[FateHostera]

Hello Y'all:
I'd like the groups' feedback/understanding of Buddhism and emotional expression.
Several paradigms compete for my attention. There's one (esp. seen in the media) of men and women with shaved heads with quiet voices and a calm affect. Another is the Zen story about the student who asks his master "What is enlightenment?" His master replies, "When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep."
Is it appropriate carry that idea over to the emotional sphere?- "When you're sad, be sad. When you're content, be content."
I do understand that emotions, like everything else, are transitory and are nothing to be attached to. Sometimes, in my reading, I get the sense that feeling and expressing emotion is a bit frowned upon.
I'm not comfortable with that. Doesn't seem healthy to me.
My guess that a Buddhist paradigm re. dealing with one's emotions is something like this:
While you are feeling a particular emotion, be with that feeling fully. If needful, express the emotion skillfully. Then, as it passes, let it go.
Feed back is very welcome.
Metta to all,
Bill

[creewespock]

While you are feeling a particular emotion, be with that feeling fully. If needful, express the emotion skillfully

Hmm, I wonder if this isn't getting a little close to the idea of if one is angry one should punch a pillow to let it out ? If I'm in a rage and feel like punching you, Bill, how would I express it skillfully ? Punch you gently ?

If one becomes fully aware of the emotion and relaxes with the breath in the midst of it , it subsides by itself.

In general I think its always important to learn to recognise our emotions when they arise and that they are impermanent. If we cling to them and dwell on them, we're solidifying the feeling rather than just letting it go. Seeing ourselves, our emotions, and everything else as constantly changing can help us to accept whatever is happening at any particular moment

If we also change our motivation to accept situations which we can't seem to alter, then our minds will become more peaceful and we might even be better able to deal with them as a result.

[Soresbox]

In general I think its always important to learn to recognise our emotions when they arise and that they are impermanent. If we cling to them and dwell on them, we're solidifying the feeling rather than just letting it go. Seeing ourselves, our emotions, and everything else as constantly changing can help us to accept whatever is happening at any particular moment

I agree with this.

When in zen is told to be sad when you are sad it is meaning not to strugle with your emotion. Sadness will leave you sooner than you think... Watch your sadness, be mindfull about it. Accept that sadnes is ariseing and let it go.

The same with other emotions... when you feel angry watch your anger, do not struggle with it, do not fed it, don't use it, just watch it, there is nothing wrong about your anger... until you let it go.

Do not say: he has make me angry... say I am feeling angry and watch that anger... be mindfull about it... and let it go.

[KaterinaNJq]

from post #1

I feel I can understand your post Bill dear. Many people thinks that the practice of Buddhism is about not feeling anything and being impresonal avoiding any kind of emotion.

Nothing more far than that because Buddhist practice is about being mindfull about emotions in a sense to master them at the time they arise.

In zen we practice zazen with the Ten Bull teaching. For us is the cornerstone of our meditation practice and it has nothing to do with being emotionless about life.

[illignocearia]

If one becomes fully aware of the emotion and relaxes with the breath in the midst of it , it subsides by itself.

I love this quote, Aloka.

Now where did I see that before?

So simple, but so profound. I've been learning this lately myself. Instead of reacting to these emotions, I try (my best) to become aware, like you said, and maybe examine them a little bit. It is a little easier to see that they too, are "empty". Also, many of these emotions are just effects, which means they need a cause.

Oh and I guess by the time you do all that, the emotion may subside, or you may even be lucky enough to forget why you were mad or upset in the first place! Just kidding...

[Dokescoonse]

It's not a quote from somewhere else to my knowledge, Mani . It really does work though, if you can suddenly be aware of the emotion and relax into it when its full strength ! ....I think its a Nyingma practice originally.

[SodeSceriobia]

It's not a quote from somewhere else to my knowledge, Mani

Bad joke on my part there. Poor humor like this gets lost over the web, but I think you gave similar advice on another forum. Very relevant to helping people deal with emotions!

[dselectronics]

similar advice on another forum.

Oh yes probably. You've got a better memory than me, I suffer from braingone a lot.

[Cerilopasei]

Sometimes, in my reading, I get the sense that feeling and expressing emotion is a bit frowned upon.
I'm not comfortable with that

Well quite bluntly the practise isn't interested in whether you are "comfortable with that"
Please don't wallow in emotions, it is weak and not conducive to developing the strength needed to break through.

[pesty4077]

Emotions are important. They give us essential and necessary feedback regarding our relationship and interaction with the appearances and circumstances that make up our life. We benefit from experiencing them, listening to them, and expressing them.

Our practice is to not become enslaved to them - chase, avoid, deny them, or identify by them. In our practice, we note that they arise and dissipate, and that their nature is empty - practicing restraint without reacting as we observe these energies move within us.

