[ExelePlavisseu]

part 3 of "the deeper secret" was quite the sermon. tho i've been down this road before.
but when i see phrases like "contributing to society", or sloth and ineptness - and their better converse qualities; ouch. i consider myself somewhat inept and unfocused, in details. to, i'm 46 and clueless as to what i really want. and i'm either afraid or somehow detest responsibility. i also detest traditional trades!
{and i'm finding starting something on line is a pain as well. i simply hate promoting.}

there were also lines about giving your best for an employers wage.

so, i'm an inept, careless loser...that has been doing backbreaking landscape construction (trade : ) for 20 years. today, i make $14 an hour with no insurance. but that's fair ain't it...

i was going to post in that thread on a.d.d. but i'm honest enough to admit this may be a character thing as well. i've had my fun with drugs and metal. but, i've been this way, way before drugs. even at summer camp as a kid i got signals from instructors that i was a bit less than capable.
could'nt help note the original (add) poster said he could manage the things he liked. gee, fancy that.
i love my guitar, have some neat works of natural art and am learning 3d animation (plus all the esoterics). but these are hobbies, not major talents.

most, of it is my own fault. ie., astrology reports are fairly correct when they indicate my childhood sucked. but those who've been in worse situations and were able to make something of their lives put things back in my court.

yet i still think both luck and astrological forces are at play in this. that is, regardless of both responsibility and talent. there i said it. it's like those napoleonic battles. you get shot or you don't.......

and for ie., what about the factories in england in the 17-1800's? historically, that was where they got the phrase, "bring out your dead". they were literally worked to death. kids too. those good for nothings...

so i'm guilty. but i think there's something missing in these sermons. sermons of this nature. could be me....what say you?

but i must admit, this site has really gotten things going inside. and i forgot to mention i went to school for computers. electronics, networking and repair.
i graduated....no one hired me as i had "no experience". plus i'm just shy and introverted (and found out that electronics and networking are as boring as, plumbing : )

i'm not an idiot (who is?). the fact is...partly....the system itself. for the first time i heard a guy, who's one of these exposers of the ptb, actually say that much of the psychological maladies of today... are directly linked to the system itself.
while at the same time, that very same system puts the blame squarely on you.

could be excuses. but i'm being honest here as well : )

so i'm now going in circles. i think this year will be very interesting in light of all this. i'm certainly going to try and get in tune with my higher self.
{what i've been dreaming about is having my own little theater and putting on vampiric black metal shows. see? that's a dream or a "follow your bliss" thing. but it seems too impossible. and another part of me, simply does'nt want to do that. so i'm just out of my mind. tho my substitute for this is to do the same but in animation. but it takes free time. alot of free time.}

>>>>>>>>

ok, this happened to me today and i may as well finish it all here.
i was driving down the street and saw these girls walking on the sidewalk. i was coming up from behind, just at normal speed with no change in anything.
but i had a very brief lustful thought (still about 25 yards away). one of them turned around immediately with a fierce scowl - like i was somekinda thug pervert up to no good.

now this is pathetic. and this has actually happened to me before. i'm observant and i can say i've never ever seen this happen to any other guy ever. ever. i don't think i ever will.
but this is the kinda crap i have to deal with. please someone pm me if you're advanced in the universal game.
my co workers have been as crude as you can get. the girls either ignore it, laugh or even flaunt. and what do i get, for just thinking?

now it just so happens that this very same ptb researcher addresses stuff similar to this. there really is this thought policing now.
i think it's both this and that i'm psychic or able to (unwantedly) broadcast my thoughts.
this is like a prison camp in every way now.

thanks for reading

[Enrivaanonock]

now it just so happens that this very same ptb researcher addresses stuff similar to this. there really is this thought policing now.
i think it's both this and that i'm psychic or able to (unwantedly) broadcast my thoughts.
this is like a prison camp in every way now.

thanks for reading

hi bro. good post.
that psychic thing your talking about happends to people all the time. used to happend to me a lot. still does, but now im sending out different stuff so i dont need to deal with all that negative feedback. guess people have to find their own way doing that. i think what changed it for me was getting into training working dogs. i needed to have very clear intent to succseed. and that was the key to a lot of stuff

btw being inapt is nice. i never deal with people who are not inapt for a long period of time. thats just boring.

