[VtLe67WR]

Hi, Everyone. This is my first post. I have been an avid reader of Mr. Bruce's books ever since a little after the experiences I'm about to relate from several years ago. Then just recently I read PPSD and got to thinking "I wonder if he's got a website?". What a wonderful surprise! I had no idea I'd find such a supportive and thriving community.

These experiences happened more than 15 years ago, but I still think about them and feel that their intensity has something to do with the fading of OBEs over the intervening years. I'm hoping you can offer some additional perspective, as I have found a few of my own and tend to waver between these as far as what to make of the experiences.

A little backstory

A few days before the spontaneous OBEs I'd been sitting looking into a large mirror. I focused on my eyes and went into a trance state. I wondered about that spark I saw in my eyes. It was me, but also not me... As I thought about this I seemingly approached Source (God) and ha a conversation with it. I learned that it needed me as much as I needed it --the parts of the whole and the whole with its parts-- and it was very glad I'd stopped by for a chat.

After this experience I was still sitting on the floor and got to feeling out around me. I could feel beyond the walls and started thinking If only i could see through the walls; if only walls didn't exist and have to break up everything into these rectangular compartments.

That night as I was lying in bed I said a prayer of sorts. It went something like "Dear God, my Higher Self, my Brain even, whichever part is listening and may be able to assist me... I want to be able to see more than my limits currently allow." I reasoned that fear of the unknown was probably one of the most powerful limiters, so I threw in another bit about how if overcoming my fear was necessary, I was ready to deal with that.

Spontaneous OBE

This same (or nearly same) experience happened several times. I'd be lying in bed and as soon as I slipped hypnagogic I became paralyzed (sleep/waking paralysis) and I felt a tingling in my third eye area. This tingling would build and tickle until I almost couldn't stand it. Then it would pulse. It felt very much like an implosion. This happened rhythmically --building, building, PULSE-- over and over, faster and faster, until POP! I was in a different place.

I could feel/see in all directions around me as I flew through a voidlike realm. I say voidlike, but there was obviously various clouds and concentrations of energy all around, with large space between them. I tested the feel/sight by extending it farther around me and picked up on a large concentration. Immediately I could tell it was another being so I zipped right over to it.

Right next to the being was a doorway of some kind. I couldn't *see* it, I just knew it was there; I could Feel it. The entity communicated with me telepathically. It said, "This is where you want(ed) to go." Then after a pause it added (as an afterthought, it seemed), "but you may not be able to come back". I knew it meant back to my usual daily life, but not exactly what it meant by saying that. Why was it warning me?

As I lingered there pondering my options, I suddenly felt a strong pull. My first thought was that the entity was pulling me and trying to force me through the doorway. I fought to resist the pulling. It got stronger and stronger. I have never felt a sensation like this: that I was fighting for my very soul. At some point I was feeling exhausted and that I couldn't hold out any longer, but I had to. Then it stopped and POOF! I was back in my body, in bed. I jumped up and paced around trying to get my head around what had happened.

For a period of a few weeks this would happen several times. Some times along with the pulsing sensation I would hear old 1930s music as though coming through an old radio. I also began experimenting with the pulsing energy. I noticed that I could will the next pulse to happen, and that doing so sped up the building-to-pulse process. It got to where it didn't tickle unbearably, but just felt very good.

The same struggle part also happened on each successive doorway OBE. It got to where I was scared to go to sleep because of the struggle part and also because the paralysis was not pleasant. I'd feel myself slip toward paralysis and I'd force my body to move and stay up all night to avoid the paralysis and spontaneous OBEs.

Then one night I decided why not? I'd just go through the door. But this time when I got to the other frequency I flew over to the location where I'd met the entity and doorway but neither one was there. So I pointed myself in the direction toward where the doorway had been and kept going until I ran up against an energy barrier. It sort of hummed and bounced me back when I bumped against it. I gave it a good couple of tries, flying farther away and zooming at it, but it only bounced me back that much harder.

