[BlackBird]

Moderator's Note:

The rest of the thread has been moved to "Why would one work toward an outcome (any outcome)?" at General Buddhist Discussion Forum:

Thanks to all for the advice/input. What andyrobin and Esho have said about how awareness of progress is realized makes a lot of sense. With improvement and progress being evident, one continues to practice with confidence of the outcome.

My issue was this: why would one work towards an outcome (any outcome)? Surely it is because they want the outcome to come about, or else why work at it? To want an outcome to come about is to desire the (perceived) results of the outcome.

I no longer desire non-confusion though. I accept that my practice is driven by desire, and I hope to someday overcome this desire. Sure this is not an "ideal" state-of-mind, and desiring anything no longer makes sense to me, but it is reality at the moment. And I'm okay with not making sense (especially if I'm aware of it).

Element, my home internet connection does not support watching videos. I was hoping to watch it last week during school, but I did not have time. Hopefully I'll have time this coming week.

Again, I truly appreciate everybody taking the time to share their input and advice.