside at night i go outside and just walk for a while. i usualy stare at the stars alot and think to myself about the things that agrivate me and why i was distressed about those things. then i just like to think of the things in life i look forward to, and try to enjoy the feeling of beeing outside and try to connect with the weather.

when i don't feel like going outside i turn on some relaxing music and meditate on good feelings, love, and peace.

[CAxrrAYN]

your not alone, i have these days too, where you just start getting mad at everything. and your mad that you dont get it right away. i cant tell you what works but what does it for me is to first let these feelings flow out especially if its anger. i just walk out of the room or whatever and beat my bed or do pushups with all the rage of a cape buffalo, then when its over and all out i sigh some relief and promise to try and move on.

[cmruloah]

greywolf, you just mentioned in the other post about missing living in the country and maybe it's time for you to leave city life

what you're describing is very similar to how i felt when i lived in a city, i felt completely trapped and assaulted by the noise, busy-ness and the intensity of the city. shortly after i recongised what those feelings were the opportunity presented itself to relocate to the country

might be worth giving some serious thought to it

and in the meantime as kranos suggests - spending even a little time tuning out from city life and tuning into gaia on a quiet walk can do wonders

[HootSnori]

not enjoying myself around others who, i am told, enjoy my company ... i feel sooo tired. i cant quite my mind. none of the people that are directly around me can really help me spiritually. most of them are walking with blinders on (as i once was)...

robert,

spiritual growth is certainly not an easy thing. you may be going through a dark night of the soul, where you essentially face parts about yourself that you don't like...

hang in there!!! you have the power to channel these frustrations into positive energy for growth. don't fight it - accept and forgive yourself, learn from whatever lesson is being presented, and move on to "the next chapter".

i quoted part of your post because even though the majority of people still have blinders on, they can in fact help you spiritually, just not in obvious ways... i'd dare say that a common theme among us here is "being a beacon of light" or "radiating" in the near future. we are the lightworkers, the wayshowers. we realize that it doesn't have to be this way, and we have the power to co-create a new reality for all of earth, not just our fellow humans.

i'm starting to go off topic here... please don't see this as "this is what you need to do, etc." many of us have shared similar experiences which are generally coined dark night of the soul. some are definitely more severe than others, but its not a comparison thing - your journey of understanding and unification is unique to you, as are all of ours...

sending you positive thoughts.

art

[hrthwhr]

thank you guys and much love. i have had this yearning to leave city life, and i think you are right butterfriends. funny thing, even before i started looking into spirituality (when i was still in the military) i wanted to move to montana, or canada, or just somewhere where i am close to nature. i was finally able to calm down last night. as i re-read what i wrote and read what you said art, you are right. just because some people are not aware of what is transpiring does not mean that they cannot help me spiritually. life is full of lessons and every interaction with people is a chance for spiritual growth. i guess i almost forgot that. = ( (((hugs for you guys))) thank you again. lots of love

robert

[Anteneprorid]

don't feel you are alone. i have recently gone through most of the same thoughts and emotions as you have mentioned as many here can attest to. much of the frustration came about because of my intense desire to search out the absolute truth of all things. that has been a central theme throughout my sojourn here this lifetime.

let me share some of the things i have learned (i am far from over it). truth can be very illusive and is highly relative. just because something is true, does not mean it is relative to your life experience. your experience will invariably be what you make it.

if you spend any time watching tv stop. turn it off, if necessary throw it out. don't listen to the radio either. if you wish to enjoy music then select your own music via cd or tape, not broadcast. either of these venues constantly bombard you with negativity. even if you don't think you pay attention it still takes it's toll. there is nothing on there you need to know. take a break from the internet too. although it is much more under your control, it still will result in information overload. reality will continue to unfold according to the divine plan even if you don't know about it.

if you are able, seek some solitude in a silent natural setting. you need time to commune with the universe and your higher self away from man made distractions.

remember that all these feelings are arising for you to purify and deal with them in a positive way. it is a part of the intense cleansing that is happening to us all at this time. know that things are going to get worse before they get better. it is part of the process required to awaken the sleeping masses. don't give in to the fear for that is where the anger comes from. it's all just a hologram designed to promote spiritual growth.

peace be with you.