Then these OBEs stopped happening.

Some of my takes on these experiences

My gut was sure the struggle was the entity trying to pull me through the doorway, but afterward I thought maybe I was still dealing with my own fear about going to some other/unknown place. Here's where the internal debate builds. But why did the entity force me when I was fine with sitting a moment to think about the options? Then it occurred to me that perhaps my fear of that unknown caused a feedback reaction from some aspect more body-side of the spectrum, which caused the pulling sensation. Maybe the pulling was just returning to my body. It makes sense to me that consciously traveling through the layers back to my body from one so far removed could feel like the thick, hard struggle I'd experienced. It even made sense that toward the end it started feeling so much more impossible --the closer and more enmeshed in denser reality I got. I also had a theory that perhaps these experiences were a sort of acting out my reservations about OBE altogether, that it was more of an internal (I realize that 'higher' realms are more internal, but I guess I'm saying more of an internal mindscape, similar to the one where I can see all my knowledge in interconnecting balls of info) realm where I was acting out deciding if I wanted to have OBEs and the doorway might be a doorway to more of a realtime OBE type of experience.

I did go on to have a couple of shorter OBEs where I was in my room and could see everything giving of its own glow. Everything was much brighter than normal and everywhere I looked cast light in that direction, as though there were a soft spotlight behind my head aimed forward. I also experienced dual consciousness and a bit of the fear talked about in AD when I first sensed the 'other me'. Sometimes when I was lying in bed paralyzed I could see a concentration of energy. Then I would be the energy, seeing the room as mentioned above, then --back and forth, with brief moments of dual consciousness.

So it seems the doorway OBE was a build up to the others. But the pulling sensation and battle is what still bothers me. It was the worst feeling I've ever experienced. I hadn't even ever thought of things in terms of 'souls', yet in the moment of battle, I knew I was fighting for my very being / my soul. At the time I didn't have any thought or worries about negative entities and such, but since I've had some experiences along these lines and I can't completely put the thought to rest that perhaps I was dealing with some kind of neg trying to lure me somewhere I really didn't want to go. Maybe this is thinking about it too much, but I wonder about the 'or whoever is listening and can help me' portion of the prayer that started all the doorway OBEs.

I'd really appreciate some perspectives from others. Thanks for reading this far

[Dyerryjex]

Your experiences are similar to how mine started (not really started, I've been projecting since childhood, but when I was in my early thirties I made a similar request and some months later these 'forced' experiences started).
I fought them and fought them and when I connected them to astral projection and learned to induce them (I had previously been a spontaneous projector) is when I learned to take control.
I have never been sure if I was the 'victim' of an astral abduction, or if my request was taken 'overly literally' and forced, but whatever the explanation is, once I learned to control them the forced exits stopped, and a whole world of experiences have opened up for me.
Not really giving you any answers, but insight so you know that the way your experiences started aren't unheard of.

[VtLe67WR]

Hi, CFTraveler. It's very helpful to know that others have had similar experiences. I too had some childhood projections but never knew that's what they were. -- I remember a few occasions where I was spinning and spinning while lying in bed, until THUMP! I thought I'd rolled out of bed and landed on the floor. I was so scared I wouldn't open my eyes for several minutes. When I did I was still in my bed. --guess now it's quite clear what happened there.

Even when the doorway experiences happened it took me a while to connect them --ohhh, could this be what people call 'out of body experience'?. I suppose like many people think, the popular idea is that OBE is floaty experiences around some recognizable area of one's house or whatever.

Anyway, it is very reaffirming to know that you had similar experiences. Have you journaled about your similar experiences? It would be interesting to read.

Peace

[Dyerryjex]

Yes, they're in here somewhere a few years ago. If I have time I'll get you some links (not a lot, I didn't write everything down for public consumption. If not just look for the oldest posts I've made. You can go to 'advanced search' and look for any topics by me that are old.

