[unatkot]

hello,
aside from frustrations w/ AD I had a spontaneous sleep paralysis episode last night. (this usually leads to some kind of projection) my girlfriend left at 4am for the airport and woke me to say goodbye. shortly after she left i found myself thinking (while sleeping, dreaming or whatever was happening... that i wanted to relive being born... yup... it's weird but I was thinking it, for what reason i don't know. i instantly felt the "sinking" sensation and began to feel heavy and not have any mobile abilities. I got scared and willed it to stop and that was the end of it. I HATE THAT!! Gees I try so hard to get this to happen and when it does I will it to stop. I now remember not really realizing in the moment that I should GO WITH IT... just wanted to share.

[usaguedriedax]

When I add this post to 'Motivation Waning' I can't help wondering if you're a bit conflicted.

Conflicts come about when the conscious mind wants something but underlying thoughts or subconscious controls would much prefer it not to happen. It could be something from your past or maybe just a consideration you hold, but I think somewhere there, you have either an assumption or a lie being held in place & it is preventing you form achieving the things you've been trying for.

Try imagining someone telling you they've just had an OBE; what is your immediate reaction at gut level? Do you doubt? Disbelieve? Think they are a sinner? Is it evil? Maybe a bit weird? Try to ID your emotion/thought as you think of them telling you - it can give clues as to what the assumption might be.

If that doesn't work, try imagining yourself having an OBE... Is it fear you feel that shuts you off? Do you 'hear' someone telling you something that prevents you doing it? (if so, try to ID the voice - just who is telling you can be informative)

Somewhere there will be a clue to why you back away from something you want so much.

[unatkot]

yes I think sometimes I really fear OBE, other times not. I do feel as though my curiosity and hunger for control over OBEs if stronger than that fear which keeps me frustrated as to what's stopping me.