[ChexEcodece]

I seem to have lost the ability to recall my dreams. It's probably because i want to die often. If there's any way i could overcome this 'powerful' emotion, i really must know. I'm clinging tight to the belief that my physical life bears amazing power, (somehow i just think of power when i think of life, not my actual body) And i've realised something. I'm not thanking my opponents; however it's only in my thoughts of death that i become ever so closer to understanding life itself. Don't worry, i'm not dead yet, but i now know that beyond the point of depression you feel things, incredible emotions like a gateway of understanding. For instance, it was once that if someone asked; "why do you listen to the music you do" And now i can reply, because only when i listen to metal and rock i can literally feel intensely the blood pumping around my body. Life itself seems to become stronger, the fact that loud and hard noises represent some form of strength show the true power of life. I really don't know why i'm telling you this; but i've realised beyond this emotion i understand what i want to do and how i can accomplish this.

I'm not offending those who like me have once thought of killing themselves, i'm saying it takes guts to kill yourself. However i will not, and it also takes a great amount of willpower to live on. And that only behind emotions your mind can allow you to learn such things. This is probably why certain memories are blocked out due to a certain emotion warning the mind. I really ought to thank you guys. You're nothing like anyone else i know. Everyone on this forum who i've encountered via a post has something to say about their lives, and help others, and i'm sure that whatever has brought everyone here is for excellent reason. Maybe if i never spoke to various people via the internet, those who have also something in common with me to some extent, my life would be MEGA screwed at this point. I thank you greatly for reading my post, and proving that if you reply i know that at least some part of you cares about people like me. I have genuinely just changed my thoughts; just by 'posting a thread'. Such a great emotion can be overcome by speaking to other people about it.

Ps: Leaving this thread in this forum is for good reason. You may disagree, but as i said you can only realise or agree to certain things through various emotions. I.e if you're stressed you can't relax, if you just think, oh crap i'm stressed it won't be good. So you should really all gain an insight to what lies behind you're emotions. Maybe people are the keys to unlocking, and locking alike these feelings and what lies ahead. This post is probably pointless, but i still feel strongly about it and think that you should read it, hoping you'll learn something afterward.

[Sukadrukanga]

Sadly, prematurely ending your lffe does not work. You simply come back for another round :cry:

To live is to endure. Why did I set things up that way??

Anyway, this how you decided to learn about yourself, so try to enjoy your journey.

[ChexEcodece]

Yeah, i also believe in reincarnation. The endless cycle of life, and you'll never know what hit you, because you have to sacrifice your physical memory in order to live on. But i have a strange combination idea that you can just wander with your soul endlessly until you wish to part for the physical world.

[PlanTaleks]

Hmm...Karma, reincarnation, circle of life.

This is a hard thing to sum up in a few forum posts. But in my opinion we keep reincarnating until we have become complete souls. I mean I think I am nearly there (Not trying to sound big headed) But I have had like 833 past lives so I am pretty experienced with life. I think (I HOPE) I am on the last legs of existance in the physical because frankly I am getting a littledepressed. iam getting feelings of "Been here; Done that" and it gets old you know. Really old.

Who else has had loads of past lives??

[desmond001]

Darkrealmz wrote:
This post is probably pointless, but i still feel strongly about it and think that you should read it, hoping you'll learn something afterward. I don't think it's pointless- I just hope that you can gain enough insight into the universe enough to ride out the bad parts so you can begin to enjoy (more) the good parts. And they will come. And I agree that when you feel close to death you gain more insight about life- the trick is to use it to your survival, and for the accomplishment of what you were ultimately meant to do here, once you can wade out of the overwhelming emotions that life bring.

[ChexEcodece]

Hmm...Karma, reincarnation, circle of life.

This is a hard thing to sum up in a few forum posts. But in my opinion we keep reincarnating until we have become complete souls. I mean I think I am nearly there (Not trying to sound big headed) But I have had like 833 past lives so I am pretty experienced with life. I think (I HOPE) I am on the last legs of existance in the physical because frankly I am getting a littledepressed. iam getting feelings of "Been here; Done that" and it gets old you know. Really old.

Who else has had loads of past lives??

I've never been to a hypnotist, or a regression specialist, however i find it very interesting so i'd like to find out. I really doubt there's any in my area, and the fact that you've had lots of past lives shows me you've probably hypnotised yourself because i don't believe any hypnotist would have the patience to do so.

