[alanamosteller]

Fail to find the right method, fail your kid. Honestly that is up to the kid, not dear ol'uncle Sam.

IMO more the parent than the kid.. BUT agreed uncle sam needs to stay out.

[ultimda horaf]

Every kid has what they learn best from. That's why I say the method is up to the kid. I think its the parents job to find it.

[BloofPailafum]

Well todays kids are nothing but trouble. The government comes in and you can't discipline your own kids. That is why we have gang bangers, crack heads, thieves, drop outs, etc.

Hell my mother is a cousin to the Hatfields and I will tell you what! Me and my brother, (7-9 years old), got our ass tore up if we were not within hollering distance of our mother and we didn't come when she called for us, she made us pick our own thorn switches, (in Virginia they grow nice big thorns), we would have to find the biggest ones and pick the thorns off for the handle for her and down came our pants and she tore our legs up!

We got it tore up a couple of times before were decided it wasn't fun anymore.

Then came the time I shoplifted at the mall when I was 13 years old. I had money from washing & waxing cars and cutting grass, but my so called friends dared me and pressured me into shoplifting. Well I got caught, the store manager said I could give them my parents phone number or he would call the police. I gave them my home number. My dad answered the phone and after the manager explained what I did, he told the guy to hold on a minute I will put his mother on the phone.

My mother came up to the mall and got me, (luckily all my school friends left because it was getting late in the afternoon, so we never hung out at the mall past 4pm on Saturday), all through the coridor of the mall, she pulled my hair, (it was long), jerked my head back and forth and would hit me while my head was in motion towards her from pulling my hair and hit me and back handed me and everyone passing through the mall was watching what she was doing to me. I agree I deserved it, but going from one end of the mall to the other with her beating me, then she decides she wants to go into Sears and look at womens clothes. She would look at something on the rack, told me to stand next to her and don't move. Then she looked at another garment and back handed me several times telling me she didn't raise me that way and I damn well knew better!

Grant, that was the LAST TIME I ever stole anything or got into any kind of trouble! BTW, I didn't go back to that mall for 2 years! I didn't want to go to school on Monday fearing my friends may have seen the action. my mom made me go or get whipped again. I went to school and waited for someone to say something, but no one did, and I never mentioned it!

I turned out pretty darn good after that.

As the verse says, Spare the rod, spoil the child! The reason kids today have issues. It also doesn't help with a one parent family either!

I am not all out for beating a child, but a good ass whipping doesn't hurt either!

[Paul Bunyan]

Old proverb of "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

[MwhwF6bp]

I READ that book! Damn good read. I liked the part where they stoned the child for swearing.

[horoshevapola]

Sounds almost what happened to me when i stole at 12.. other than the pulling my hair..

[Phlkxkbh]

Show of hands...how many here are emotionally scarred from being disciplined or, god forbid, spanked as a child?

[Immerymopay]

Show of hands...how many here are emotionally scarred from being disciplined or, god forbid, spanked as a child?

Everyone seems to have their own definition of spanking, abuse, or discipline so it's hard to tell. I wasn't "scarred" by my father disciplining us but he rarely had to spank us and when he did, it was a pat on the bottom.

I do know that kids who never get discipline, when someone just speaks harshly to them they act like they got beaten.

[wepoiyub]

And I'm sure you love your father no less. It seemed to me that my step mom was afraid to say no to her 2 sons because she maybe feared that if she was seen as mean, she wouldn't be as loved. Because of this, she got no respect while they grew up. Whenever my dad tried to intervene with some discipline they would always end up arguing. I guess my point is that for some reason, some parents today are afraid to be the bad guy by saying NO or disciplining their children.

[anaisdannyxys]

Cause a lot try to be friends to their kids, rather than parents.

[dr-eavealer]

My father did go overboard. Not because of the belt but, because of the reasons for why he would spank us. That aside, I do spank my kids when they need it. No belt, open hand only and only bare bottom if its the worst of the worst offense. I don't have to do it as much anymore as they listen now. My wife on the other hand doesn't spank. The results? They have absolutely no respect for what she says and if she does tell them no on something, they will whine and ask over and over until she inevitably gives in. My friend has the exact same issue as me. He spanks and his wife doesn't. The results are exactly the same for him. It takes a firm hand but, once they figure out they can't get away with things then its usually not required.

I feel as some of the others here do. The government needs to stay the hell out of the home discipline. There is nothing wrong with discipline, there is with abuse. Most seem to think its a fine line, they would be wrong. If it leaves a bruise or more, the spanking doesn't happen on the behind or you find yourself resorting to that first then there is something wrong. Everything in moderation, spanking included. Also, the verbal should be watched. My step father always called us dumbasses, jackass, fucking idiot, ect. There is no call for that, no matter the situation.

[enasseneiff]

My father did go overboard. Not because of the belt but, because of the reasons for why he would spank us. That aside, I do spank my kids when they need it. No belt, open hand only and only bare bottom if its the worst of the worst offense. I don't have to do it as much anymore as they listen now. My wife on the other hand doesn't spank. The results? They have absolutely no respect for what she says and if she does tell them no on something, they will whine and ask over and over until she inevitably gives in. My friend has the exact same issue as me. He spanks and his wife doesn't. The results are exactly the same for him. It takes a firm hand but, once they figure out they can't get away with things then its usually not required.

I feel as some of the others here do. The government needs to stay the hell out of the home discipline. There is nothing wrong with discipline, there is with abuse. Most seem to think its a fine line, they would be wrong. If it leaves a bruise or more, the spanking doesn't happen on the behind or you find yourself resorting to that first then there is something wrong. Everything in moderation, spanking included. Also, the verbal should be watched. My step father always called us dumbasses, jackass, fucking idiot, ect. There is no call for that, no matter the situation.

