[dosyrotsbop]

help severly needed from those practicing

i was hoping i might ask a few fellow practitioners to coalesce energy towards something very good, and very needed. my wife and i are getting a divorce, and are in a custody battle. her parental philosophy has left her oldest son incredibly violent and kicked out of 4 schools in 5 years. hes 13, and she lets him drink, smoke pot, and buys him porn. i do not want this for my 3 year old, and am in the middle of this battle for that purpose. however, our judge is a bit of an old southern type, and i am the opposite. i was going to ask for any help/energy/working others might choose to add to the energy im putting towards this end (me winning this custody battle). any help and/or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

see below for more details on why this would be good rather than not so good (its not going against the will of another, or good). this is an essay i did for an entry-level college course, but since then, she has brought up paranoia and agoraphobia as reasons for me not to gain custody...

a new beginning:
how i woke up from my favorite nightmare

my entire life, i have wanted only two things: love and happiness. four years ago, i believed that i had found them both. my wife, missy, was the light of my life. i adored her in every way imaginable, and was never shy about telling her so. i always asked how her day was, and rubbed her neck and back daily without exception. a year after we were married, a new light brighter and warmer than i'd imagined possible, graced my life with his presence. we named this precious joy derek franklin, and he was everything i'd ever dreamed of. in the euphoric state of spending my days with him, i never stopped to notice the road my love concerning his mother was a one way street. i knew i'd go through hell to be with my son. standing where i am today, i can't say for sure that i didn't. it was worth every second though, for i've made it out, with him by my side.

now before i seem as if i'm being a bit dramatic, let me give you a glimpse into this situation i label hell. the first thing you must understand is that i’m very much a romantic. i have a heart of gold, but i wear it on my sleeve. this has brought me so many tears these last four years, but it’s my nature, not my choice. when she would leave me at the house for days at a time while she partied and stayed in hotels, ripping me apart. we drove by mcdonald’s once, and she said “i had sex with a guy in that playland”. from that day on, every time i saw that playland, my heart broke a little more. there were several similar sexual stories repeated many times throughout our marriage. i knew she’d been with other people, but that didn’t mean i wanted to hear about it. she would buy beer i wasn’t allowed to touch, because it was for her 15 year old nephews. her oldest son, age 13, punched me in the face regularly, and threatened me with knives. when i would say something to try to correct this behavior, i would get yelled at and threatened with divorce for making him mad. i can’t tell you how many times i’ve heard “i hate you! i’m cheating on you!” “please go kill yourself” was even added in periodically, for good measure. she systematically made everything i said irrelevant. i would ground our 13 year old from his television, she would respond by taking him to the movies. i say no vicious dogs, and we get a pit bull the next day. she got him a 4-wheeler a day after he threatened to assault his teacher! i was raised to believe that respect is essential, and for four years, i had none. this hell intensified toward the end of our marriage, when i was asked to not mind her having a 70 year old sugar daddy. from what she told me, she was always promising him sex, but never delivered. after he gave her $70,000 dollars, i questioned her truthfulness, but still remained faithful to her and our marriage. i adored her. she abhorred me.

why, you ask, would i put up with this situation? his name is derek franklin benefield. my son is my best friend, the love of my life. for months after he was born, i’d stay up with my hand on his chest, following his every breath. i was so afraid something terrible would happen. in our marriage, the typical husband and wife roles were reversed. i stayed home taking care of the kids and cleaning the house, and she went to work. every morning i’d wake up with derek, we’d watch cartoons, water the peppers in the garden, anything to make him happy. we did everything together. i would teach him about the moon and stars, and he would teach me how to smile again. when i would begin to consider the possibility of getting a divorce, all i could think about was not waking up next to him every morning. i was willing to put myself through anything to make sure he was by my side.