[VtLe67WR]

Yes, they're in here somewhere a few years ago. If I have time I'll get you some links (not a lot, I didn't write everything down for public consumption. If not just look for the oldest posts I've made. You can go to 'advanced search' and look for any topics by me that are old.

Will do. Thanks much!

[VtLe67WR]

I was just sitting here thinking about various near death experiences I've read over the years. Many of these accounts refer to being met by a being who asks some version of, "Have you accomplished what you came here to do?" . . . in some the question is "Did you love?" or "Do you feel you've done your best to extend kindness to others?" or more bluntly, "What have you accomplished?". This being met by an entity who refers to the state of one's life seems similar to the above experiences of mine. Could it be that the barrier I encountered is the same barrier we cross at death? Perhaps when one sets out to cross that barrier (rather than death making it necessary), the 'question' comes out more like the simple statement and implying of options: This is where you want to go (but I must point out that coming back may not be as simple as crossing the barrier back this way again).

Maybe the 'but you might not be able to get back [here]' implies simply that there are so many frequencies/dimensions to which we can travel, that finding this one is like a needle in the haystack, as it were, or even that one may not want to return to this one specific domain.

[steevyjeors]

i would love an astral abduction.. im so sick of this world im ready for any kind of change.

[Dyerryjex]

Let me tell you 'ask and you shall receive'. Wanting something like that may backfire for you. Trust me on this, you may be sorry you said that....

[Broorbbub]

[quote]I was just sitting here thinking about various near death experiences I've read over the years. Many of these accounts refer to being met by a being who asks some version of, "Have you accomplished what you came here to do?" . . . in some the question is "Did you love?" or "Do you feel you've done your best to extend kindness to others?" or more bluntly, "What have you accomplished?". This being met by an entity who refers to the state of one's life seems similar to the above experiences of mine. Could it be that the barrier I encountered is the same barrier we cross at death? Perhaps when one sets out to cross that barrier (rather than death making it necessary), the 'question' comes out more like the simple statement and implying of options: This is where you want to go (but I must point out that coming back may not be as simple as crossing the barrier back this way again).

Maybe the 'but you might not be able to get back [here]' implies simply that there are so many frequencies/dimensions to which we can travel, that finding this one is like a needle in the haystack, as it were, or even that one may not want to return to this one specific domain.

[VtLe67WR]

i would love an astral abduction.. im so sick of this world im ready for any kind of change.

Let me tell you 'ask and you shall receive'. Wanting something like that may backfire for you. Trust me on this, you may be sorry you said that....

I must agree with CFTraveler on this. I mean that's not to say that asking for something like that will have negative effects, but may turn out to be very intense, more than you'd bargained for. That's how I felt after my experiences anyway --not that I wish I hadn't asked for what I had, but it made me consider my exact wording of intent. Honestly, I even think the part about adding in that I could handle dealing with a larger dose of fear may have made it more 'earth shattering' than the experiences had to be in order to have the same general effect of new found frontier.

I would say choose your wording carefully and then ask away if you truly want to experience the something new you implied in your post. ...'abduction' for example, to me, seems quite strong. That said, maybe you're the type of person who enjoys learning in larger doses. We're all different. I, for one, have always tended to take big leaps in taking on new things and usually this is great for me, but sometimes it ends up being more of a 2 steps forward, 1 step back type of thing, for the intensity and having to resort all my bits.

But yeah, in my experiences I've found that intent, and even specific words said in passing come back to manifest my experiences.

Thanks for posting!

[VtLe67WR]

First let me say that I loved your introspective evaluation of this experience. It is in itself a priceless example of reflective thinking.

My experience with the doorway and my understanding about it may be of interest to you. I have always been telepathically connected to my higher-self with many conversations over the years. They feel very much like what you described with your other self. With me I would play games with various insights I received from Me. Kind of like trial and error evaluations with various choices I could make. They involved comparing logical choices with intuitive ones. I never really thought about who this Me was however my experience with Me was a natural everyday realitry that I used in various ways.