It's more that parents are scared of their kids than anything. They're scared of getting the cops called and not always by their kids. By nosy neighbors.

Yeah verbal and emotional abuse is a no-go. My mother used to do that to us at home - but in front of other people we were the perfect kids. At first we thought she had another family because she couldn't possibly be talking about us "worthless" kids to these strangers.

[jokilewqs]

My father did go overboard. Not because of the belt but, because of the reasons for why he would spank us. That aside, I do spank my kids when they need it. No belt, open hand only and only bare bottom if its the worst of the worst offense. I don't have to do it as much anymore as they listen now. My wife on the other hand doesn't spank. The results? They have absolutely no respect for what she says and if she does tell them no on something, they will whine and ask over and over until she inevitably gives in. My friend has the exact same issue as me. He spanks and his wife doesn't. The results are exactly the same for him. It takes a firm hand but, once they figure out they can't get away with things then its usually not required.

I feel as some of the others here do. The government needs to stay the hell out of the home discipline. There is nothing wrong with discipline, there is with abuse. Most seem to think its a fine line, they would be wrong. If it leaves a bruise or more, the spanking doesn't happen on the behind or you find yourself resorting to that first then there is something wrong. Everything in moderation, spanking included. Also, the verbal should be watched. My step father always called us dumbasses, jackass, fucking idiot, ect. There is no call for that, no matter the situation.

I feel ya pain. I have had to put up with other's kids being that way cause one of the parents was a discipliner, while the other was not..

[interznakinfo]

up here in maine, years ago, we got sent to the car for acting up in the store. rolled down the window and just sit and wait. if you seen a kid in a car, you knew they had gotten in trouble.
one school, the principal had a paddle, and was known to use it, with parents permission.
i got my share of whuppings.
and i don't lie, or steal.
easiest beating i ever got was with a wodden yardstick. my stepmother got about 1 maybe 2 licks in, before it broke. years later, i laugh at how mad she was trying to pick up pieces to beat me more.
as kids, we all had marks, etc. and some of us got it just dang much.
nowadays, there's no line. spank, don't spank. some folks take it too far. others are afraid for the swat on the butt, and dhs showing up.

[Itrtuawh]

up here in maine, years ago, we got sent to the car for acting up in the store. rolled down the window and just sit and wait. if you seen a kid in a car, you knew they had gotten in trouble.
one school, the principal had a paddle, and was known to use it, with parents permission.
i got my share of whuppings.
and i don't lie, or steal.
easiest beating i ever got was with a wodden yardstick. my stepmother got about 1 maybe 2 licks in, before it broke. years later, i laugh at how mad she was trying to pick up pieces to beat me more.
as kids, we all had marks, etc. and some of us got it just dang much.
nowadays, there's no line. spank, don't spank. some folks take it too far. others are afraid for the swat on the butt, and dhs showing up.

But then what about the children who were beaten, whether with a belt or a switch, who grow up and become criminals? I don't think that it's the discipline that does it. I think it's the parent. My dad, again, never had to hit us. But we respected him. We were more afraid of the disappointment then the yelling. To this day, if my dad ever yelled at me like when I was little, I would be ashamed of myself and know that I failed him.

More parents need to teach respect with discipline. Discipline doesn't need to come from a belt or a switch. It's just like being in the Army. I get respect from my subordinates and I've never "smoked" the shit out of a soldier before. I'm not saying I didn't ever want to with one soldier but I didn't. I think that leaders who do that are poor leaders. If you can't communicate to your subordinates without smoking them, that's not being effective IN MY OPINION.

[pavilionnotebook]

kids are different. sending me to my room was a waste of time. i'd just go read, and come out an hour after they said i could. stick me in the corner, and i'd fall asleep. time out didn't work. yelling? my father and stepmother were always yelling, so i was numb to it. pain i remembered. and then getting the hell out of there and deciding for myself what kind of person i wanted to be. the pain was only a minor issue, as i have no flasbacks when getting a tattoo on an area that i would have been beaten on. don't even think of it.
face it, everyone is different. and a simple ass whupping really didn't hurt those of us who went thru it. and it also doesn't mean that we'd do the same to our kids. best thing folks can do is, calm down before doing the whupping.

[JediReturns84]

kids are different. sending me to my room was a waste of time. i'd just go read, and come out an hour after they said i could. stick me in the corner, and i'd fall asleep. time out didn't work. yelling? my father and stepmother were always yelling, so i was numb to it. pain i remembered. and then getting the hell out of there and deciding for myself what kind of person i wanted to be. the pain was only a minor issue, as i have no flasbacks when getting a tattoo on an area that i would have been beaten on. don't even think of it.
face it, everyone is different. and a simple ass whupping really didn't hurt those of us who went thru it. and it also doesn't mean that we'd do the same to our kids. best thing folks can do is, calm down before doing the whupping.

And my point is that a parent shouldn't have to beat or abuse their children to get a point across. If that's the case, that kid has no hope for getting discipline through their thick head. Now a spanking - a simple pat on the butt or a tap on the hand or wrist that - to me - is not abuse. Now if you are whaling on your kid and have lost all restraint, that's abuse.

[wallyfindme]

whup the butt. more fat there, easier on the kid. never liked slapping hands. knuckles get broke.
also not for the back of the leg bit. too easy to leave scars from the switch.
paddle on the butt? tender to sit for a day or so, but if done without anger, no permant damage.

[DOWNLOADnowADOBEphotoSHOP]

I know some who even with good hidings still became criminals, but those were also going that way anyhow..