[SeLvesTr]

1. Be a macho asshole.
2. Cheat. Men are supposed to.
3. Hide money from your woman.
4. Have secret, elitist, Nazi anal sex with your buddies.
5. Keep lots of porn around to hurt your woman's feelings and make her constantly feel as if she isn't good enough.
6. Secretly read the Koran and believe in the male soul and female slave.
7. Never visit wussy places like Canada.

[tarmpriopay]

I NEVER WANTED TO BE A DAEMON.... I WANTED TO BE A

LUMBERJACK!!!

[Fuerfsanv]

1. Be a macho asshole.
2. Cheat. Men are supposed to.
3. Hide money from your woman.
4. Have secret, elitist, Nazi anal sex with your buddies.
5. Keep lots of porn around to hurt your woman's feelings and make her constantly feel as if she isn't good enough.
6. Secretly read the Koran and believe in the male soul and female slave.
7. Never visit wussy places like Canada.

Tommy. Tommy. Tommy.

[viagra_generic]

...SUCH A LITTLE NANCE.....


PROBABLY DENNIS KUSPINACH IN REAL LIFE.

[Barryrich]

8. Break up with women before things like Xmas and Venereal Disease/Valentine's Day so you don't have to spend money on her. Wait for her parachute lay to dump her and then take her back after she goes to the hole doctor.

9. Learn everything about sports so to prove you aren't gay.

10. Insist that you always need to "go out" and "hang with the dudes" when really you just want some strange.

[Beragagnu]

8. Break up with women before things like Xmas and Venereal Disease/Valentine's Day so you don't have to spend money on her. Wait for her parachute lay to dump her and then take her back after she goes to the hole doctor.

9. Learn everything about sports so to prove you aren't gay.

10. Insist that you always need to "go out" and "hang with the dudes" when really you just want some strange.

I'm sorry you're alone on Valetine's Day, Tommy. You don't have to be so bitter about it.

Here:



Hope that helps.

Better luck next year.

[pipojambo]

1. Be a macho asshole.
2. Cheat. Men are supposed to.
3. Hide money from your woman.
4. Have secret, elitist, Nazi anal sex with your buddies.
5. Keep lots of porn around to hurt your woman's feelings and make her constantly feel as if she isn't good enough.
6. Secretly read the Koran and believe in the male soul and female slave.
7. Never visit wussy places like Canada.

8. Wax your penis and walk around the house naked..
9. After cheating, build halos for your penis out of coat hanger wire and tape them on for penance..
10. Answer your wife with terse, one word replies.. like: "Shit" "Fuuuuck" and "Bitch" (Scratching your balls while doing this is A++!!)

[oxixernibioge]

11. Giggle hysterically when someone gets hurt..

[mirex]

12. While dining in fine restaurants, make obscene observations about the waitress.. "Wow! Look at the tits on that one, Mable!!?!??!? Why don't you have udders like that?"

[beriarele]

13. When doing business.. Cheat everyone for at least two dollars.. Then take that money and fold it into your wallet, imagining it's millions... and imagining you're JP Morgan or George Soros.
14. Never hire anyone who won't cheat.. Because they can't be trusted.. and probably just think they're better than you anyway.

[netamargr]

Sounds about right.

[Nypbscao]

15. PM Catholic Penis Pics to all the girlies on the forum.. (For bonus points, dress it up like the Pope!!!)

[Buyingtime]

16. When your wife is upset.. Begin the conversation with a crude reference to some female body part... Example: "Well.. What's got your titties out of balance today?"

[bredkumanfirst]

15. PM Catholic Penis Pics to all the girlies on the forum.. (For bonus points, dress it up like the Pope!!!)

Make sure you have a note in the pic that says hello. A nice touch.

[johnstylet]

Make sure you have a note in the pic that says hello. A nice touch.

Yeah.. Almost like a Rockwell painting..

[heinz_1966]

15. PM Catholic Penis Pics to all the girlies on the forum.. (For bonus points, dress it up like the Pope!!!)

Be sure to include the little hat!

Make it from a matchbook or something..

[maxfreemann]

17. Go hunting a lot. It doesn't matter what..

[freevideom]

18. Always negotiate for a lower price.. Regardless if you're at the supermarket or a car lot. Even if it's a few pennies at the deli. Chicks dig that.

[Sliliashdes]

19. Remember: There is no rape in marriage.. And "rape" is REALLY just surprise sex anyway.

[hasasnn2345tv]

20. Be sure to yell abusive statements while in traffic.. Regardless. THERE'S NO FAILING TOO SLIGHT!!!! YOU MUST SHOUT SPORTS LIKE COMMENTARY ON THEM ALL!!! Example: "Hey, grandma.. Turn off your blinker! The funeral home was two blocks back!! ... BITCH!!!"