[Metrujectiktus]

hey guys!

just wanted to share something with you, in need of a catharsis, so here goes:

i want to start by saying that all this material (law of one/the science of peace..etc) really resonate with my "frequency" of being

so here it goes, huh, didn´t think it would be this hard to write...

i am fairly new to living a spiritual life, consciously that is.
i´ve been meditating doing yoga and prayers for some time now and recently really became aware of its positive effects. as a child i was very sensitive to other peoples emotions, and i got upset really easily when their was an argument among family members. i think that my way of protecting myself from feeling other peoples feelings was to shut down my own feelings, being in a numb kind of state. this has continued until quite recently.

the main thing that i guess triggered my search for my inner light was the feeling of depression, coming at first for a month, then disappering. then coming back for two months, etc. this continued until i was in the dark pretty much constantly. living in fear, shame, blame...

then there was the light.

yoga, meditation, healthier diet, sleeping less, really has done it for me.

so here is where i am today:

i recently opened my heart chakra (what a wonderful feeling, alive at last) which rendered me some really beautiful days in the "sun".

and here´s to the reason i posted this thread, as i´m opening up to the world emotionally and trying to stay positive (no newspaper/tv/alcohol) i got a call from one of my best friends saying that a common friend of oures brother recently commited suicide.

i felt so emotionally f***** up. i just wanted the self hatred to stop. we have to love our selves. but now i feel that as if my heart is closing on me once more, wanting to escape this feeling of pain, goíng back to the numbness. i know this may sound egocentrical of me. i am not the one how should be felt sorry for. but how do you keep an opened heart in this day and age??? i will try to live here with an open heart, but the more love i feel, the more helpless towards the feeling of hatred amongst ourselves i am being aware of. staying numb had its purpose i guess, but i do not want to live like that.

peace, love, light.

[ñàéäèíã]

i too am trying to learn to live with a more open heart. it is one of the hardest things i have ever tried to do. i am learning that if i have love flowing out of my heart it doesn't hurt then. it is when i don't have the love flowing out of my heart that i seem to be absorbing negative energy from other's around me, and then my heart chakra hurts me. if i could only figure out how to have love flowing out from my heart chakra all of the time i wouldn't go through near as much emotional pain. but i think that takes a lifetime of practice, if it is possible at all. in the meantime, i am just trying to remember to let unconditional love flow through my heart out unto all others as often as possible, and that seems to stop quite a lot of my emotional pain.

[Pharmaciest]

but now i feel that as if my heart is closing on me once more, wanting to escape this feeling of pain, goíng back to the numbness. i know this may sound egocentrical of me. i am not the one how should be felt sorry for. but how do you keep an opened heart in this day and age??? i would not advise anyone to keep their heart center wide open all the time. i had trouble with this too, especially when i was younger. it seemed like everyone was always saying 'open your heart!' and when i was sitting there in meditation it felt great, but when i went about my day like this, i would sometimes just get hit with a shockwave of energy that felt like i'd just got run over with a truck!

debbie, i think you got a big hit when you said "it is when i don't have the love flowing out of my heart that i seem to be absorbing negative energy..." balance is the key, or at least a very large part of it, because it's much harder to receive negative energy when you are radiating positive energy outward.

there are also steps you can take to protect yourself, like simply asking for protection, and/or keeping yourself surrounded with white light of protection. every time you think of this protective egg of white light, you strengthen it.

one method that has been most effective for me is to just make yourself invisible to the lower vibrations of denser energy, because sometimes when you try to block it or resist, it seems to only draw their attention and makes it worse. like the karate kid's teacher said, "best defense... no be there!" (or at least make it appear that way.)

[Mifsnavassy]

even though i have only been meditating for a relatively short period of time. i am beginning to understand things about the human body and emotion that are connected.

one of the hardest things that the human psyche has to contend with is unconditional love. through the evolution of consciousness, humans have adapted by conditioning their emotional responses to protect them. it is part of survival. after you have been subjected to something enough times you become hardened by it. the first time you are subjected to someone taking their life from the 3d sense and transforming it into the 4d, it hurts. you see all of the grief that is felt by all those who are left behind and your heart goes out to them. unconditional love to me is being able to accept the things that you cannot accept. if you have a large enough heart, you can find a place to put that emotion and keep it there. perhaps a way to look at it would be comparing it to a hard drive on a computer. everything that you learn and experience can be placed into files and labeled. you have control over when and why you want to open a certain file. you can open it look at it and close it again. you don't have to open any file that you don't want to. when you think of a mother going to the prison to forgive a man that took her son's life you wonder how she could do possibly do that. the answer is that she has accepted that she can not do anything to bring him back, and that she now has only the memories in files to open up and experience. the pain and sorrow has to go into file as well. she understands that taking another persons life once it is understood by the murderer will destroy that person as well. she puts herself in the shoes of that person's mother and understands that more will suffer, and for what? this is a very, very hard concept to grasp and we as humans have some more evolving to do before we can really understand this. i believe that is what is holding us back and very soon we will be able to understand this concept. then we may ascend and join those who are watching and waiting for this to happen for us.

[arreskslarlig]

hello chrisc,

i think you have gotten some very fine advice here. let me encourage you by saying that you will become stronger in the firmament that you are now building. suicide is immensely painful and it is not surprising that it put you down below your threshold.

call upon god, your angels, higher beings or whatever seems true to you for help. help comes! you are never alone.

i find the easiest way to forgive everyone, including yourself, is to have insight into this mess we're in. to let your understanding ponder how each of us is caught up in a web of trillions of prior events and impressions so that we are reacting and reacting in a dreamlike fashion. it really is true that there is no sin but just ignorance. people don't really want to be stuck in negativity and anger.

or if they do, for entertainment, let them be at that stage and don't get caught up in it. most tv, for example, is designed to entertain you by pulling you into negative, superemotional scenarios that aren't even real. why bother.

the negativity in our lives is not nearly as real as you think (my opinion based on my own spiritual insight). thinking it's what is really going on is a matter of perception. there's a whole other level where what's going on is that we love each other.

i know a technique that might help you, but i assume i am not allowed to say what it is, so if you pm me, i'll tell you.

[Metrujectiktus]

thank you for your advice. i really feel that forgiveness/uncoditional love is the way. i guess even a tumbling step forward is a step in the right direction...

i have to get back up on the horse

peace, love, light.