[Creva4k]

Thursday March 15, 2012

Living in sex-citing times

SO AUNTY, SO WHAT?
By JUNE H. L. WONG

It seems Malaysian women and men are meeting as near equals in ... the bedroom. Now how did that happen?

WELL, enough has been said about the banning of a certain children's sex education picture book. What I want to natter about is a recent report on the state of sex among Malaysians. It's simply awesome: the latest Durex Sexual Well-Being Global Survey found that a whopping 81% of Malaysian women enjoy great sex.

Not only that, nine out of 10 Malaysian women, or 89%, agreed that sex brought them emotionally closer to their partners, and 88% even said they felt loved during sex. Now when did Malaysian men become such considerate and high-performing stallions in bed? And how?

Apparently, Durex interviewed 241 men and 265 women in Malaysia aged 18 and above. The news report did not provide details on the age breakdown so one can only make guesses how this blissful state has emerged. Perhaps most of the male respondents were below 35 and raised by mothers who taught them to respect and love women. And to always put the women's needs before their own.

They could also have been exposed to chick flicks and somehow figured out what women want, despite the neurotic, fickle and often ridiculous spins Hollywood puts on such female-centric films. Or women themselves have decided they won't be just passive lovers who must accept what their partners dish out to them in bed and are demanding more attention and action to reach sexual fulfilment.

If that's what's happening, then finally I can echo that old Virginia Slims cigarette ad: You've come a long way, baby! And add, you're smoking hot! What's more, if both men (89% say they have great sex) and women are finding sexual satisfaction, then surely the old taboos and Victorian belief that sex is only for procreation and not for pleasure are fast being discarded.

Mind you, some of the stuff that's going on these days makes you wonder if it is still circa 1900. But the truth is sexual liberation for women started on May 9, 1960, when the US Federal Drug Authority (FDA) approved the oral contraceptive the Pill. With that, women were finally in control over their reproductive health, and with the fear of unwanted pregnancies largely removed, new notions of sex and pleasure took off.

It must be said it was the baby boomers who led the sexual revolution and broke many of the taboos that cowed their mothers. And it is likely it is these baby boomer mums who have taught their sons and daughters well. Boom-boom mums grew up in the more relaxed and easy-going 1970s and 80s, were well educated and went on to become a force to be reckoned with in the workforce.

Some quarters (a.k.a. men) may bemoan the breaking down of the old “father as breadwinner, mother as housewife” mould and say that's the cause of the increase in divorces. There's probably some truth to it but others (a.k.a. women) see it as the crumbling of a very unfair power structure. Now, men are no longer lords and masters over their womenfolk and the modern marriage has become a partnership between equals.

So what if that makes some men who want to cling to the old ways unhappy? Why should women stay unhappy to make them happy? By the same token, women don't have to take anything they don't like lying down any more. But really, what do men have to complain about? Almost 90% of them are getting their satisfaction. And you don't get that if you are sleeping with planks.

The battle of the sexes is far from over but it sure gladdens my heart to know that in one battleground the bedroom there are only victors. The battleground is now a jolly playground. We can still do more to teach young people about safe sex because despite enlightened parenting, Internet and MTV, misconceptions and misfires can happen.

I remember reading about a married couple who failed to conceive. When they finally consulted a doctor, they soon discovered the problem: the man was trying to make love to his wife's navel! Can't be much fun there. Human beings really only have two appetites grounded in physical desire: food and sex.

We Malaysians are already living in a food paradise. If the Durex survey is accurate, perhaps we aren't too far from creating another nirvana for ourselves.

Like I said: Awwwwesome!

The writer is proud to be a baby boomer, the generation that may be a little long in the tooth now but still has plenty of bite.