[Apparpsmose]

They're not sensational but they've occasionally yielded an insight.

Saturday 1st March, 2008

I'm using rhythm napping and I go to H's bed at 3am because he's on a sleep over. I read some OBE matter on the net for an hour. It's a bit hard to get back to sleep but last time, when I dispensed with the reading and lay quietly in bed for an hour, I didn't think to OBE when I gained insight into my situation. I'm really tired so that very few of the beeps register after I do nod off.

At some point I'm dreaming a false awakening and I'm aware it's a false awakening but not lucid enough to do anything with the situation.

I hear a "radio", like last time, I listen carefully to ascertain whether it's real or dreamt. It appears to make sense. It's Triple J and the music is something familiar that I don't know the name of. There is, however, no radio in H's room. I fumble around trying to hit the snooze button.

L, a lovely girl who started with me at this new job, comes into the room playing classical guitar. It doesn't sound bad. I don't question her presence. Now S, a sweet guy who also started when we did, sits near me on the bed and I show him what I'm writing in my dream diary. It's the dream I've just finished having:

]My "mother" is giving me new clothes. They're tops of different designs and I really love them.
Some are long-sleeved and some short-sleeved. They're in patterns and plains and in a range of
colours. I'm amazed that all this is for me and the other "children" are similarly endowed. "Mother"
is a large, brown-skinned woman. "Father's" name is "Gustav". I explain to S that this is a pun for
"Good stuff." I ask father where we got the money for all the new clothes and he says it's because
we traded away the old stuff.
Now I'm writing "Gustav" on my husband's neck or head (he shaves his head)- I think this is because
I saw him write a reminder on his hand earlier in the day. It's now that I attain lucidity. I'm not sure
if the timer beeped or not.

The dream scene disappears and I'm in blackness. I don't want to waste the opportunity like I did last time. I lie still within myself but I feel urgency to act so I will myself out of body and begin to float upwards. There's something wrong with my attitude, though. It's not fear but lack of confidence in my ability to succeed. Sure enough, I slam back.

My later dreams continue the motifs of wealth, luxury, gifts, abundance and groups of people with a party atmosphere.

[Apparpsmose]

Friday 28th March, 2008

Woke too early. Tossed and turned with tortured thoughts. After about an hour of this I checked the clock: 4.33am. Decided it was time for some self-discipline. Entered meditative state after a couple of false starts.

Felt an infusion of energy coming from my left side. This felt charged and like particles. It helped me relax and focus. It felt like it had a personality. I wondered this morning if it was a reintegration of soul fragment.

Must have dozed. Became aware while floating about a metre and a half above my body. Just stayed there. Too tired to do anything else and it felt pleasant. Eventually began dreaming.

Found myself at the calistemon in a planting box on the front verandah of the home where I was raised. This has been one of my set targets for lucid dreaming but I don't feel I was particularly lucid at the point of finding it.

[Apparpsmose]

Sunday March 30th,2008

H had a sleepover birthday party so I used his bed for rhythm napping. Slept in my own bed until I woke naturally around 3.19am. Stomach unwell. Read a bit, ate a banana, drank half a glass of milk and returned to sleep after an hour.

Became aware. Decided to float out and began to. Then I changed my mind and thought an internal, lucid dream type projection would be better. Suddenly, I’m accosted. Something begins tickling me. It's unpleasant and annoying but I’m not at all afraid. I believe the intention is to restrict me and it’s working because while I’m struggling with this thing that’s also holding me down, I’m not exploring. I guess it succeeds this first time because I don’t recall any further adventure.

I dream something that I tell myself to remember but I can’t recall it now. I don’t think it was important.

A little later I’m again aware. Before I even contemplate what to do the tickler is back. This time I’m ready for it and there’s a struggle. I sense that it’s made of particles. What felt like fingers now seems to be a kind of charge. Again, I’m annoyed rather than afraid. I throw it off and there’s no pursuit. I’m heading upstairs through the dining room and living area. Now I wonder if I’m really doing so physically. It’s still dark and I have no vision so I could actually be physically journeying through my house (at least if I ignore the fact that there’d be moonlight through the skylight). Just in case I’m out of body, I've decided to go fast to get away from my physical body. As soon as I contemplate whether I’m physical or astral, I begin to float. I’m in the laundry floating above the stairs. I'm beginning to attain vision. There's some light.

Now a dream kicks in. I’m young again and sleeping in the same room I'm in physically. A lawn mower wakes me up. It’s way too early for such things. S and J, my brother and sister come into my room. They’re talking but I’m silent. I know I’m not a kid anymore and that this isn’t the house we grew up in (therefore I'm to some degree lucid but playing along, I guess). I wonder who sleeps in what room. J and S are discussing the lawn mower, talking about how much trouble these neighbours have been. Mum and Dad come in. I wonder if they are still married.

As I wrote this I remembered that I had read about a tickling entity that had arrested somebody else’s early adventures and, sure enough, I found the post on another site. I wonder if it was a thought form I manifested as a result of being unwell in the tummy since that's where I was tickled. It occurred to me too that I woke up without a tummy ache so I ask myself if some type of energetic blockage had been cleared.

[Keyclenef]

Maybe an aspect of yourself wanted you to use your energy to work on that instead of going off exploring 'outer reality'?