Once I started to channel, I encounter this doorway kind of thing. It appeared I needed to be more receptive to the being I was speaking with. These are imagined conversations with another being. I have always been able to feel various levels of comfort from these experiences. Yet my understanding about what was happening was very limited. So I always went through the door to that higher vibrational awareness. That was my initial understanding and feeling. Once I passed through the door, my clarity of understanding increased substantially. Even today I joke about that clarity and how I would like to take it back with me into my 3D reality. Fragments of understanding do return with me but not the evolved perspective I have when I am on the other side of that door.

My conclusion and my understanding is that this door is consent to connect with your higher-self. Once you accept the responsability of expanding your reality perceptions to include aspects of your higher-self, you can never go back to thinking or feeling you are seperate from your higher-self. The experience itself is locked into your daily reality and your physical energy systems. The other Me is always a part of everything I think or do.

At this point I have integrated that Me and the other Me's you have mentioned in your experience. I have found them to be other aspects of my grander self. As I see it, they reflect the wide and diverse aspects of my subconscious self. I see them as my divine feminine principals and my higher-self as the divine masculine. Some aspect in your subconscious was pushing you and another aspect was holding you back. These conflicts of interest are energetic points of awareness that focus on very specific concerns or perspectives. Great success can be achieved by accepting and loving all that you are.

Eventually I found it necessary for me to love my higher-self and my various subconscious awarenesses with all my heart and soul. Those who can read my energy can see how strong it is. The reason my energy is powerful is self love.

I hope my views on your experience are helpful.

John

Hi, John,

Thank you so much for your insight --both very interesting and helpful.

I very much enjoy reflective thinking and introspection. It's nice to hear from someone who seems to be wired similarly in that regard. --Not only by contrast , but it seems the last several years (young adult hood having swept me up for some time) have brought with them many people in my life who say things like 'you think too much'. Being that I consider everything, and kept hearing that message... it seems I've taken a long dip in cynicism without really realizing it--guess it's the nature of cynicism to discount more-subjective experiences.

That said, I feel like most of my life I've had no doubt of my higher self and trust it to help manifest the experiences I want/need in life, but I can't say that I feel like this is a daily, direct interaction, it's more like a certainty I know is behind everything, a memory. I have some very clear memories of hearing my higher self in early childhood describing the parameters of this reality ('realitry', I like that ) and on into teenage years with the info messages being more about the social constructs of this reality. It seems that along with the pressure from parents and the world I sort of decided that the stopping of the OBE experiences was a predetermined dip into the meat of this reality // a temporary thing, but necessary. Interesting that some of my takes on the doorway-struggle-before-returning-to-body were "it's the Fall, whoa, I can say I know what it feels like".

I was very excited to read your account of what is on the other side of the doorway you experienced. I'm also curious about the game you mentioned trying out logical versus intuitive choices. Hmmm, it seems I have a strong connection with the logical messages but my intuitive trusting has taken a beating more recently --having not listened to that one and negative things happened, as well as the opposite, to where I wasn't sure which to listen to for some time.

Kind of all over the place here, apologies...

so I started working on spoken (at least in my head) intent to interact with my higher self, more recently. I get a feel for what you mean, as in channeling being decidedly tuning into one's higher self (as opposed to the tidbits that float to my mind here and there). Would this be accurate? I'm wondering if you could elaborate on 'channeling' a bit more. ?

I've also been thinking about how I have received everything I 'have', whether my books, my cat, love...or my connection with my higher self. Along with your last paragraph about loving your higher self, I find this to be very relevant info. . . I have a good amount of confidence (to put a quick label on it), yet I can see now how truly loving and being open to receive interaction with my higher self is a whole new degree to the self-love angle.

Thanks for sharing!!

