[Caursedus]

Fortunately, I have had more experience with Thai woman than most on this forum. Some one who is married can only clam experience from one woman, but a single man mingles with many woman.

[Snuddyentaine]

Re: wedding engagement

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It is not the son in law that supports the family, it is the children help support their old parents.
Sin Sod is not set up to support the parents, and it is mostly set at the grooms ability to pay and is a show of good faith.
If the folks are ni need then they usually sell some land, either to the kids or just for money.
We have bought land from my mother in law.
If it is a farang then he usually is in a better shape to give a little more than the other kids if there is a need, but is not a rule of custom.
And Sin Sod is generally returned, so has nothing to do with lasting need.
__________________ This is the most accurate and sanest post I have seen this entire thread.

[DownloadMan]

Never happen boy, you have maybe had exp. with one and that is doubtful, no matter what clam you have had exp. with.
What with your blow ups and thumb and fingers, and imagination is about it.

You can't even claim the exp. thru marriage with one..none will marry you, the one you brag about dumped you for another guy,

[sessoorale]

There was another interesting question posted... someone asked "say if a Thai man marries a caucasian woman, does he give the lady's family sin sot?"

Any caucasian lady here with this experience?

[DownloadMan]

Are you required to pay Sin Sod if the girl is really a katoey??

I saw where a Brit guy was giving advise that if you are older and your kids is raised that you should come here and get a ladyboy cause they more feminine and treat ya better,, didn't specify pre or post op tho..

But I think I stick with the ones that come from the factory with the plumbing inside.

[sessoorale]

Opinions are like A**holes,,everybody has one.

I like this statement!

[DownloadMan]

"why are you paying what the Thai man won't normally be paying?" I have often asked myself that same question and always came up with the same answer..

Why should we be asked for more, we are all just people same as a Thai and seems like the woman would have as good a life if not better with a farang,
My wife is a divorcee who had been self supporting for 20 years, and I was asked to treat her well and was asked no Sin Sod.
Which is I think the same as if I would have been Thai,, so stay away from farang saturated places and go off into the real world.

[sessoorale]

It is not the son in law that supports the family, it is the children help support their old parents.
Sin Sod is not set up to support the parents, and it is mostly set at the grooms ability to pay and is a show of good faith.
If the folks are ni need then they usually sell some land, either to the kids or just for money.
We have bought land from my mother in law.
If it is a farang then he usually is in a better shape to give a little more than the other kids if there is a need, but is not a rule of custom.
And Sin Sod is generally returned, so has nothing to do with lasting need.

I was at the other forum and they were discussing about this sin sot issue as well. So this guy was asking whether is it fair for his future wife who's from the village and in her mid 30s, and divorcee to ask for 400,000baht sin sot and 2 baht gold? He further adds actually its the mother who was requesting it.... so the feedbacks as we can imagine range from, "oh, you should pay as long as you can afford" to "you're a fool to pay for used goods". I think one of the best questions posted was "why are you paying what the Thai man won't normally be paying?"

[boltondd]

I'm getting married to my girlfriend in May 2007. She is the middle daughter (out of three daughters) and both of her parents are deceased. I'm unsure if I'll even pay sinsod in the first place. My girl told me I would pay something then they would give it back to us and if THAT'S the case then sure, I can fork over 450,000B - no problem buddy! However, if they plan on keeping that, then there is no possible way I can afford it. My girl knows how hard I work and she especially knows how dangerous my job is.

Just do what you are comfortable with, throw a party that will be remembered for years to come, and above all, be happy!

And a stray thought; instead of worrying about Sin Sod why not put $5000 in her bank account so that she can feel financially secure when she embarks on her new adventure next May. That way she does not have to feel quite so isolated when she comes to the US after your marriage.

[DownloadMan]

Not really, but there was mostly desert around his house and no rocks so his mom used his head for a doorstop..

[DownloadMan]

Nigel and if you agreed with all of my personal opinions they would most likely lock you up. Opinions are like A**holes,,everybody has one.

[DownloadMan]

Might be, but I was asked no sin sod and given land for a home and my wife was given many rai for farming if we wished which is in harvestable timber plantation at this time.

And the Thai Friend of mine across the road has some land, over 100 head of cattle and he paid 8K sin sod, and he damn sure aint broke.

[parurorges]

If it is the son-in-law that helps to support the family then there would only be the possibility for 1 instead of 2 while at the same time they would have 2 of their sons supporting different families.

[detskpit]

Thaks a lot for your replies people, im really learning a lot with your coments, but i still have some doubts.

Whats the meaning of bath gold?

And... as long as i can see, everything depends of the parents will, so i should have a kind of negotiation with them, can anybody explainme what are the terms of this negotiations?

[DownloadMan]

Hell of an idea Peter,,should really work.

[eskimosik]

I paid for the wedding, but I didn't pay a dowry directly--my in-laws were very kind and told me to keep the money to pay for the wedding and use to start our family. You need to talk with your fiance and future in-laws about it.

I hate to say this, but be wary, too. If they ask for an exorbitant amount and aren't planning to give it back or to pay for the wedding as FiP said, then that's likely only the beginning, and you'll be seen as a perpetual source of free money. I'm fortunate to have in-laws who are nothing like that at all, but because I've seen several friends face this situation, I feel I should mention it. Especially in rural Thailand, bagging a farang husband is often seen as a great source of income for the wife's whole family. It's a booming industry, I even read an article about it on the front page of one of the business dailies!

[Drysnyaty]

is it very embarrassing to discuss these things with the bride herself, ask at least the basic questions on paying, or how come so many people come for advice on sin sot who don't have the slightest idea? I'm not being disgustingly negative, just don't understand.

[detskpit]

My Question is:

Groom always have to pay bride´s parents before wedding?

And in that case, how much? is that a simbol or its an important amount of money?


thank u very much

[DownloadMan]

Betti, as you know, some that talk about it and give advise have never been involved with a Thai or have never had a chance to be involved long enough to even consider Sin Sod, sometimes they can't see past their nose. 555

Thai pay sin sod when they are being married, so why should a farang be any different and refuse to consider it.
If you do not like our customs and ways then you can always stay home and we will get along just fine from never having had to see you or put up with your shit..

But of coarse I know that some who give all the advise on all subjects have never had any contact with what they are talking about..

[Caursedus]

I personally would not pay Sin Sod, for two reasons
1) Many Thai's consider farangs as being wealthy, and in many cases do not pay the Sin Sod back after the wedding, as some Thai's think the cost is not significant for a farang. To me it is to open to exploitation.
2) Thai people should also respect your culture, it is not your role to bend over backwoods to bow to there culture, and in western culture it is not customary to pay Sin Sod, but it is customary for the brides family to pay for the wedding, So I would go for a compromise, share the cost of the wedding equally and not pay the Sin Sod.