for better or worse, my desire to hold on to our marriage and my children was soon to be irrelevant. missy decided she’d rather have several boyfriends, and gave me a week to get out. she voiced her desire for me to end my life one last time, grabbed the kids, and left. i was not about to let her ruin the life of my 3 year old, as she probably has her child of 13 years. he has been kicked out of 3 schools in 4 years, and gets detention no less than once per week. he’s been taught that conscience isn’t manly, that fighting is the answer to everything. derek doesn’t deserve this, and wouldn’t even approach it under my supervision. i was taught that doing the right thing is of utmost importance, and the only reason ever needed for doing it. respect, compassion, and understanding are my lessons. her lessons can be seen through the anal pornography she finds appropriate to buy our 13 year old. “he’ll get it anyway”, she rationalizes, while wondering why he doesn’t respect her. when i picked up my son, he had several severe burns on his hand, arms, legs, and back. i really don’t know what to think about this, or the fact that he attributes them to his mother’s boyfriend. my mind was made up. i was not about to watch the life of my most precious companion go down the drain because of the immaturity of his mother. i began to take notes on everything that had happened over these last 4 years of pain and turmoil.

this is a battle i never wanted. i did everything i could to avoid it, but for the future of my son, it must be waged. i turned over my information to my lawyer, and was told to be expecting a call from the judge to testify. it wasn’t the judge that called, but my lawyer. apparently after what she heard, the judge was gracious enough to not even require my testimony. the order was handed down. i had complete temporary custody of my son. his mother had no visitation rights, a fact that compelled her to threaten my life in a later telephone conversation. in the last 4 years, i have gone through the worst times in my life. i’ve also gone through the best. i will find out august 2 if these heavenly moments are to continue. i pray to god that they are. the first battle has been decided, but the war is far from over. i fight for the future of the most beautiful soul i have ever known.


anyway, sorry it was so long, but i dont want people thinking this may be a bad thing to do... its not. i don't really want to "sell my soul to satan" (lol) to win or anything, but any positive help would be good. if we were in a fair court, yes, i would absolutely win. unfortunately, this is in west virginia, and she had the hearing moved from a city court to a bfe court where she and her family have connections. the guardian ad litem seems to be fair, but my agoraphobia doesn't help the situation with him either. as i said, any help would be greatly appreciated...i thank you for your time, concern, and/or effort.

[cajonnmu]

light sent. good luck with your son.

[Eeaquzyh]

hello frank,

when i first read your appeal, my initial response was to stand back from the emotional pain i felt in it. but i have walked a mile or two in shoes similar to yours and i feel i must share the knowledge i gained along the way, for whatever help it might be to you in your current situation:

1. take care of yourself and your own emotions, spirtuality and groundedness because you will only be a help to your son if you remain solid emotionally yourself. continue to meditate and ask for all the help you can get from your higher self, angel guides, and ascended masters.

2. be absolutely sure you have the best attorney and social workers you can find and afford on your side because "the system" does not always work out the best arrangement on its own merits. you need excellent legal support.

3. realize that these things take time to resolve (and it's so difficult to remain patient when your child is hurting within the current situation). by remaining solid, patient, and not giving up you will be a rock and an anchor for your son to rely on and turn to.

i will continue to send you and your son light and love and lots of strength to endure.

with infinite love and peace,
nancy

[dmoiknlasd]

light sent. i wish you both all the best, with all my heart.

[7kitthuptarill]

frank, i read the first few lines and thought it best to stand back and send all of your family an influx of the highest degree of love and energy that may transit through me. i chose not to be caught up in the pain that all of you are experiencing for reasons beyond my wildest imagination. i choose not to feed the energy that is tearing all of you apart by becoming attached to the details of what is happening.

i can only suggest that you consider doing the least expected thing for a man in your position. it may sound like a "milk-toast" solution, but it will take you to the place of greatest power....and allow space for the highest energy to flow through you, healing and blessing all concerned.

1) release the painful emotions and judgments regarding your wife, the process you are going through, etc.

2) find healing silence as often as possible, connecting with your highest guidance and your true self

3) know that there is more to this picture than meets the eye, but open yourself to be a vehicle for divine love and its guidance

4) keep your energy in check, for it is anger, anxiety, fear and the whole caboodle that will block the very best from happening

5) trust that love will prevail, no matter what the outer picture seems to present; continue sending love and thoughts of peace and harmony to every member of your family, the judge, the courthouse, then....