[thighikergove]

hi bro. good post.
that psychic thing your talking about happends to people all the time. used to happend to me a lot. still does, but now im sending out different stuff so i dont need to deal with all that negative feedback. guess people have to find their own way doing that. i think what changed it for me was getting into training working dogs. i needed to have very clear intent to succseed. and that was the key to a lot of stuff

btw being inapt is nice. i never deal with people who are not inapt for a long period of time. thats just boring.

i agree w/ the above poster. to offer my perspective i think you have innate qualities and that can feel like a mixed blessing and sometimes maybe like a curse. youre dealing with issues the higher self is projecting back at you to be dealt with, analyzed, accepted, balanced etc, you are the creator. things are to be loved, that is the game. this ties in somewhat with the earlier thread about fearing demons, when all sides are accepted and balanced, the self opened up to the universal love of things there is a knowing and a trusting - a certain flow to things. when the self is completely open in the green ray there is very little room for fear. thus such situations are seen as an opportunity for growth, presented to you by the higher self.

[ExelePlavisseu]

thanks for the replies. yes, everyone has good qualities somewhere. some just have the one's this system likes better. perhaps. it cracks me up tho, these kids who are born with super talent.

to, i live in a ritzy area. some of the richest people in the world live here (cape cod, mass.). so just this breeds this attitude of elitist um, eugenics.

the higher self...

the material has a nice point; when i get this, then i'll be happy. and we see what happens to those who have it all. this just makes the paradox totally extreme, in a 3d sense.

i'd like to meet (been asking) someone who is in anyway connected to my own hs.

ya know, i personally do not believe in "losers". no one is. not on this planet.
when i was in the army there were a few guys who actually thanked me for not making fun of them. ouch.

i've always wanted a gift from heaven to shall we say, level the playing field.

they talk about merit. or the god of unmerited favor or un-deserve. that's fair i guess. but still, something is amiss. it may have to do with the left right brain thing (not to mention faulty artificial systems).

i would love to really know how ancient, balanced peoples treated those with lesser ability etc.

gee, i saw the movie "the kingdom". think it was danish. this was quite the statement. it showed upper echelon types as terrified of losing face or under achieving. it had the spectrum of talent and character...
but they had 2 folks with actual d. syndrome as dishwashers. the only ones who knew what was really going on.

[thighikergove]

thanks for the replies. yes, everyone has good qualities somewhere. some just have the one's this system likes better. perhaps. it cracks me up tho, these kids who are born with super talent.

to, i live in a ritzy area. some of the richest people in the world live here (cape cod, mass.). so just this breeds this attitude of elitist um, eugenics.

the higher self...

the material has a nice point; when i get this, then i'll be happy. and we see what happens to those who have it all. this just makes the paradox totally extreme, in a 3d sense.

i'd like to meet (been asking) someone who is in anyway connected to my own hs.

ya know, i personally do not believe in "losers". no one is. not on this planet.
when i was in the army there were a few guys who actually thanked me for not making fun of them. ouch.

i've always wanted a gift from heaven to shall we say, level the playing field.

they talk about merit. or the god of unmerited favor or un-deserve. that's fair i guess. but still, something is amiss. it may have to do with the left right brain thing (not to mention faulty artificial systems).

i would love to really know how ancient, balanced peoples treated those with lesser ability etc.

gee, i saw the movie "the kingdom". think it was danish. this was quite the statement. it showed upper echelon types as terrified of losing face or under achieving. it had the spectrum of talent and character...
but they had 2 folks with actual d. syndrome as dishwashers. the only ones who knew what was really going on.

yeah that is a part of the choice isnt it? to decide in our hearts whether we believe the illusion, or we believe in ~ourselves. i feel anytime we give into the idea of elites and 'lesser thans' on any level we are doing one of two things, -- either giving our power away, or trying to take power from someone else. that is how the elitist mind set works. it is still the individual's choice of believing in these (false) requirements for life, and it is a self fullfilling belief.

look at those around you who are judging others harshly in this way... would you say these individuals are generally enlightened, and/or happy?

peace within is not dependent on what anyone else around you thinks or says or does, or on any external event or object for that matter, as david/ ra would say this is the "fool's equation": ' i will be happy if/when ____(insert external event/object)__ occurs.

how can there be better or worse characters in a play in which the creator is knowing itself?

a lot of being enlightened comes from stepping outside the limitations we have placed around ourselves. keep in mind the more catalyst one is going through the more active potential they have as well, waiting to be realized. yet strive for nothing. just to truly 'be', yet this is the greatest accomplishment!

