[Thydaysuh]

For a small fee, they can go to a new, loving, atheist home...

You've committed your life to Jesus. You know you're saved. But when the Rapture comes what's to become of your loving pets who are left behind? Eternal Earth-Bound Pets takes that burden off your mind.


We are a group of dedicated animal lovers, and atheists. Each
Eternal Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you've received your reward. Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus.

We are currently active in 20 states and growing. Our representatives have been screened to ensure that they are atheists, animal lovers, are moral / ethical with no criminal background, have the ability and desire to rescue your pet and the means to retrieve them and ensure their care for your pet's natural life. Home Page

[MatueHarton]

From the FAQs

Q: Is this a Joke?
A: No. This is a serious offer to our Christian friends who believe in the Second Coming and honestly care about the future of their pets after the Rapture occurs.

Q: Do YOU believe in the Rapture.
A: As atheists we do not hold beliefs in the supernatural or a divine being. Thus, we do not believe in the Rapture. However, we respect the beliefs of others and are open to the possibility that our perspective could possibly be wrong.

Q: How do you ensure your representatives won't be Raptured.
A: Actually, we don't ensure it, they do. Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with
Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation.

Q: Can I meet or communicate with my rescue representative?
A: Sorry, No. Our representatives' information are held in strict confidence.

Q: Can I be sure my name and information won't be misused or circulated?
A: We hold all information in complete confidence. Your name, street address, and email info are held only in the EE-BP data base. They are not provided to the respective rescue representative unless and until the Rapture actually occurs. Only the state, town , type and number of pets are known in advance to the rescue representatives for advanced logistical planning purposes.

Q: How can we trust that you'll honor your service agreement, afterall, you ARE atheists.
A: Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don't believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, are gainfully employed, and have friends of varying beliefs. Some of us are married to believers. Many of us volunteer our time at food banks, animal shelters, meals on wheels organizations, etc. We fully endorse the "Rule of Reciprocity", also known as "The Golden Rule." We just happen not to believe in God(s).

[zbckFNlW]

Personally, I believe animals automatically go to heaven. Heaven would suck arse without them. Id rather not go if its the case.

[cemDrymnVem]

Personally, I believe animals automatically go to heaven. Heaven would suck arse without them. Id rather not go if its the case.

Really! You'd prefer the eternal flames of hell to God's shining glory & love if it meant you'd burn forever with a kitty?

[yqpY4iw6]

Why do they think people who believe in a rapture are gullible enough to fall for something like this?

[Erunsenef]

Its only $115!!! Small price to pay for the peace of mind knowing your fur-baby will be cared for after the second coming. $15 for each additional pet, I say that's a bargain.

[N9NACzws]

Really! You'd prefer the eternal flames of hell to God's shining glory & love if it meant you'd burn forever with a kitty?

No Id rather incinerate with my dogs.

[klnbgqr]

Anyone need someone to look after their home after the rapture comes and takes them away?

I'll be happy give you the piece of mind by allowing you to sign over the deed to your home to me

[freddystone]

Anyone need someone to look after their home after the rapture comes and takes them away?

I'll be happy give you the piece of mind by allowing you to sign over the deed to your home to me

If I live past my dog, he gets it. You can get it after him. It might be a bit of a mess though with no one to take him out.

[skiboyx]

Anyone need someone to look after their home after the rapture comes and takes them away?

I'll be happy give you the piece of mind by allowing you to sign over the deed to your home to me

Or sign over your life insurance - I would assume that the policy doesn't specifically exempt "sudden supernatural disappearance," and therefore we could at some point have you declared dead. After all, you've been paying into the insurance all these years, but it's not like you need the cash in heaven, right?

[Zenthachall]

Or sign over your life insurance - I would assume that the policy doesn't specifically exempt "sudden supernatural disappearance," and therefore we could at some point have you declared dead. After all, you've been paying into the insurance all these years, but it's not like you need the cash in heaven, right?

And bank accounts, stocks, and trusts. I can see the possibility of a number of ancillary businesses developing here.

[Ephedrine]

hmm, maybe like a reverse mortgage? Like I'll pay you $50 a month, and when the rapture happens, I'll get your loot?




I think there would have to be some sort of payout. Otherwise, I don't see the appeal for the Christian... other than being a good Christian...

[Innoloinarp]

I have to find my own angle on this one.
Seriously, paid in advance & no way for them to complain to about the results.

[Corporal White]

Really! You'd prefer the eternal flames of hell to God's shining glory & love if it meant you'd burn forever with a kitty?

i prefer the term pussy.



(just remembered Mrs Slocumb in "Are You Being Served?")

[derisgun]

They don't have coverage in Pee Aye yet...


reminds me of the spoof web site a couple years ago aimed at families trying to find a "husband" for their underage and problem daughters. I think it was called marryourdaughter.com

[Smeaphvalialm]

Why do they think people who believe in a rapture are gullible enough to fall for something like this?

LMAO! Priceless...

[Pvfcadbh]

Why do they think people who believe in a rapture are gullible enough to fall for something like this?

Because their guillible enough to believe in the rapture in the first place.

Personally, I don't see a Christian giving an athiest care over anything or anybody that they love. Even though love for an animal is over the top and crazy.

[Nemerov]

Because their guillible enough to believe in the rapture in the first place.

Thank you Captain Obvious.

[quottrethew]

Each of our representatives has stated to us in writing that they are atheists, do not believe in God / Jesus, and that they have blasphemed in accordance with Mark 3:29, negating any chance of salvation. Ironic, but I suppose this is only for making the client comfortable.

[quorceopporce]

The end times are nigh!!! Repent or sign on!!!