[gernica]

TALES FROM THE TRANSPO DESK: PART 4

WHAT DO YOU MEAN ROLL UP THE WINDOWS AND TURN OFF THE A/C?

The entire Gulbis clan wasn’t very popular with the transpo department for one simple reason. They hate air-conditioning, especially Papa Gulbis who showed up sick in LA. At one point, a physio was sent to CVS to buy $140 worth of remedies and administer them to Papa. Well, he felt better immediately but that also meant he would now be going to the tournament site with Ernie for practices and such. At times it got quite hot last week but with Papa in the car, the orders were clear and immediate: roll up the windows and no a/c.

One of the other drivers told of a hilarious moment where she literally had a bead of sweat running down the side of her face before someone in the car said it would be ok to roll down the windows…but only while the car was at a stop-light.

After a while, I became Ernie’s regular driver and before leaving to pick him up, I would proudly announce to the other drivers, “Smell me now, because I ain’t gonna smell so great afterwards”.

Getting back to Papa, he arrived in LA on his own and a car was sent to pick him up late at night. The driver circled LAX endlessly with no sign of Papa. Finally, after a couple of hours the hotel was called and we were told Papa had already arrived via cab and checked-in. We were all baffled by the lack of courtesy and why he would just get in a cab when he knew a car was sent for him. Well, I was about to find out.

One afternoon I went to pick up Ernie, Papa, and some other young guy with long blonde hair who was with them during the tournament. I wait in front of the hotel and as Ernie comes out ahead of the others, we walk to the SUV, put his racquet bag in the trunk and get in the car. It is then we realize there is no Papa or Blondie. Where did they go? They were right behind us. Ernie and I get out of the car, but no sign of them on the street. We go back inside the hotel, no sign of them. We come back outside, still no sign of them. It’s like the movie The Vanishing. I have visions of Papa and Blondie buried alive in a wooden box. But then we spot a minivan cab with tinted windows and an open side door. Ernie walks up to it and inside are Papa and Blondie, cozily sitting in the cab. Both Ernie and I look at each other and just burst out laughing. Later on I realized this explained the airport situation perfectly. When his tournament sent vehicle wasn’t literally right in front of him as he got out of the airport, he must have gotten into the first cab he saw and went on his way. Amazing, hilarious, and infuriating, all at the same time.

As for the infamous stories about Ernie taking a private jet to challenger events, it was only done when the events were not centrally located or near a major airport and travel by private jet just made sense for Papa Gulbis.

At one point Ernie and I started talking about mmmm8. I mentioned how she is a fan and her elongated job search last year. Immediately Ernie started asking more detailed questions about her such as her age and her major at Columbia. Since I didn’t have exact answers for some of these questions, I just started making stuff up. So now, Ernie knows plenty about our Mariya, but how much of it is actually accurate remains a mystery. I told him she would be at his US Open matches (he’s not playing DC) so maybe she can stop by and clear the record.

Here is my take on Gulbis. If he gets along with you, you are a friend for life. But if he is cautious about you, he won’t have any problem calling you out. The latter sentiment is not because he comes from a privileged background, it is because he is extremely smart and just doesn’t care to suffer fools lightly. I can identify with that. He also doesn’t have a need to be liked, or a real desire to please. These are perhaps not the best personality traits for someone in the public eye but he isn’t going to change. If you like your tennis stars to be saintly look elsewhere, but if you like your tennis stars to be “real” – meaning as flawed as anyone – Ernie is definitely your guy.

With me he was always great. He always smiled warmly whenever we ran into each other and he always extended his paw for a handshake as we parted ways. Hardly the behavior of a spoiled, rich kid. Anyone who saw the Shriver interviews in LA got a sense of the other side of Ernie. He simply does not value bullshit over substance and has not problem calling someone, even while on TV, out on it. For the pre-match interview prior to the final, Pammie kept going on and on about how he was about to play Fish who is top 10, just won a title and is the #1 American. To which Ernie simply retorted, “I’m #1 in Latvia”. Take that Pammie and your bullshit. As if being the #1 American is something to be feared in today’s men’s game.

