[Brutton]

Plan #3498753 in my ongoing efforts to get my higher chakras back up and running to the point that I have consistent audio / visuals again...

I'm pretty sure there's nothing left that's blocked or damaged in my energetic anatomy that would prevent this from happening. Now more than anything I think it's probably just learned habits and ongoing life situations that are keeping my energy focused down low, and these functions mostly inactive. I can train my mind and emotions to react to situations how I want, though getting my energy in on the act has been a more frustrating "3 steps forward, 2 back" sort of exercise.

So, I want to start working on building myself a vision screen, with speakers. Once I feel like it's built and reasonably stable within my 3rd eye area, I'll connect it to my other chakras in order to make it fully immersive and interactive. Since I had relatively frequent audio/visuals at one time, I'm hoping that I may still have the remnants of a vision screen already, and my efforts to "build" one will just give more well defined form and function, and focus more energy into whatever structure is there now. I'm hoping that putting the work into creating one will also give my energy the idea that I want a sufficient amount of it permanently distributed to my higher chakras by default.

I've poked through the archives and gained some helpful hints on this process, but I thought I'd post, both because writing helps me solidify my intent, and because I know we've got people here who have strong natural clairvoyant / audient abilities, and also those who have gone through the process of creating their own screen, who may be able to provide helpful input.

To further help formulate my intent: I'm seeing it in the form of a sideways oval. It's framed with silver, because silver is associated with receptivity, the moon, the subconscious, etc. The frame is inlaid with various stones suited to the purpose, like amethyst, lapis and labradorite. It's also engraved with various runes and symbols; some that are consistent with the purpose of working with the third eye, and others that are protective, to regulate who and what is permitted to interact with it.

The speakers provide Dolby Digital 5.1 surround sound, and go up to 11.

So that's what I got so far. Would appreciate any further helpful hints and ideas.

[VotsUtegems]

You're such a guy.
Are you working on your nuts & bolts visualization skills besides the energy work and meditative stuff?

[Brutton]

Not as much as I probably should in a deliberate regular systematized sorta way. It probably seems like a "duh" thing, lol... but since it was something I had and then lost somewhat abruptly, I guess I assumed that something had gotten blocked, damaged or disconnected, and if I could figure out what had happened I'd have it back the way it was. It didn't really occur to me to do actual visualization exercises.

Now when I try to visualize, I'll maybe see a split second flash of the image, then trying to hold it, it'll flicker, then pieces of it will go missing, lose the whole thing, bring it back, etc... a wrestling match that usually ends with forgetting I was trying to visualize and drifting into the other forms of sensing I've gotten more familiar with. I do occasional visual meditations, or try to anyway, like where you walk across a landscape, up some stairs and meet your higher self... but in my case it's more like flipping through a quick series of snapshots while having the tactile sense of the hike.

*sudden epiphany (there was about a three hour gap between writing those two paragraphs, walking off to do other stuff and coming back )*

Thinking more on this, I realize I've developed an aversion to visualizing.

I think it often happens to people who first pick up an interest in metaphysics, that more is made of visualization than it actually is. Something pretty natural gets turned into something you have to learn techniques for, practice, etc etc... and we end up overthinking something we didn't realize we were doing already; that kids get in trouble for doing too much. I think this happened to me -- when I was a kid I had elaborate pictures running through my head all the time, good imagination, spontaneous hypnogogics at night and so forth. Then when I started exploring spirituality and tried to do it with various goals in mind... not as easy. Although, by then, my system was pretty plugged up as well, which couldn't have helped.

Then I picked up Astral Dynamics early on, and while NEW is awesome and I use it for a lot of things to this day, IIRC the introduction to it portrays visualization methods for energy work as obtuse and ineffective; or that's how I read it anyway. I understand why it's written that way and can't really fault him for it, and can agree where e-work is concerned... but since NEW was easy to use and effective, I think my mind took this subconsciously and said "okay great, now I don't need to worry about using visualization (which had gotten frustrating) for anything, ever." God bless my subconscious and its tendency to go a bit nuts with the inferences.