[thighikergove]

That's a very interesting view of what happens with souls between lives, that we don't have to keep reliving everything over and over if we choose not to.

I read something about how it's not our place to end another's life - how it ends what they came here for. It really made me think hard about the Death Penalty.

But I've also read materials where they talk about 'soul contracts' and how murder victims (and such) agree to be such victims in order to fulfill contracts and allow themselves that learning lesson...

I don't know. I could see that possibility, but suicide seems a little different. Can you make a 'contract' to end your own life at a certain point?

[thighikergove]

Thanks for sharing what you've discovered...

There is a balancing of energy because we want it for the ultimate growth of our soul. But, it's not always a direct form of karma. For example, if I murdered someone in a past life, I might not be the victim of murder in this one. Instead, I might choose to be the close family member, or even spouse, of a murder victim.

This validates what I have experienced in some of my own past life memories. It's also interesting that I have found that when I've worked through my 'issues' with past life experiences, I can't bring forth any more past life memories unless I discover a new 'issue' for me to learn from.

Thanks for replying, you put what I 'know' into very simple terms.

[Idorsearogele]

Painter,

I had an interesting experience last night that directly relates to what you mean about being here to 'experience' not 'learn'.

I had an astral meeting last night with some of my guides. I was badgering them about some energy work that I've been doing lately - was it what I need to do, was it part of my mission, was I on the right track... I kept getting the same line as always "if that's what you want to do, great". And somehow I asked the right question the RIGHT WAY. They corroborated what you said - I'm not here to learn anything. I chose to come back here for the experience. I chose to come back to be in some karmic situations for others' benefits. I decided to be a mother to my children to be a teacher for them.

So there is no 'big mission'. There is no 'wrong path'. It's like the saying "it's all gravy". I didn't have to come back. I don't have anything that I MUST accomplish. For me, it's what I want to get out of it, what I want to do. This all wraps into me helping people. I'm drawn over and over into helping people.

Amazingly, this took a weight off my shoulders. It's like in college when you're told that you've done all the required classes and now you can just take elective classes.

[thighikergove]

Oh you are so right about that "when someone ticks me off" part.... I just had a big "kick in the pants"... I've been working to position myself into a transition for a few months now and I'm getting the ol' Maybe we can let you go by the end of June... blah blah blah. And they just announced someone else's move (a team member of mine) that could be completed in less than 10 days. And the big kicker is that I was just talking to my boss who could have given me a heads-up before the announcement but didn't.

[ChexEcodece]

That's a very interesting view of what happens with souls between lives, that we don't have to keep reliving everything over and over if we choose not to.

I read something about how it's not our place to end another's life - how it ends what they came here for. It really made me think hard about the Death Penalty.

But I've also read materials where they talk about 'soul contracts' and how murder victims (and such) agree to be such victims in order to fulfill contracts and allow themselves that learning lesson...

I don't know. I could see that possibility, but suicide seems a little different. Can you make a 'contract' to end your own life at a certain point?

No. When you commit suicide, I've realised that your physical mind overpowers the everso slight memory of your soul. You see the souls actual power is incredible, it can overpower the body at times. But if your intelligence overpowers that of the soul, you can kill yourself. I might need to explain this more thoroughly.
The soul is the one in charge of your body, however when you make actual decisions it's of your mind or soul. Like they say, do what's in your heart, not your brain. I'd hate to say this, but souls are like the ultimate parasites. They have to take over a body to physically exist, or to manifest in the real world. So when you kill yourself, or have thoughts of killing yourself; Your soul will send an incredible message to your brain, whereas some will ignore this, resulting in death. The message is the one that says, for instance in my case, you must exist James you will not succeed in anything if you die. I saw some kind of weird vision, indescrible and probably invisible, but i felt it within.
If you ever leave this life intentionally, your soul will punish your physical existence (The next life, according to Hindu's or those who believe in reincarnation) And because your previous intelligence is supposedly aborted (Self-sacrifice must be done in order to succeed in anything to some extent) It would feel like bad karma if it were someone elses knowledge.

It's probably like a miscarriage, I'd hate to bring this up, but many women who've experienced such a tragedy feel so depressed, as if the childs soul had aborted one final message.
Note that this is all my idea, I haven't copied anyones idea, and it's just a theory, as any other. It's like anything to do with death, assuming a murder, the victims soul will abort a physical message, like an act of final defense to punish the killer.