[Yartonbler]

He was stopped at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter and U.S. Marine Guard. "Why you stoppin' me?" cried the old cowboy. "Boy, we have issues to be resolved," said St Peter, branishing a long list of the old cowboy's sins and transgressions. "We have a long list of sins that you bragged about on a public forum. Sins like gamblin'. drinkin', bar room brawlin', breakin' your weddin' vows and hangin' out in honkey tonks. You said that you were a smuggler, a skirt-chaser, a pimp and a violator of game and fish laws. You took other folk's accomplishments and claimed them for your own. You bragged about sirin' children out of Holy Wedlock. You advocated shootin' folks, usin' high explosives and beatin' up on women. You adulterated the Holy Scriptures by usin' 'em as gamblin' devices. You even said you had been up here before..........Boy, you see any revolvin' doors on them Pearly Gates? All in all you just been horrible but during all this sinnin' you did profess to be a Christian and that does cover a lot of ground around here. Based on that profession of faith, we gonna let you in ifin' you was ever brave and chivalrous during your lifetime on Earth." "I have been brave and chivalrous! " cried the old cowboy. "Uh huh" says St Peter, "tell me about it." Well, I was in a honkey tonk dance hall when three big old Minnesota pipeliners was a givin' a nice Texas gal a hard time. I told 'em to knock it off or I was gonna kick their yankees butts all the way back across the Mason-Dixon Line." "Uh Huh" says St Peter, "and when did this happen?" "About three minutes ago" says the old cowboy.

[6ZCo3xuK]

[mymnarorump]

Do you have a Texas connection? My twin sister lives in TX—Sweetwater.

I’ve got another joke. This Texan was so rich, that he wanted to be buried in his most spanking-new car—worth huge bucks. They had a crane to lower his body, car and all into the oversized burial plot. As the dead Texan was being lowered into his grave, one of his buddies cried out, “Man, that’s livin’!”

He was stopped at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter and U.S. Marine Guard. "Why you stoppin' me?" cried the old cowboy. "Boy, we have issues to be resolved," said St Peter, branishing a long list of the old cowboy's sins and transgressions. "We have a long list of sins that you bragged about on a public forum. Sins like gamblin'. drinkin', bar room brawlin', breakin' your weddin' vows and hangin' out in honkey tonks. You said that you were a smuggler, a skirt-chaser, a pimp and a violator of game and fish laws. You took other folk's accomplishments and claimed them for your own. You bragged about sirin' children out of Holy Wedlock. You advocated shootin' folks, usin' high explosives and beatin' up on women. You adulterated the Holy Scriptures by usin' 'em as gamblin' devices. You even said you had been up here before..........Boy, you see any revolvin' doors on them Pearly Gates? All in all you just been horrible but during all this sinnin' you did profess to be a Christian and that does cover a lot of ground around here. Based on that profession of faith, we gonna let you in ifin' you was ever brave and chivalrous during your lifetime on Earth." "I have been brave and chivalrous! " cried the old cowboy. "Uh huh" says St Peter, "tell me about it." Well, I was in a honkey tonk dance hall when three big old Minnesota pipeliners was a givin' a nice Texas gal a hard time. I told 'em to knock it off or I was gonna kick their yankees butts all the way back across the Mason-Dixon Line." "Uh Huh" says St Peter, "and when did this happen?" "About three minutes ago" says the old cowboy.

[Unhappu]

I’ve got another joke. This Texan was so rich, that he wanted to be buried in his most spanking-new car—worth huge bucks. They had a crane to lower his body, car and all into the oversized burial plot. As the dead Texan was being lowered into his grave, one of his buddies cried out, “Man, that’s livin’!”

[Xibizopt]

'cept it would not be his car but his spanking-new truck.

[ljq0AYOV]

Paul my Texas connection is that my children where born here and that I have made my home here for over 20 years.
PA it should be a pickup! A stepside!

[casinobonusa]

Paul my Texas connection is that my children where born here and that I have made my home here for over 20 years.
PA it should be a pickup! A stepside!

not just any, but Ford F-150. "Ford is the best in Texas...!"

[Virosponna]

Paul my Texas connection is that my children where born here and that I have made my home here for over 20 years.
PA it should be a pickup! A stepside!

Did you hear the one about the Kentuckian who posted to the Texan that KY had enough gold to build a gold wall around the entire State of TX. The Texan responded: “You can?! You build it, and I’ll buy it!”