[Pharmaciest]

vithar, my heart goes out to you, and i suspect that there is no one here who has not grappled with the issues that you are going thru. if you can just step back a little and see if you can get a glimpse of the bigger picture, that may help. if you can just somehow sense the perfection of intelligent infinity at work here, you might also see that what you consider your greatest problems, or your biggest flaws contain the very seeds of your greatest joy and fulfillment.

if you could, for one instant, feel the magnificent love the creator has for you, your life would be forever changed, but ironically you would also lose some of your greatest potential. trust the grand perfection that's playing out in your life and realize that highest potential is always being offered. this post from charles is spot on, and it's definitely worth reading again. i'm continuously amazed at the wisdom i find on this forum!

look at those around you who are judging others harshly in this way... would you say these individuals are generally enlightened, and/or happy?

peace within is not dependent on what anyone else around you thinks or says or does, or on any external event or object for that matter, as david/ ra would say this is the "fool's equation": ' i will be happy if/when ____(insert external event/object)__ occurs.

how can there be better or worse characters in a play in which the creator is knowing itself?

a lot of being enlightened comes from stepping outside the limitations we have placed around ourselves. keep in mind the more catalyst one is going through the more active potential they have as well, waiting to be realized. yet strive for nothing. just to truly 'be', yet this is the greatest accomplishment!

very well put, charles! words of wisdom, indeed!

[ExelePlavisseu]

thanks so much. i'm much more rested today (made that post about insomnia).
when i'm tired everything seems so much worse. and naturally, this accounts for some, of the unfocused behavior. on a side note, this seems to be why i have/love to work outdoors. i think i'd just get sick working inside all day, everyday. not sure what will happen when i get old tho.

my emotions get the better of me. but i've an "excuse"; venus, sun, mars, neptune and mercury in scorpio {no wonder it's full on pure black metal!!!}. i've a mercury square saturn and a venus square jupiter, of all things. so it's always been hard to get anything significantly major accomplished.

another thing, because of my stormy/self stinging interior, is that i get highly defensive towards (even constructive) criticism. i've been fired several times due to this. tho i do feel justified (i've a libra ascendant : )

but just this morning (thanks guys), i said to myself, "the very next time it happens, let it go. (that is) that very one time. then after that one, try this again."

....what the !#@#@! did you say!!??? ha.

[ExelePlavisseu]

i don't care for this thread any longer as i started it off when feeling very poorly (the replies are great tho : ). i don't think it's ineptness but more a kind of distractedness. an emotional, right brain bleedthrough kinda thing.
fact is, i just don't want to play the game of mr. competent - regardless on what level, peon or field marshal.
i simply want to master an art or craft...

ok, the motivation behind this specific post is that i just had my first nightmare concerning 2012 and possible scenarios. this took me by surprise as the day itself was perfect. now that's rare.
pattern to (tho not the nightmarish part), two nights back i had a dream where two young girls looked at each other with very warm, loving yet knowing smiles. one of them said one word; nasa.
last night, one of the dream fragments had another young girl as a military jet pilot. now this thing had some huge contraption sticking out the front. and several were doing insanely steep banks. so i was freaked to see someone so young (and female).

the nightmarish aspect was more a feeling. i was lying down listening to a show on the radio about the coming (possible pole shift). the fear in me was fairly intense. but then there was this dude in front of me calling into the show. he started talking but then became exceedingly fearful and dis-oriented and just collapsed onto the bed i was on. i awoke right then to find that this fear lasted for another solid hour.
that the fear lasted makes me think i was being toyed with (again). if post psychic attack descriptions are any indication.

now to tie it all in; (my childhood aside) i am constantly being "harrassed" by something. it's either weather, noises, food, implants, scalars, emotions, people, whatever.
what i'm saying is that it at least seems ...something is constantly preventing me from optimal levels of energy. and this new event is of special concern as i've been trying extra hard (due to this site) to connect with my higher self.