And shortly after that life took a series of turns that pulled my energy down into my bottom three chakras, with the negs and the wackiness and the hey hey hey mmglaven. I thought I had that cycle figured out and broken, but unfortunately as of a series of events last week that I'm still on the tail end of recovering from, I can't say that this is the case. I also can't say that it's entirely a neg thing anymore though. What I'm currently getting is that the original aversion is at the heart of the cycle, and it somehow got inflated into something much more problematic, which attracts "shake-up" events to prevent me from focusing on the higher chakras at all.

So, new gameplan: get rid of structures relating to that aversion, do some repatterning to frame visualization in positive terms, then get on with the visualization practice and vision screen creation. (Gameplan subject to further revision if any one of those steps suddenly results in x-ray vision or laser 3rd eye beams.)

Hopefully my thinking and self-untangling out loud will be of some use to somebody; at the very least it can stand as a testament to CF's freaky ability to drag epiphanies out of unsuspecting people with two lines of text.

[Brutton]

Major breakthroughs!

I don't want to throw the party yet because lasts time I thought I had sorted this out, jumped the gun, the effects were short lived and I was back to untangling deeper layers of the problem. So, if these changes are still with me in a month, drinks are on me. Since I know lack of 3E functions is a common complaint, I thought I'd continue explaining the process I'm going through in case it gives anyone else any leads for their own use.

The process:

When CF suggested regular visualization exercises, it provoked an illogically strong reaction. First I went "hey, yeah, duh, that's a really good idea, why didn't I think of that sooner?" But another, strangely very cranky part of me immediately shot back "rawr, screw that, I hate visualization." Larger part of me went ! "I hate visualization"? News to me! So then as all this fell together and I wrote that post last night, my 3rd eye was going a bit nuts... movement and pressure to the point of pain almost, and the beginnings of pre-migraine visuals. Like it was saying "yes! yes! stop hating on me and use me damn you!" So I knew there was going to be no waiting on this internal work, lest my head explode.

I did basically what I said I was going to above. I got my Child archetype, or "inner child" in on it, explained the situation and asked for some help from him, because I figured he'd be an expert on this.

When I went looking for the subconscious source of the aversion (by vibe, tactile and emotional sensing, which is what I've ended up using for most things), I found a structure whose vibe nearly gave me a panic attack as I felt around it. Very ugly, nasty thing that seemed way exaggerated to be based on the simple mistaken belief that visuals weren't important and could be replaced if necessary. The strong impression was that it had "help" to go from a simple emotionally neutral belief, to a very gutteral aversion that was inexplicably revolted by the mere thought of visualizing. Demolished that structure, violet-flamed the rubble, felt much better.

I then encountered the aspect of myself that held the belief, who was in an equally inexplicably very angry, combative, hateful state. The abject hatred I was getting, and how little sense it made in relation to the subject matter, was another clue that this didn't all originate with me. Talking this out was clearly not going to work, so I resorted to amping up my energy, barking orders and telling him how things were going to be from now on. That worked, and he calmed down and dropped the attitude so I could explain the situation, give him some healing and impart some new programming based on loving visualization and appreciating its uses. I felt the vibe and state of this aspect turn very positive and cooperative.

After that, I went through all my chakras. Asked to see any structures feeding the aversion (I was actually getting faint visual impressions by this time), did a bit more demolition. I additionally explained the situation to each chakra with an emphasis on the bottom three, why I wanted to have use of my 3E, why it was detrimental to all my chakras and myself to not have that, and how having my 3E online would make all of their functions easier, more efficient and fun to carry out. I can elaborate on my thoughts on how the 3E functions tie into all the other chakras if anyone wants to do similar, as I think this part is important. I felt things clearing, shifting and lifting from those chakras while doing this.

Finally, I had my solar plexus chakra install some personal boundaries for my 3E and its capabilities, defining it as part of my personal sphere, into which only energy, entities and influences that are aligned with my highest good are permitted to enter and interact.

The results:

The first thing I noticed was that I got really excited and happy about the idea of visualization. When I go to practice now, it feels fun rather than a chore; something I can't get enough of. This of course means the aversion is gone. Hopefully not coming back in any form, but if it does it'll be easily recognizable.

