[Faungarne]

Hello there,

When I was seventeen, I had an interesting experience happen to me. I was trying some relaxation/yoga exercises before going to bed, and as usual was falling asleep. Except that there was something different about it this time. I'm guessing I wasn't all the way asleep, and right before my physical body gave way, my mind woke up. I felt intense and warm electric vibrations come over me from legs upwards, my mind felt unbelievably clear, and thinking just didn't occur to me. I remember this very well - I could consciously not think. It's kind of hard to describe, but my mind seemed to be separate from me, as well as my body. It was like looking at a bowl of soup and consciously choosing not to stir it. So as the vibrations were coming up my legs into my torso, my heart started to pulse VERY intensely. It wasn't my physical heart, because it felt a lot more in the center rather than to the left. And by VERY intensely I mean REALLY REALLY VERY INTENSELY! I have never felt anything like that before. The whole body was engulfed by the "vibrations" and was pulsing. I was actually an energy body that expanded/exploded and kept pulsing and growing, while the physical body was shrinking and laying there like some kind of dead shell. All of a sudden (still with intense vibrations and my heart pulsing like crazy) I realized that I could see through my eyelids, and not just that, but that I could see all around me and the same time! And not just seeing, I could FEEL everything around me. Everything felt very fluid, alive and was radiating different kinds of energy. I was able to tell what a chair felt like, and the table, window and the fish drawn on my wall. Everything was radiant and alive. My usual physical world seemed like some gray, boring, pointless dream. I raised the right hand of my energetic/vibrantion body and swiftly pressed the wall next to me, seeing how energy was flowing from that spot in ripples, much like a stone tossed into a pond (that's standing up vertically). At this point I got very excited, and I my physical mind started to wake up with all it's patterns. With that, an immense fear came all over me, and I was terribly afraid of my heart exploding. I tried to move my body and put my physical arm to my heart to check if it's actually beating this fast! (It's hard to estimate the beat rate in a rather timeless place, but if I had to, it would be something like 10-15 beats a second). But of course I could not move my physical body - it was paralyzed, because I wasn't in it, and the fear got even worse. I pushed down all of the vibrations, feelings and vision rapidly vanished, and I jumped into an upright position (physically now) with my hand slamming into my heart and tears pouring down from my eyes. My physical heart was beating rather slowly.

This was the first experience that completely changed my life, and other transformational experiences followed, though I never again consciously went out of my body.

Love & Light,
Andrey.

[DuePew]

Cool, Andrey. What you felt were heart chakra sensations (I still get them very intensely) and got astral sight. Have you seen the "Early Exit Symptoms" section in the AD pedia? You will find them very familiar, lol.

[Faungarne]

Thanks, yes, the heart chakra is especially interesting. I've actually read through Astral Dynamics after the experience, and it was very interesting to see what I had gone through written in plain text. Something that is obviously natural, but completely ignored by any literature that I grew up with.

I've been thinking lately about why I wasn’t able to project since that time. To project is really not the main issue here, it is more about getting in touch with deeper parts of myself, and projection becomes available sort of as a side-effect (not to diminish it’s wonder). So in my meditations and in my daily life I’m hitting the same block that underlies all of my struggles. I’ve been discovering that fear and desire come from the same place, and that I end up in the same place from both of them. I have a pattern that tries to deny fears and desires. In my meditations, when I come to the threshold of shifting my awareness from my physical body to deeper states, a moment later a desire comes up that is very excited about it and wants to explore it deeper. It is a very deep and passionate desire that I have, and I suppress it. I try to ignore it. Actually, I end up suppressing it even more, because last time that happened, the desire threw me back into my “normal” state of mind. So I’m afraid that it will do the same. Fear of desire, hah! I love it, totally insane!

It's been very interesting to explore this - there are so many layers of awareness.

Love & Light,
Andrey.