[dupratac]

So,

I haven't been on much lately....just been busy with life and things. I have a question for some of you though....Recently, I've been staying at a friend's house a bit...he has no problems with the dogs coming over as long as they are respectful of things and don't bother anything. Judge does great over there, loves him, loves life etc. etc., he's just typical goofy Judge.

Red on the other hand is not liking it at all, it's not like we live there, just have been staying there a lot, hanging out etc. She loves the friend, no issues there. She doesn't like some of his friends at all...(she's kinda schitzy)...I just make her behave herself(usually I work her with the clicker when someone comes over or she goes into Judge's crate) and she is fine as long as the friends leave her alone. She has been acting strange since the first time she went over there. I believe the reason is that the dogs are NOT NOT absolutely NOT allowed on the bed(doesn't bother me as it is kinda nice sleeping without dogs sometimes). She has slept in bed with someone since she was 6 weeks old, she's almsot 6 years old now. At home, I still let her sleep with me. I feel guilty in one hand for making her stay off the bed at his house but in the other...I just don't care really. She's a dog and it's not like she is sleeping outside or something, she sleeps in his chair.

Red has issues anyway...I can leave her at home with my grandma, the familiar and not deal with it or I can take her with me when I go(he enjoys the dogs) and just deal with her little behavioral issues, I just don't want to cause her to have more issues than she already does...she has a fragile psychy. I've been using the clicker a ton at his house to develop positive associations with it etc. Any ideas are very welcome...I like taking her with me there as it is quiet an peaceful, no kids around and she still gets to spend time with me. She's just having some issues adjusting and it is a little hard not only with this but my little brother's girlfriend is pregnant and Red has been really bitchy with her(she loved her before, never had an issue)....do I leave her home with grandma or keep working on the issues at his house??

It seems that this dog gets worse every year she gets older.....I'm a little stressed out about the whole thing with her. She hates/loathes kids...save 2 that she has known all her life and it seems that everybody and their dog is having kids right now. She is a good dog but just becoming less and less tolerant of things, BUT she does great with my grandma as long as there are no visitors.

Seriously, I'm sick of managing an unstable dog, it's tiring and stressfull. I love her to death and that's the reason I do it, but gawd.....

[tramdoctorsss]

I know this sounds mean, but I would seriously consder euthanasia before she hurts someone or a child.

If you absolutely can't bear to do that then I would say leave her at home and under strict control and containment at all times to prevent an incident and the choice being taken out of your hands.

[DumErrory]

I would continue working with her, maybe just leaving her w/ grandma once in a while if you feel like she needs a break. Hopefully, in working w/ her, she will improve in being able to stay at your friend's house w/ you.

Since she's an APBT & not completely stable, I don't think anyone would really fault you if you chose to euth. But is that where you are at this time? Is that a consideration?

[SQiTmhuY]

I'm with Debo and MJJean... considering what's going on... she could be miserable, mentally speaking. An unstable dog is like a bomb.... you never know what might set it off, if it were me, I would probably euthanize.

[Grarypealumma]

I'm with Deb on this. If you've worked with her this long you must love her, right?
So you need to do whatever you think is best for her, whatever that might be.

Is she truly unstable or did she just have a bad past and now has trauma issues?

I am really sorry about your situation.
I wish the best for you and for Red.

[KuznehikVasaN]

I'm sure you'll do whatevers best for you and Red. Good luck. I'm sure its not an easy thing to deal with

[oxixernibioge]

I'm so sorry. I know you'll do what's best for her. Good luck to you both.

[dupratac]

Euthanasia is not an option at all. She is managable, it just gets frustrating sometimes. Her main issue with kids is ok, I just don't take her around kids. As far as other people go...we manage just fine. No traumatic issues or anything like that, I've had her since she was 6 weeks old. I considered euthing awhile ago and it is no longer an option...never was really. I do leave her home sometimes for a break...she likes going there if it is just us and she does warm up to certain people that come over. Otherwise she goes in the crate and comes out once everyone leaves. I'll just keep doing clicker stuff with her and doing what I'm doing.

[SHpuntik]

I would keep working with her. But then I have my dogs with me pretty much 24/7 and I have been called paranoid at times, lol. At least if she is with you, you won't have to worry about someone randomly calling on your grandma and all that jazz.

[Ifroham4]

my little brother's girlfriend is pregnant and Red has been really bitchy with her(she loved her before, never had an issue)....

Isn't this common in some female dogs? Some female dogs bond closer to pregnant women (mainly in their own family,) and others turn bitchy to them?

I'm sorry I can't give a whole lot of input on anything else, but I thought I'd throw my $0.02 in about this portion.

[Gymnarnemia]

courtney, dogs that are continually stressed and don't get a break or recovery period DO end up with way too much stress hormones in their systems and that's why stressed dogs tend to act out a bit.

so i would back off a bit with bringing her over and make sure she has plenty of stress-free recovery time after visits so that hormone (i believe it is cortisol that rockets during stress situations) can dissipate.

you know i have an issue dog as well, and i've learned that if he's experiences something stressful, his learning curve is reduced for a bit after. so i give him a bit of time to just not have to do much of anything for a day or two. no need to go for walks if he doesn't want to or do obedience or anything else. he gets to just decompress. then we can revisit the "issue" and the real world later . . .

your best bet would probably be to not take her over for extended periods, such as overnights, for a while. bring her by with you for, say, an hour and do some play and clicker-work. don't bring her over when you know she'll have to deal with new people and strange situations--just pop in, play around, and leave while she's still at ease. do that for a while and gradually increase her exposures to situations at that house--new people, activity, etc. still keep it brief but set her up so that she'll be introduced to new stimuli in very limited doses, well below a threshold she can tolerate. then leave, again while she's still in a good frame of mind.

during this kind of thing, i would still give her a good amount of non-stress time hanging with grandma in between visits. so any stress she does feel will be out of her system by the time you bring her back . . .

it is a lot of work to have an issue dog. it kinda sucks because it always has to be baby steps, and nothing is ever "easy." but it's a huge learning experience, and it really helps you understand what makes a dog tick and learn.

good luck. you've got this far with red, i'm sure you'll work this one out too!

[byncnombmub]

Seriously, I'm sick of managing an unstable dog, it's tiring and stressfull.

I hear ya. Me, too.

[dupratac]

I'll work it out...it just frustrates me sometimes. she does get a lot of stress free time with grandma and I believe that helps her. I don't know why I didn't think of taking her for short vists and gradually increasing...I'm going back to the drawing board and come up with a system for her to get used to his place.

[DumErrory]

Great advice from Babyreba.

To be clear, I was not saying you should euth her. I was just saying IMO no one would fault you if you did, and asking if you were considering it or not. I completely understand choosing to manage her, and I have complete confidence you can.

[dupratac]

No offense taken Debo. I was almost convinced 2 years ago to put her to sleep....damn glad I didn't. The thing is that she is so freaking perfect in every other adspect...as long as she is doing OB she is fine....never nothing but I can't keep her doing OB all the time. lol I know no oen would fault me for it and one day it may come to that but for now....I'll press on and deal with her issues. Her issues are because of bad genes and me supressing any "bad" behavior she had as a puppy, I never just let her be... at that time, I owned a "pit bull" and knew she had to be "perfect". My fault and the bad breeder I got her from.

Just tiring and stressfull sometimes. The sad thing is that my friend loves her stupid little ass.....even with her little idiosyncracies..he thinks that both the dogs are just awesome...perfect...lmao I don't see it but whatever, at least he likes them and they like him(red just doesn't care for some of his friends, not all of them just a few). lol lol