Our on-the-cushion practice of noting these moving energies but not being consumed or driven by them lets us express them naturally and skillfully in ways that are beneficial to daily life rather than dissatisfying and destructive.

In this way, we're not ruled by our passions and they become valuable gifts and tools.

[mXr8icOB]

I was just looking to see what Ajahn Brahm has to say about emotions in his book ''Mindfulness Bliss and Beyond."

He says:

"When you are deluded by emotions, you take them to be important, and 'mine'. You can get so sucked in that you seek even unpleasant emotions like sadness repeatedly. Why is it that many people go to a movie with a box of tissues, knowing, from reviews that it is a tearjerker? It is because they are attached to emotions, delight in them, and identify with them. They don't want to be free.

Superpower mindfulness focused on emotions uncovers the reality of whether you want to be free or not. It pushes aside your preferences. You recognise that emotions are seductive sirens beckoning you to their treacherous rocks. But in their essence they are but mind objects, causally conditioned, like weather fronts passing overhead, having nothing to do with you. When you see the truth, you are detached from emotions and free from their tyranny. "



I think this is very true. Certainly in the West we have a tendancy to indulge in emotional reactions to everything. Ajahn Brahm has already given the example of movies and if we look at literature, music etc etc a lot of it is a feast of emotional indulgence over imaginary situations, just for the sake of it. Furthermore we can regard it as somehow 'good' and 'healthy' .

Opera is an interesting example of that with somebody taking ages to die as they sing an emotional and dramatic aria and so forth...and everybody loves it and has the tissues in action....again and again. So I think we have to examine all of that too, noticing how we have constant reactions to 'entertainments' which are illusory situations anyway.

Just as 'all the world's a stage' when we follow emotional reactions to 'entertainments' ....so it is with the rest of our lives.

Disagree with this post ? Watch your reactions.

[forebirdo]

from post #13

There is an article by Ajahn Brahms on you tube called Dealing With The Emotions

[nilliraq]

from post #12

I share this understanding Pink dear,

[Herimoisige]

"Opera is samsara personified in my experience...for those who don't enjoy, this is especially so"
- Thanks, andyrobyn!
That made me laugh out loud.

[sFs4aOok]

Emotions are important. They give us essential and necessary feedback regarding our relationship and interaction with the appearances and circumstances that make up our life. We benefit from experiencing them, listening to them, and expressing them.

Our practice is to not become enslaved to them - chase, avoid, deny them, or identify by them. In our practice, we note that they arise and dissipate, and that their nature is empty - practicing restraint without reacting as we observe these energies move within us.

Our on-the-cushion practice of noting these moving energies but not being consumed or driven by them lets us express them naturally and skillfully in ways that are beneficial to daily life rather than dissatisfying and destructive.

In this way, we're not ruled by our passions and they become valuable gifts and tools.

Quoted for emphasis. This seems to me to be a wholesome and skillful explanation.

[allemnendup]

Freedom in Buddhism is not freedom from emotions; it is freedom from complicating them.

Very good.

[cut sifted ephedra sinica]

from post #1

If one is truly One where would emotions come from?

[rfceicizgm]

If one is truly One where would emotions come from?

Hi dimndctr and welcome to the group !

What does"If one is truly One" mean ?

How do you deal with your emotions yourself?

Kind regards,


Aloka

[Paladin]

Another is the Zen story about the student who asks his master "What is enlightenment?" His master replies, "When hungry, eat. When tired, sleep."

For us, When we crave, we eat. When we lazy, we sleep.

We are depended on "Kilesa" - impurities. The Enlightenment eat and sleep because body need. But we eat and sleep because mind need.

For my opinion, We observe the emotion that arise to mind, not break them and not boost them but For body to let them express out or not , depend on each situation.

[enasseneiff]

where would emotions come from?

Emotions come from our ego and ego is nothing but thought. Luckily, thought can be separated.

What I mean by this is that our ego to whom we are attached and cater all sorts of emotional reactions to, is made out of nothing but thoughts. It can be separated, to gain some calm and clarity.

If you ask yourself the question "who am i" and meditate on it, you'll realise the observer and the observation (who am i) are one.

Realising this will help us pay less attention to our ego, knowing where it comes from, will help make us react to situations better when necessary, given we are mindful. (I mean, if this person inside that says is us, is nothing more than thought, how hard can it be to hush him/her up when necessary?)

Personally, I know the above somewhat intellectually, but if I am mindful of my ego and remember what it really is, at least when I remember to, it helps me react better to certain situations, by concentrating say for example on the breath. That's how I sometimes avoid bad reactions that would not only bring my poor ego down, but also others around me.

That said, this doesn't mean all emotions should be ignored like this. Enjoy the good ones, and discard the bad ones only to make way for more good ones.