[Quick$bux]

(this story is showing up in a bunch of places today. Think it was long suspected, but I also think this might be the first time she's confirming it)


Dokic accuses father of physical abuse


Tennis star Jelena Dokic, who is estranged from her father Damir, told the magazine Sport & Style, that she was physically abused as a child.

"I’ve been through a lot worse than anybody on the tour," she said. "I can say that with confidence.”

Damir Dokic, who previously was barred by officials for six months from attending tournaments, refused to speak to the magazine.

“There was a period where there was nothing that could make me happy," the tennis player said. " I wanted somebody’s else’s life." (AP File Photo)

http://blogs.usatoday.com/gameon/200...cal-abuse.html

[Quick$bux]

It's a shame, but is there anyone else like me who thinks there's at least a slight reason to doubt anything Jelena has to say? Damir's no saint, and he's been rightly banned from events, but Jelena herself has been less than credible throughout her career as well. I hate being suspicious, but....

And of course she's "been through a lot worse than anyone on the Tour". It's worse, Jelena, because it's partly what you put yourself through. And there are any number of players I can list off the top of my head who have not only had to deal with tragic and difficult circumstances, but somehow managed to overcome them.

[FelixQY]

Moose,
Would 3 of the names be players that won 7 or more Slams?

[PyncGyncliacy]

It's a shame, but is there anyone else like me who thinks there's at least a slight reason to doubt anything Jelena has to say? Damir's no saint, and he's been rightly banned from events, but Jelena herself has been less than credible throughout her career as well. I hate being suspicious, but....

My first response to the news was "Duh, what else is new"


there are degrees of physical abuse. Do I think he beat her to a pulp? No. Do I think he hit her? I can't imagine that he didn't

[Quick$bux]

Moose,
Would 3 of the names be players that won 7 or more Slams?

Absolutely, Patrick. And I don't mean to make this a discussion about any of them in particular. It's just that everyone brings their personal issues to the table. Some overcome, and some battle demons throughout their careers. It's what you do to move forward, given your circumstances, that matters.

[bxxasxxa]

I'd back up that it's at least reasonable to question what Dokic says EXCEPT in such a circumstance as talking about physical abuse. That makes me nervous. And I can't get into conjecture over how bad it was at all. None of us were there, obviously. And physical abuse is just wrong, every time, regardless of anyone's determination of the degree of physical abuse. I for one have no doubt that Dokic was the victim growing up of physical abuse. I also have to throw out here that, sure, Dokic has been less than credible at times....WITH the huge caveat that it looks to me that she was under the thumb of a horrible father while also being VERY young during a lot of times when she was less than credible.

NOW, having said all of this- truly, it also can come as narcisstic to me for her to also say that "I’ve been through a lot worse than anybody on the tour," and "I can say that with confidence.” Mind you, if indeed the dad really did beat the crap out of her and/or, God forbid, there was, say, sexual abuse- then I all the more understand her sentiments. I also understand that abuse under any circumstances can make one feel very alone. But- we truly do not know what others have gone through. Daddy Dokic is clearly not the only tennis parent nut out there. Some players clearly have come from horrible poverty. Etc., etc. It just always feels off to me to get into comparing your situation against others.

I'm still all for allowing some lee-way here for Jelena. She's still very young. It's pretty normal when coming from abuse to have to go through periods of blaming, "woe is me" times, and all. (Albeit, not all of us get the chance to do so in international publications.) Still, NOW comes the REAL tough part for Jelena. At some point- you really just have to be ready to deal with your own sh**. At some point, and it's harsh, but you just have to find a way to stop focusing on what THEY did, and focus on what you need to do with your own life. If all you do is obsess and focus on what your parents did that was wrong- you then can practically doom yourself to live a life of your own version of making their same mistakes. Hope that she can get beyond this.

[Kimeoffessyr]

for me i completely believe that there was physical abuse, and any degree of it, is too much.

i also agree with earlier messages that there are probably a few other players who have harrowing stories of abuse (be it physical or emotional). there is something about girls who are trained at such young ages, easily influenced by their parents / coaches (who are often one and the same), with potentially so much money at stake, and the pressure that lends itself to abuse.

i would completely surprised if a man on the atp came forward with stories of abuse of any type from their parents or and coaches.