However, sometimes Ernie’s loyalty comes at a price not worth paying. One day a driver was late in picking him up but only because no pick-up was scheduled and the car was sent only after he called about it. When he arrived at the tournament, he insisted Blondie had scheduled a pick-up and we had somehow screwed up. We of course had no record of a scheduled pick-up. At that point, he repeatedly asked if the transpo coordinator was calling Blondie a liar and he just wouldn’t let the matter go. Now we have not missed a pick-up all tournament so clearly Blondie never called but Ernie was going to stay loyal even if he looked bad in the process.

Ernie also has two sisters who also play tennis. He hopes they never play professionally, because he thinks it is a much more difficult life for young girls on the tour. He said this during bea’s interview and thankfully bea cut it out because it would have been interpreted as “Ernie’s chauvinistic remarks about women’s tennis”. The next day, I told him he should just not diss women’s tennis in any manner because no good can come of it, especially in America. He tried to make the point that he was only talking about it in the context of his sisters but immediately understood the larger implications.

In the end, I think Ernie will always remain a bit of enigma to tennis fans. Like any of us, he is flawed, but he just isn’t going to change just so you can like him. I can respect that. But still that ‘no a/c’ rule has to go.

Canas, who is now coaching Gulbis -- along with Gabashvili and Odesnik -- will always carry the stain of his doping convictions but as a person he is soft-spoken, quite nice, and has little pretension about him. He still looks great and fitness remains important to him. More than once he was spotted jogging in and out of the hotel. He mainly lives in Miami now and has started a mini-academy with about seventeen students. He rarely returns to Argentina since his parents make the effort to visit him in the US regularly.

I spoke with him about the spring of 2007 when he beat Federer in IW and Miami, Canas readily admitted that during the first match Fed did not particularly play well. However, during the second match Fed played well and when Canas went down a break in the third, he was certain he was going to lose that match. Of course Canas broke back and went on to win the Miami match but it was interesting to listen to his honest assessment of those two matches.

[TeemFilla]

These stories are amazing and I have been looking forward to each and every post. Thanks so much.

[Nosmas]

The no AC idea is confusing to me. Maybe because the only time I saw Ernie play was on that hot day that he retired from heat illness and supposedly went to the emergency room.

[gernica]

The no AC idea is confusing to me. Maybe because the only time I saw Ernie play was on that hot day that he retired from heat illness and supposedly went to the emergency room.

Maybe that's exactly why he chose not to play Washington this year.

[clapsoewmred]

Love it, Miles! That story of his dad assuming the first available cab was for him is hilarious.

Hmm, I hope he didn't ask for mmmm8's contact info also

[Guaranano]

These stories are fantastic. I love "The Vanishing" reference!

[gernica]

TALES FROM THE TRANSPO DESK: PART 5

ARE WE CALLING HIM POODLE OR ZOOLANDER?

Peter McNamara is Grigor Dimitrov’s coach and he remains amazingly thin and unnaturally blonde for his age. He also loves tight, white t-shirts, and strides about with a puffed chest and a regal posture. Since the transpo desk is right next to the main practice court, we get a great look at most of the practice sessions (Gulbis and Baghdatis had an amazingly competitive one). Grigor would warm up by lazily jogging around the court, while McNamara commenced his own warm-up routine – striking poses that can be best described as an amalgamation of yoga and calisthenics. Watching his poetry in slow motion, little doubt was left that he must have appeared in Leni Riefenstahl’s Nazi documentary Olympia. (See link below starting at the 5:20 mark) He carried himself with such vanity that we really couldn’t decide between nicknaming him Poodle or Zoolander. Ultimately we settled on the former since he very much resembled a manicured French doggie.




Needless to say, both Tursunov and Dimitrov were in stitches when I revealed our beloved nickname for McNamara.

As for Dimitrov and Dmitry, they are virtually inseparable and very much share an older/younger brotherly bond. Seeing them interact, it would be easy to refer to one of them as a ying to the other’s yang, but their relationship doesn’t necessarily conform to conventional wisdom. For example, Grigor is the younger one but very much winds up playing the part of the older, more mature sibling. Yet at the same time he easily wastes money and has the temperament of any 20-year-old. He especially enjoys cursing, and although uttering profanities can be an art form (see David Mamet dialogue), Grigor right now just comes across as vulgar. When Tursunov wanted to stop and pick up burgers from a hole in the wall joint, it was Grigor who expressed an athlete’s concern for their health yet Tursunov being the older one, paid for lunch. Observing the two together, it is difficult to place one’s finger on exactly what keeps their bond so strong, but certainly the two of them fill a deep need in each other. They are inseparable – scheduling rides together, practicing only with one another, playing doubles together, and spending all their off-court time together. One wonders if such an intensely close relationship has an expiration date, but for now the bromance is full throttle intense, and you have to be happy for them.

