[tilmprarnerit]

To each man, a scotch egg, a wheel of stilton and a lifetime supply of England's finest porter, if you please. That, and the best seats in the loser's lounge for such occasions as they will consent to grace us with their esteemed presence.

Should they honour us by doing so, I would suggest formal attire would be appropriate. In the unlikely event that my fellow gentlemen here are not familiar with such sartorial requirements, and mindful of the fact that social engagements at the All England Lawn Tennis and Croquet Club will tend to take place in the afternoon and early evening, may I respectfully post the following advisory:

Formal afternoon dress consists of a black cutaway coat with white piqué or black cloth waistcoat, and gray-and-black striped trousers. The coat may be bound with braid, or, even in better taste, plain. A satin-faced lapel is not conservative on a cutaway, but it is the correct facing for the more formal (and elderly) frock coat. Either a cutaway or a frock coat is always accompanied by a silk hat, and best worn with plain black waistcoat and a black bow tie or a black and white four-in-hand tie. Shoes may be patent leather, although black calf-skin are at present the fashion, either with or without spats. If with spats, be sure that they fit close; nothing is worse than a wrinkled spat or one that sticks out over the instep like the opened bill of a duck! Nothing, I say!!!

But you knew that.