[ticfarentibia]

hi, every one goes though up and down in life. its something we have it since birth. so i think your on the right track by doing and focusing on something positive, rather than your mood letting you take over.

just keep on practicing what your doing, and soon you'll be all right!.

best luck

[onelovemp]

sometimes, reality may create situations where there it seems there is nowhere to turn.

in my experience, this is to show you that nothing outside you is what you are supposed to be turning to. not friends, not even us or even external spiritual help at times.

sometimes, it is supposed to be just you turning within.

go inside, be still, and see what happens. see what happens when you see there is no where to turn but within.

[corsar-caribean]

this is a prime example of why a smoking habit can be a positive thing.
when i feel this way, i grab my cigarettes, walk outside to a park near my house (it's usually at night so there are no kids around for my smoke to bother), light up, and talk to no one in particular.

there's nobody around to hear me talking to myself, and i ask questions and the answers usually come immediately, and i speak the answers to my questions as well, but when i say them they come in a slight accent. i've wondered if what i'm doing is a form of channeling, due to the accent, but i've never heard of anybody channeling in this way before. but usually by the time the cigarette (and glass of wine as well, if it's been a really rough day) has finished, i feel much better and am ready to rejoin society.

[BrainTop]

yes man, you are not alone in this. i know deeply how you feel. i am not the person with the answers right now at all but i just wanted to show a little support for you.

ever seen the movie "into the wild"? it is the true story of a guy who did what you are talking about. he burned all his cash, gave away all his savings to charity and cut up all his identification documents. then he went into the alaskan wilderness and lived off the land kind of like the "depravation chamber" that you mentioned. anyway, the guy kept a journal throughout all of this and came to some great insights by completely abandoning everything like that to be all alone in the wilderness. it might be good for you to check it out.

cheers,
ryan

[K0aM7urg]

ever seen the movie "into the wild"? it is the true story of a guy who did what you are talking about. he burned all his cash, gave away all his savings to charity and cut up all his identification documents. then he went into the alaskan wilderness and lived off the land kind of like the "depravation chamber" that you mentioned. anyway, the guy kept a journal throughout all of this and came to some great insights by completely abandoning everything like that to be all alone in the wilderness. it might be good for you to check it out.

cheers,
ryan

i just watched that movie last night. one of the best ever. there are so many precious moments in the movie. i just loved it.

megan

[hrthwhr]

i started to watch the movie, but wasnt able to finish. but what i did see, i liked (i was approx 35 min. into the movie). i am going to finish watching that movie. things, things, things ... i feel like that at times.

thank you guys for your support. = )

[omaculer]

i sit here and find myself getting aggraveted at alot of things ... and all i want to do is to start breaking all of my stuff i have, even though i dont really have much. i find myself not wanting a car ... not wanting to work for an idea (money) ... not enjoying myself around others who, i am told, enjoy my company ... i feel sooo tired. i cant quite my mind. none of the people that are directly around me can really help me spiritually. most of them are walking with blinders on (as i once was). but, i also feel myself getting aggravated at myself. i want to run, but there is no hiding. maybe i need to spend time in a depravation chamber or something ... i dont know. can someone at least point me in the right direction so i can free myself from these feelings?

hi,

maybe i am allowed to ask you to remember how thoughts create feelings and emotions and circumstances you live in.
the question i ask myself when i am in the mood you are in now ( well not exactly now as today is 5 days later) ; what is it inside me that prevents me from accepting these feelings?
what is the reason i cling to these feelings?

i always come up with a wound inside that wants to be healed.

i wish you healing.