[bxxasxxa]

for me i completely believe that there was physical abuse, and any degree of it, is too much.

i also agree with earlier messages that there are probably a few other players who have harrowing stories of abuse (be it physical or emotional). there is something about girls who are trained at such young ages, easily influenced by their parents / coaches (who are often one and the same), with potentially so much money at stake, and the pressure that lends itself to abuse.

i would completely surprised if a man on the atp came forward with stories of abuse of any type from their parents or and coaches.

Albeit, I am quite sure that there are male players who have gone through parental abuse, too. The golfer Sean O'Hare, who just won the latest PGA tournament, is on the record about his nut dad. Sadly, I just think it'd be tougher for the men to come forward- as I'm not sure that, except in REAL awful circumstances, they'd get any real kind of public support. Societal double standards work in so many horrible ways.

[Quick$bux]

i would completely surprised if a man on the atp came forward with stories of abuse of any type from their parents or and coaches.

Ferrer's coach locked him in a closet, Giorgina. I think a lot of people would consdider that abuse:

__________________________
Ferrer, like any teenager, wasn’t getting big results and, more importantly, couldn’t quite figure out if tennis was his calling. Hanging out with friends, on the other hand, suited him just fine. Predictably, his desire fizzled. That’s when Piles tried to motivate Ferrer with tactics straight out of a Saw movie.

He locked him in a closet.

“When he didn’t want to work I would lock him up in a dark room of two by two meters and I would put a lock on it so he couldn’t get out,” Piles told Deuce magazine. “It was the room where we would store the tennis balls. I would tell him that his working scheduled was from 9 to 12 and that if he didn’t want to work he would remain there punished. I would give him a piece of bread and a bottle of water through the bars of a small window. After a few minutes we would hear David asking other trainers from the club for some help to get out but we wouldn’t pay any attention.”

http://www.tennis.com/features/gener...aspx?id=108160

[resegooredo]

I've read a few articles in the Australian media in the past that mention coaches and other players seeing bruises on her, her hiding in the locker room from her Dad and witnessing him yelling at her after matches and they were afraid to confront her Dad. So not really suprised at all at this.

[TypeTeasiaDer]

Ferrer's coach locked him in a closet, Giorgina. I think a lot of people would consdider that abuse:

__________________________
Ferrer, like any teenager, wasn’t getting big results and, more importantly, couldn’t quite figure out if tennis was his calling. Hanging out with friends, on the other hand, suited him just fine. Predictably, his desire fizzled. That’s when Piles tried to motivate Ferrer with tactics straight out of a Saw movie.

He locked him in a closet.

“When he didn’t want to work I would lock him up in a dark room of two by two meters and I would put a lock on it so he couldn’t get out,” Piles told Deuce magazine. “It was the room where we would store the tennis balls. I would tell him that his working scheduled was from 9 to 12 and that if he didn’t want to work he would remain there punished. I would give him a piece of bread and a bottle of water through the bars of a small window. After a few minutes we would hear David asking other trainers from the club for some help to get out but we wouldn’t pay any attention.”

http://www.tennis.com/features/gener...aspx?id=108160

Whaa?

Awww... now I just want to give him a hug even more than I used to

[Quick$bux]

Awww... now I just want to give him a hug even more than I used to

I did, James. And all that muscle felt incredible I'm glad I got a chance to do so

[hacyOrgachbic]

Moose, you got to give Ferrer a HUG? I'm totally green with envy now! That said......

1. I wouldn't go so far as to say that David was ahem.....abused. I've read that article you spoke of and I've heard David in interviews. He loves tennis and he loves competition, but he has admitted to a period of laziness when he didn't want to train. Rather than.....let all that talent go to waste, it sounds to me like an extreme measure in this VERY specific situation to get David to make a decision and a commitment. I think that the method of getting David to commit is probably more extreme than abusive...it sounds more like a kid having a tantrum. I wonder how great Agassi could have been if he didn't go though that rebellious obnoxious period he had. At any rate...if David had decided to give up on tennis...that would have probably been the end of that. But to say you want to play tennis and then not do the work.....coaches need to get creative anyways.....if it seriously was abuse...maybe we'll hear about it one day in a tell all book from that cutie that hasn't been performing on the courts as late like he should be