6) just let go of all struggle and trust....may the blessings be!

with infinite love,
jo anne

[etdgxcnc]

hi frank

i feel for you, i truly do. i am a law clerk in a family law practice. i see situations such as yours all too often, unfortunately. in my experience, a mother who has already proven herself to be unfit is unlikely to be given custody of her child. the fact that she doesn’t even have visitation rights speaks volumes.

if your wife’s 13 year old son is being severely burned by her new boyfriend, you should definitely report this to the authorities. perhaps someone can help this boy as well. it sounds like he needs protecting. i urge you to do this.

from what you have said, i can’t imagine you not winning custody. do you have someone to help you with your son, a parent, a sibling, a friend to help with your issues of agoraphobia in as much as they can take your son out to parks etc? this would have an impact with the court and you would not need to worry so much about it.

where i live, the courts give great weight to what they refer to as the “status quo”. in other words, if things go well while you have temporary custody and the child’s mother does nothing to improve her situation, then the likelihood of you getting permanent custody is high.

it sounds like you have a pure and beautiful love for your son. i wish you all the best. i will keep you in my thoughts. in the interim, try to conquer your fear and know that everything will work out the way it is supposed to.

with much love
kris

[dosyrotsbop]

unfortunately, i had full custody until she has our court location moved from the city to the middle of redneckville. now she has custody, and thanks to my agoraphobia, i only have supervised visitations (my mother supervises). it is actually my 3 year old who's being burned, and i turned that info, with plenty more, over to cps. also unfortunately, it's redneckville cps, so it's all in who you know. they know them all, and i know none. my mom's perfectly willing to help with him, but being that i've done it since he was born, i don't see that becoming a problem. when i have him, i play outside with him often, my mom takes him to the park, and my sister to church, so this is also already solved.
thanks so much for your kind words and helpful suggestions... i appreciate them more than you can know.

[etdgxcnc]

i am truly sorry frank. there are many injustices in this 3d life. don't give up hope. try to stay postive. you never know what may happen.

i will keep you and your son in my thoughts and send much love and positive energy your way.

kris

[Bromikka]

while it's perfectly ok to ask for energy/prayers, etc., it's important that you also contribute good energy to your own situation. after all people cannot help anyone that doesn't help themselves as well.

[dosyrotsbop]

i'm making every effort i know to make, both in the physical and spiritual worlds, to see things go well for my son. from lawyers to meditation, i'm doing everything i know. i've got video of her drinking with the kids, e-mails from her saying i just want her for her drugs and money, and 15+ pages of mental torture. her employer is watching her for embezzlement. i'm trying to find out what else i might do to put forth my own spiritual energy towards this end, but this is a unique situation without much relevant literature....

it would have been much easier for me just to sign the papers and go on with my life, but i love my son too much to take the easy road, knowing where it leads for him. i'm doing everything i know to do, no matter how hard... any further suggestions?

[aAaBecker]

i am praying for you and your son. but please understand that something awful must have happened to her to cause her to behave the way that she does.
if i may suggest that you pray for her as well. (that will also help you to release your resentment) she apparently feels a lot of guilt also, because she is trying to make up something to her older son.
sometimes hurt people, hurt others because they don't know how to do it any other way.
don't take it personal.

everything is already all right.

it really is.

peace and blessings.

denise

[dosyrotsbop]

i have never stopped praying for her. i do, in fact, still love her with all of my heart, but with my son involved i've had to think with my head rather than my heart. i want nothing bad for her, but if it's between her or my son, there's no choice at all. she grew up in a poor situation, with her sisters being raped by stepfather, etc... but i really don't understand how any situation can cause the conscience to evaporate. i didn't grow up in a situation as bad as hers, but mine wasn't a bowl of peaches either. however, those hard times have only reinforced my conscience and compassion, as i don't want anyone to have to deal with the pain i've had to go through. i will always forgive her for her inhumane attitude towards me, but that isn't going to put her off the hook with the spiritual world. what, is she going to come back in her next life as... i don't know, whatever the karmic consequences may be? i don't want that for her, trust me. i really don't think she understands the concept of ethics. i mean, she pays her tithes with stolen money... you know? as i said, as much as i love her, the love i have for my son makes that for her seem hardly significant. i want the best for everyone, but especially him.