As for Dimitrov’s physical appearance, he appears particularly lithe, even for a tennis player. I believe he simply may be too thin right now and could stand to add 10-15% muscle to his frame in order to give his shots more weight.

There was one particularly attractive female driver on our staff and it seems half the players wanted to get to “know her better”. Leaving for the airport, Grigor specifically asked for her but she was not on duty so I had the honor. Arriving at the hotel, in my deepest manly voice, I greeted Grigor by saying, “Hi, I’m Stacey”. Instantly Grigor blushed and turned into an insecure twenty year-old, even going so far as to disavow any interest in Stacey.

As for Tursunov, his mind does race a mile a minute – never missing an opportunity for a quick quip, and is both hilarious and exhausting at the same time. When you are initially around him, it is fun to laugh at his quick wit, but after a while it does just becomes too much. Grigor pretty much tunes him out and by the end, I was doing much the same.

With his constantly racing mind, it is no wonder Tursunov remains an erratic player. To make matters worse, he gets frustrated quite easily, even in practice. It is quite bewildering to see him routinely smack the ball as hard as he could towards the back fence – all because he made an error during practice. I’m sure he finds it difficult to harness the will and concentration to win a given match, let alone for an entire tournament, and this is why I think many times Dimitrov winds up playing the role of the older, more mature sibling.

One last tidbit on Dimitrov: When players schedule pick-ups at the airport, we ask for a cell phone number so the drivers can call them when circling the airport. Dimitrov’s agent refused to give up his digits, fearing they could fall into the wrong hands – I’m thinking his non-existent rabid female fans in the US. Clearly the agent thinks Dimitrov is a bigger star than he actually is, yet another sign of how players who have yet to accomplish anything have inflated worth of themselves.


THE PACKAGE HAS ARRIVED

Djokovic arrived in LA unexpectedly, and of course promptly wanted to use tournament resources while in town to do some promotion work unrelated the tournament. (Leno, Conan) for the week. If he was going to be in LA anyway, it would have been nice if he had played, especially since he pulled out at the absolute last moment last year. You will never guess why he pulled out last year – keep reading for the answer.

Initially very few people (even within the tournament) knew he was in town and he was promptly nicknamed The Package by the transpo department. To keep his presence low-key, he chose to practice away from the tournament site, where the qualies courts are located. Most of the time there was absolutely on one watching the #1 player in the world. even though he was practicing out in public. Most definitely a surreal experience.

Here is a photo of Novak practicing:



Here is a wide shot showing how many fans were watching.



Not sure which big-time celebrity is a Nole fan, but the house he was staying at was a routine stop on the “Homes of the Stars” tourist bus circuit.

Most players like to practice twice a day and Nole was no different. However, strangely enough, he did not practice with any of the players in the tournament but rather chose to hit with local juniors and former collegiate players. Very unusual.

During one particular practice, he chose to play two practice tiebreaks against a junior and promptly lost the first one. See how easy it is Rafa? Because of a pre-arranged bet, Nole then had to hit the cement and do ten push-ups. Of course he promptly beat the kid in the second tiebreak and made him do the requisite push-ups. What a memory this kid will have, having beaten the #1 player and the current Wimbledon champion in a practice tie-break! I will say this about Nole, his personality away from the cameras and the fans is not at all different than when everyone is “watching” him. He is very much happy go funny.

In more damning news, it was found out why he unexpectedly pulled out of the tournament last year. It was all because he was, drum roll please, yachting! Honestly, why does this guy make it so difficult to like him?


“HOW MUCH THIS CAR?”

Bellucci’s personality can be best described as a big fat zero. I was with him numerous times, but most of the time he remained quiet, and completely uninterested in his surroundings, even though this was the first time he has played LA. No he wasn’t shy, or the quiet type who opened up once he felt comfortable around you, he was just plain, old boring. When I told him to feel free to ask me questions, the only one he could muster was, “How much this car?”. Yeah, Tomaz, great question. What are you going to ask me about next? The home prices in Bel Air and Beverly Hills?

