[Yinekol]

Ugh. After yet another missed opportunity, I'm going to try to start a counterpoint thread.

There's something troubling that all of us need to accept. Roger just is not going away.

All of us Fed-Haters whose sole reason for existing is to watch Federer spiral out of control and plummet in flames down the rankings just continue to get teased. He just is not doing it! He can't even fall out of the top spot properly. He's managed to stick one of his hands out and catch onto the number two ledge firmly... TOO FIRMLY.

We can continue to get all excited with all the Acususos of the tennis world coming close (oh so tantalizingly close!!!) to breaking his obscene records of slam semis and such. But it will never happen. He'll continue to get free passes from guys who suddenly balk at the idea of winning with "OH! This is FEDERER, so I cannot possibly win this match! I had better blow my lead yet again and hand him his advance on a silver platter!" He's going to continue to up his game at the last possible second (yet again) to stave off defeat to a player who is looking like they deserve a win. Like Pavlov's dogs we will always salivate at the slightest hint of blood for the feast that will never come.

He'll never let go of the number two spot until he retires. And it won't be in shame like so many of us who kneel and pray nightly in front of our golden Nadal statues hope for. He's going to manage to always get at least a slam a year too, even if god himself smites him with yet more mono related illnesses his smug self-assurance will continue to raise him above the mere peons around him.

Thus he will retire with more slams than you can count on your fingers and one foot, sealing the title of GOAT(herder) for all-time so that no star can ever shine as brightly as his until the universe collapses. And he'll do it all while not ranked as number 1, to spite us!

This is just fate, and we need to learn to accept it. No number of close calls will ever cause the church of Federer to crumble before it's many enemies and pretenders. All of our obvious jealousy and vindictiveness over his sublime talent and deific play and touch will be for naught in the end.

[/satire]

[wrenjmerg]

He'll never let go of the number two spot until he retires. A

Other than premature retirees like Justine and Borg, has anyone ever retired with a ranking in the top 5?

[berdyanskdotsu]

Other than premature retirees like Justine and Borg, has anyone ever retired with a ranking in the top 5?

Steffi, yes?

Martina N (the first time?)

[EarnestKS]

Other than premature retirees like Justine and Borg, has anyone ever retired with a ranking in the top 5?

Steffi was #3, I believe, in 1999.

[Yinekol]

Other than premature retirees like Justine and Borg, has anyone ever retired with a ranking in the top 5?

Roger will. He's going to continue to extend his GS Semi-or-better record until he is forced to step aside for stealing the spotlight from Fed-junior.

He'll deny me my dearest desire for an early round GS loss, despite these teasing could-have-been performances. With those points, he'll never drop out.

[repldoinfo]

What exactly is the purpose of this thread???

I don't think it is funny at all.

So, should we all start separate and dedicated threads about players we don't like and start bitching about how they are not losing enough? That would be so lovely!

[Yinekol]

What exactly is the purpose of this thread???

I think you missed my humor. I'm making fun of myself for wanting to see Roger lose ala the Washed up thread. It's intended as complete and utter satire. Overblown lamentation of things like the other day. Sorry if it rubbed you the wrong way.

(I really was trying to go well over the top so no one could take it seriously... even added the tiny "this is a joke" satire label at the end. I actually feel bad now.)

[TheBest-Host]

Other than premature retirees like Justine and Borg, has anyone ever retired with a ranking in the top 5?

Evert was #4, I believe.

[secondmertg]

So, should we all start separate and dedicated threads about players we don't like and start bitching about how they are not losing enough? That would be so lovely!

Actually, I would be very happy to see your Rafa hate confined to a single thread instead of soiling TAT all over the place. :devil:

[icedrakona]

What exactly is the purpose of this thread???

I don't think it is funny at all.

So, should we all start separate and dedicated threads about players we don't like and start bitching about how they are not losing enough? That would be so lovely!

Ditto

[Yinekol]

I do feel like I need to defend myself here.

If you don't like the joke and don't want to laugh at my attempt at comical self-characterization that is fine. I genuinely wanted to give people a smile today and let them laugh at a grossed exaggerated characterization I cooked up. Taken to comical extremes in all directions. Contrasting a "Fed isn't doing well enough" lamentation thread with a "Fed is doing too well" one because I thought it was a cute idea.

If you want to take the comments at face value and assume it's an accurate representation of me and think that I am sick enough to actually want to see people fail horribly I suppose I can't stop you from thinking that.

Contrary to what some may think, this thread is intended to lament his success! We already have a thread about losses.

[fuslssdfaa]

Speaking as a Fed fan, I found it funny, especially given that it was clear that it was not meant to be taken seriously.

[gyjsdtuwr]

PS: your Anti-Fed membership card should be arriving any day now.

[tomspoumn]

After reading the comments above, I wondered if I had missed something when my initial desire was to use the hysterically funny smilie. So I went back and re-read it.

It was funny the first time. It was funny the second time. I didn't even need the "satire" label to know it was pure satire. Which I enjoy.

Perhaps it helps that I like both Fed and Rafa and admire their skills and think they are both great people and always feel happy for the winner of their matches and sorry for the loser. I take no sides in this rivalry. I just appreciate great tennis. So I had no buttons to get pushed. Satire goes over much better when that's the case.

[ManituIKOL]

You know, Roger seems like a pretty clean person to me.

[GogaMegaPiska]

I thought it was very funny.

It definitely gave me a smile, James. I'm a huge Fed fan (though Rafa is my second fav).

Reluctantly, I admit that Drop Shot's avatar also makes me smile. He is a dog with a bone.

[abossakon]

Hmm, I thought it was funny too. You made me smile, James7.

[icedrakona]

Apparently Vlad and I are the only ones here without a sense of humor.

[fuslssdfaa]

You know, Roger seems like a pretty clean person to me.

[itititit]

No one is a bigger Fed fan than me. AND- I found James' first post to be hysterical and very well-written and well-intended. I'd again like to suggest that there are real good uses for the PM function. Because, I personally don't appreciate any public attempts to make James, or anyone else here, feel bad about a post or thread. Unless someone goes WAY over-the-top- IMO, if ya just don't think something is all that funny- move on and ignore it. We're not always going to get each others' humor. And I wish that we all could do our best to at least try to maintain a sense of humor about the players.