2. Jelena's statement that she's basically had it worst than anyone on the tour just doesn't give me a vibe that...she's being narcissitic or caught up in herself. It gives me a vibe that she is looking at something that happened to her that was so horrible it has crippled her severely for years. It doesn't mean that nothing bad happened to other players ....I just think that Jelena is looking at what happened....and having a social worker for a mother who used to bring her cases home (and I would sneak downstairs after she went to bed and read her case files) I know what horrors exist and the monsters that commit them. Until Jelena opens up some more.....I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

3. Some of the players on the tour are HUGE survivors. It isn't fair to compare one person's pain and rising above it to another's pain who has been unable to rise above it. Seriously, how many female players on the tour...can suffer a huge emotional devastation like the murder of a beloved sister, fall down to a ranking of 81 and then come back to win the Aussie Open? Everyone is not like Serena. To each their own. Anna Chaks has never been the same since that home invasion that she suffered from. Seles eventually overcame....but truthfully.....she never reached the heights she would have if that stabbing had never occurred. We honestly don't know to what depths Jelena has been scarred by her father. We know she suffered horrific emotional and verbal abuse from that bully and now she is confirming something that has been suspected all along...that she suffered physical abuse also. Let's let this story and her healing unfold at the rate that she takes it and just empathsize with her.

4. If Dokic was talking about something like...her fitness or her training routine or some newspaper of something....I'd take it with a grain of salt. But for Jelena and her story over the years....sorry guys I don't doubt the abuse at all. And I bet the Aussie Federation knows something or they wouldn't have worked so darn quickly to keep Damir away from the Australian Open.

And please don't think that I'm biased because I'm so loving Jelena's being back in the top 100 and back on the tour.....working on her fitness, playing Fed Cup for the Aussies etc....I'm not at all biased.. But I will always give the benefit of the doubt to abuse victims....any kind of abuse be it physical, sexual, emotional, verbal.....................they all take their toll on the heart and soul of the victim.

[hacyOrgachbic]

I did, James. And all that muscle felt incredible I'm glad I got a chance to do so

Totally green with envy!!!!!

[anderriter]

Moose, you got to give Ferrer a HUG? I'm totally green with envy now! That said......

1. I wouldn't go so far as to say that David was ahem.....abused. I've read that article you spoke of and I've heard David in interviews. He loves tennis and he loves competition, but he has admitted to a period of laziness when he didn't want to train. Rather than.....let all that talent go to waste, it sounds to me like an extreme measure in this VERY specific situation to get David to make a decision and a commitment. I think that the method of getting David to commit is probably more extreme than abusive...it sounds more like a kid having a tantrum. I wonder how great Agassi could have been if he didn't go though that rebellious obnoxious period he had. At any rate...if David had decided to give up on tennis...that would have probably been the end of that. But to say you want to play tennis and then not do the work.....coaches need to get creative anyways.....if it seriously was abuse...maybe we'll hear about it one day in a tell all book from that cutie that hasn't been performing on the courts as late like he should be

I agree.

[TheBest-Host]

I remember when Wimbledon staff found Jelena hanging around deep into the evening after she lost that semi to Davenport. Damir was banned from the grounds, and she clearly didn't want to leave that protected environment and face him. There is no doubt in my mind she was abused by him in some way, whether physical or mental.

[gyjsdtuwr]

I did, James. And all that muscle felt incredible I'm glad I got a chance to do so

Emmmm Moose... that wasn't muscle.

[hacyOrgachbic]

I remember when Wimbledon staff found Jelena hanging around deep into the evening after she lost that semi to Davenport. Damir was banned from the grounds, and she clearly didn't want to leave that protected environment and face him. There is no doubt in my mind she was abused by him in some way, whether physical or mental.

This is a very sad memory for me Damir had such control over Jelena...I wish there was some way.....that we could reach out to abuse victims and some way for them to accept our help but the very nature of abuse prevents victims from recognizing themselves as victims and from accepting help.

[Quick$bux]

the very nature of abuse prevents victims from recognizing themselves as victims and from accepting help.

It didn't stop Mary Pierce, Missin'.

[hacyOrgachbic]

It didn't stop Mary Pierce, Missin'.

But how long Moose? How long did it take her? I assume you are talking about her father?

And remember......everyone isn't the same. Mary belongs to a very select few....I guess you could argue that Jelena is free of her father now...but look how long it took her and the cost