[Relsenlilky]

I think there's one more installment of this, but I may have lost track.

[arerrurrY]

Another great installment. Thanks for sharing, Miles!

[gernica]

TALES FROM THE TRANSPO DESK: PART 6

YOU HAVE CALLED ME AN IDIOT FOUR TIMES DURING THIS CONVERSATION

I briefly had Justin Gimleslob in the car for a quick ride from the qualies courts to the tournament site. What makes this even worth a mention is that Justin was on the phone the entire time, having a very loud shouting match with someone named Adam from the ATP.

I presume (with the help of omess) this Adam to be Mr. Adam Helfant, the outgoing CEO of the ATP. Why were they arguing?

The point of contention seemed to be the planned blue clay courts for Madrid with Adam accusing Justin of trying to sway Fed’s opinion by whispering to him during an ATP Board meeting. Justin was on the defensive the entire time and one point shouted into the phone, “you have called me an idiot four times during this conversation”.

I think I came a little every time Adam called Justin an idiot.

I’m glad to know we’re not the only ones to hold this opinion of Justin and even more glad that people within the tennis establishment have no problem saying it to Justin’s face. Frankly, none of the folks involved with the tournament, whether the PR staff or the ATP officials had anything nice to say about Justin.

In Justin’s defense I will say that even through he was in the midst of this verbal assault, he whispered a “thank you” not once, but twice as he left the car. And as he walked away, I thought to myself, “You’re welcome, you IDIOT”!


FALLA LA LA LA, LA LA LA

Everyone has to have a favorite scrub, and no doubt mine is Alejandro Falla and his uber nice coach Marcos Gorriz. Falla is also on the shy side but opens up nicely once he gets to know you and by midweek kept calling me his buddy. The transpo desk easily voted Gorriz nicest coach and I kidded with him that if Falla won the tournament, we would also vote him best coach. All three of us are lefties, so that was another fun tennis related trait we shared, though I actually play right-handed.

Both were surprised that I knew of the politics (thanks to a link on TAT provided by manolo) surrounding Falla and Giraldo (also coached by Gorritz) wanting Gorritz as their Davis Cup captain while the Columbian federation wanting some political crony to get the job. Since they are both from a small country, not known for its tennis, they modestly assume most people wouldn’t know anything about them so are genuinely surprised and willing to engage once anyone shows an interest in them. Really fun, nice, descent people.


BAD BOYS, BAD BOYS

On the flipside, both Baghdatis (who is supposedly getting married next year) and Gonzo displayed less than stellar behavior by hitting on a married tournament worker. The former was quite vulgar about it while the latter was a bit smoother but neither showed much moral compass – the fact that she was married and told them so was an irrelevant matter to them. I mention the above not because it was a rumor making the rounds but because their target told me about it first-hand. Sorry to disappoint you, Gonzo and Bags fans. Needless to say, the driver was not assigned to either of them for the remainder of their stay in LA.

Also, for no particular reason Bags shaved his head off in the middle of the tournament, though for days leading up to the haircut he kept asking for salon recommendations. He is also now fitter than ever and completely dedicated to a new nutrition regiment, as we routinely had to take him to Whole Foods supermarket to buy soy milk, sushi, and other healthy foods. So far the newfound dedication doesn’t seem to have improved his tennis. However Miles Machlachan (every bit the classic English gentleman) is his new coach now that he and Kohlschriber have split up. Bags also mentioned that he has given up on Davis Cup since Cyprus just doesn’t have a credible #2 for the team.

One curious bit that offers some insight into the mental state of Baghdatis. The first time I drove him, I mentioned that last year he made a funny quip about his mind not always cooperating with this desire to win. His odd response to this was, “why, you don’t think I try?” His response made no sense to me in the moment. After all, who was I to question whether he tries or not and more importantly, why would he care? Later of course I find out that it was his former coach who left him, rather than Baghdatis dumping him for Miles Machlachan. It was also a telling insight into his insecurity and that his rap has gotten to him.

Gonzo withdrew from doubles because he decided he was done for the week after he lost in the first round of singles. Poor Massu, who showed up for qualies for singles and was probably hoping to recoup some expenses by playing doubles, was left hanging by his countryman. Other players openly mocked Gonzo for his decision and let it be known it wasn’t the first time Gonzo acted only in his self-interest. Klassy, isn’t he?