[Dyerryjex]

[quote]Maybe the 'but you might not be able to get back [here]' implies simply that there are so many frequencies/dimensions to which we can travel, that finding this one is like a needle in the haystack, as it were, or even that one may not want to return to this one specific domain.

[Broorbbub]

I was very excited to read your account of what is on the other side of the doorway you experienced. I'm also curious about the game you mentioned trying out logical versus intuitive choices. Hmmm, it seems I have a strong connection with the logical messages but my intuitive trusting has taken a beating more recently --having not listened to that one and negative things happened, as well as the opposite, to where I wasn't sure which to listen to for some time.

Hi,

It seems as if I have been trained to reject conventional wisdom and apply my own intuitive insights on a great many subjects. I was led to appreciate that instincts and intuitive knowing are higher than logical reasoning. I am quite good at logical things. I am ranked internationally in chess so I know how to move the pieces. So for me it was necessary to integrate the logical with the intuitive. My logical side needs to be comfortable with my imagination. This is a balance you will not find in many people I think. The clarity of thought I can demonstrate is a result of that integration of logic with instinct. So those various games that were played were visualized outcomes from examining a logical choice, making that choice, and observing that my instinct was correct and that my logic was flawed. I can not count the times I have done this. I learned that for me it was better to trust my feelings and be wrong than to trust my logic and be correct. It goes back to the self love thing. Encourage with love my intuitive side for it always has the greater understanding.


Kind of all over the place here, apologies...

so I started working on spoken (at least in my head) intent to interact with my higher self, more recently. I get a feel for what you mean, as in channeling being decidedly tuning into one's higher self (as opposed to the tidbits that float to my mind here and there). Would this be accurate? I'm wondering if you could elaborate on 'channeling' a bit more. ? I would say that you have the right idea. Our mind is filled with all kinds of properganda. Advertising to sell tooth paste. Political and social norms along with the beliefs of loved ones. The scope of thoughts from our subconscious can itself be mindboggeling. As a result I can be found asking myself, where did that thought come from? At that moment the higher self is on notice. No special channeling is necessary. Start the dialogue. HS: You have ... about that. Then you ask, can I have some insight about that (no guilt, no apoligy). HS: You receive specific insight you will never get without asking.

I've also been thinking about how I have received everything I 'have', whether my books, my cat, love...or my connection with my higher self. Along with your last paragraph about loving your higher self, I find this to be very relevant info. . . I have a good amount of confidence (to put a quick label on it), yet I can see now how truly loving and being open to receive interaction with my higher self is a whole new degree to the self-love angle.

Thanks for sharing!! Life is about love. Until you live your human life for divine purposes, instead of expecting the divine to service the human concerns, you will miss that greater knowledge about the true nature of love. Once you do, everyone in your life will be loved by you consciousally. That will impact everyone you know and come in contact with. Their subconscious will always know that one little aspect about you. You will be blessed in all that you do.

John

[VtLe67WR]

[quote] Originally Posted by ecitsretni Maybe the 'but you might not be able to get back [here]' implies simply that there are so many frequencies/dimensions to which we can travel, that finding this one is like a needle in the haystack, as it were, or even that one may not want to return to this one specific domain. I knew what I couldn't know and saw the distance become zero, to the ego it was a blissful insanity, I laughed and laughed. --could only hold in mind that commune for so long. The doorway threshold then was meeting in more neutral territory where I could understand without stretching my poor dense brain to its logical limits.

Many thanks

[VtLe67WR]

Life is about love. Until you live your human life for divine purposes, instead of expecting the divine to service the human concerns, you will miss that greater knowledge about the true nature of love. Once you do, everyone in your life will be loved by you consciousally. That will impact everyone you know and come in contact with. Their subconscious will always know that one little aspect about you. You will be blessed in all that you do.

Words, and what's more, Perspective to live by. Thanks, again, John.

[Dyerryjex]

Much obliged.