The second thing was that visualizing got a lot easier. (!!!) I could hold images longer, with more detail. I could animate them to an extent, though it's not entirely fluid or lifelike. I could create a scene that is very lifelike and immersive with the exception of the animation. I also found that with the visuals intact, all other senses were boosted; i.e. it's a lot easier to get realistic sounds and tactile sensations when I have something to look at. At one point I created a beach scene and walked around a bit, and heard birds that I wasn't sure whether they were outside this physical house, something I made up, or something that happened internally on its own. The first night's dream recall wasn't much different, although its been picking up more in general lately.

If this keeps up and there are no further "artificial" obstacles, I assume things like realistic movement, ability to hold more detail longer, and the details themselves will fill in with time and practice. Since just plain exercising this is fun and easy, in the interest of keeping it that way I don't think I'll set any specific goals for it for now, and let whatever I eventually "do" with it happen more on its own. Although the possibilities for things like manifestation, AP, enhanced healing work and spirit communication are cool to think about too, I must admit.

All told, I've been practically bouncing with excitement since yesterday. Figuring out what happened to my visuals has been a nagging problem for years now, so to finally feel like I have it back, and have a much better jumping-off point from which to practice than I did yesterday, is really awesome. I just hope it stays that way, and continues improving.

[cemDrymnVem]

Thats great news Pale,

I like the way you systematicly work through this sort of thing. ADD Keeps pushing its ugly head in the way when I try something like this, I rush through it and leave out bits or get frustrated.

Maybe you can hold online classes and focus on removing structures and fixing internal issues. Helping people along the way with your VF. You'd be an enormous help to many people, i'd imagine

[Brutton]

Heh, I've gotten my ADD a lot more under control, though it still comes into play at times. I think the actual major catalyst on this one was that I recently had someone violate a lot of boundaries and do a lot of internal damage in the attempt to "help" without explanation or consent... and I think I finally said "enough!" and blew through this issue in a few days as a way of taking my sovereignty back. Unfortunately, or fortunately, there's no better way to get me hyperfocused and productive than by pissing me off, which probably isn't the healthiest approach evar... but it is what it is, and it's effective if not pleasant.

Thanks for the kudos! I've actually kicked around the idea of offering some sort of e-class, though the details of what sort of material I'd offer and how it could be best presented haven't really coalesced for me yet. So, it's in the "possible future project" pile for now.

Anyway, visuals are still good, although there was a setback in that something unrelated shut down my heart chakra, which took my visual ability down with it. I was like "crap!", thinking it was another prematurely declared victory, but I fixed the heart stuff, raised some energy and the visuals got better again. So I'm getting that it may take a little while to get my system used to incorporating visual sensing, and stabilize everything, including finishing the recovery from the whole "unsolicited help" ordeal.

As for the original vision screen idea, I don't know if I'm going to do that if it turns out I don't have to, though it may come into play later as a way to further refine things and gain more control over the ability, don't know yet.

[Kayakeenemeds]

Heh, I've gotten my ADD a lot more under control, though it still comes into play at times.

Have you tried brainwave entrainment for dealing with that? I've heard that it can be very helpful. I just thought I'd mention it, and it's even kind of vaguely on topic (well, it is audio, even if it's not really sensing).

[Brutton]

I've experimented with brainwave entrainment, though not for that particular thing.

My problem before was that because of all the weird stuff going on in my system, particularly anxiety issues... any change in the tones like some of them do, or especially Bob Monroe's voice (and others that do voiceovers) would make me jump no matter how subtle they were or how low I had the volume. So, I could never get out of that "hyper aware of the physical environment" state that those things are meant to achieve, and thus didn't bother much with them. Although for a time I used to use Boxed Nirvana to meditate most nights if anyone's heard of that one, until my Ipod decided to commit seppuku. *weeps*

With the anxiety stuff gone and especially due to recent breakthroughs, I'm hoping to possibly get back into them soon though. Ironically I think learning to use my fiery male energy more and actually channel it into something rather than having it sitting around putting my system on edge, will probably be what finally allows me to do the "letting go" necessary to get into the various focus states, which I never could before. We shall seeeee...