[Lxbsvksl]

I have been reading the bardo thodol. I have no school (mahayana vedanta or otherwise). All the identities seem to cloud my perception of the present. I don't feel like I am here to be smart or even influential. I just crave to express the love and compassion that overwhelms me.

I would do this in public but I do not know the appropriate avenues for this. Anyhow, how can we achieve this and at the same time sort of let go of our own tainted egos. It's like ohh look at that guy or that group and do as they do (wear a uniform). This scares me cause I know that there is Buddha-nature in all of us.

I am very scared to cast judgement as they are good or bad or even judge things as a they and us. I feel that I am waking from a long sleep full of hells and pitfalls. But somehow through it all I feel that the bodhisattva Avalokiteshvara chenrezig has been so patient sort of smiling at all things confident that a more universal wake up call is at hand.

So anyhow I am new at all of this. I have so much to learn. I am scared cause I am at the end of myself and I do not know where to turn. My heart tells me to give all my things away and go to where I can be of any possible assistance to all the others who are scared here in samsara.

I can understand where you are speaking from and how you feel about these things. Buddhism, Taoism, Hinduism, Zen, etc. have a particular viewpoint on how to obtain peace, happiness, and oneness within ourselves, while others philosophical ideas and religions have other formats for trying to explain the same basic truths. I understand that you are trying to understand what you are feeling and thinking through the Buddhist perspective but, I also feel there is a wealth of knowledge out there to be drawn from apart from that. In seeking unity within yourself, the feeling in you will become lighter and more cohesive to your thoughts and your observations of the world will fall into harmony with the way you know the world should be. Once you do for yourself what you wish to do with those around you, then you will know how and to whom you should share this love with. You'll obtain a sort of automatic sensor for such things.

May I suggest a book? It's called "Getting The Love You Want", A Guide for Couples, by Harville Hendrix, Ph.D. You can read through it and begin to practice the concepts, even if you are single. You do not need to be in a romantic relationship to gain something from reading it. Its a good start for where I believe you are at but, you would know better. A quote from the book in quoting an other: "Out beyond ideas of wrong doing and right doing, there is a field. I will meet you there" ~ from the poet Rumi