[escolubtessen]

Hello guys,

Apologies about the delay. I was stuck back home because of the Icelandic volcano, so I took the time to spend 3 more days at the beach and then worked the rest of the days. Just got back to uni yesterday.

Day 7
By this day I decided that I wasn't going to go home. Likewise I decided I'm not going to beat myself down if I wasn't practising as I was told. I slept in during the 04.30 - 06.30 meditation period and spent a bit more time outdoors during the non-group meditation hours. I was doing mostly "ana pana" to build sati.

On day 7 I remembered that we were told that it was better karma to help out anyone personally instead of giving money. I noticed on the other days that people were sometimes raking leaves in the garden or some other form of work quietly and in meditation (I assume). So during the 15.30 to 17.00 meditation session, I left halfway through and I got an urge to do something for the meditation retreat centre. I washed the shared bathroom. I brushed the floor with soap and washed it of and squeegee'd the floor, without any feelings of being grossed out, instead I was feeling good about it. I flooded an ant hill accidentally though, near the entrance to the bathroom.

After I got back from the tea break, I saw muddy foot prints on the bathroom floor I had just cleaned. The first thing I thought was "anicca", impermanence. Remembering that made me feel good.

Day 8
During breakfast on day 8 the guru came in and told me, "How are you feeling, you're going home day after tomorrow". At that I smiled and went on to have breakfast. That kept me going for the rest of the day. I was doing more ana pana and during my breaks I walked all around the meditation compound.

During the interview with my guru, he taught me some more dhamma, and something odd happened. Either a big coincidence or something more going on, he told me meditation was like cleaning a bathroom, your mind would get dirty if you don't keep cleaning it. I shook my head in affirmation. I was wondering how he knew I cleaned the bathroom, because no one saw me, except one of the meditating monks who was passing by for Tea the day before (monks got to go for their food/tea earlier, as is culturally customary out of respect).

I was talking about that on day 9 with a half jewish Argentinean man, whether if other religious authorities came on the retreat if they would get the same treatment. I'd imagine the same rules would apply out of respect.

Day 9
Much like Day 8, this day went quite easy. I continued to do "ana pana", but I'd be lying if I didn't say I was thinking I was going home tomorrow, which made it easier, and made me pay a little bit less attention to what I was supposed to have been doing.

In addition to that, we were allowed to talk with the other students and break the noble silence tomorrow, which was some what exciting.

Day 10
Breaking of noble silence happened at 10am (if I remember right, sorry, it's been a while now).

The final hour before it, we were taught Metta meditation. It was slightly different to what I've been practising but the essence was the same. The difference came in the words that were said, but it was the feeling that was most important.

After we broke silence, I ended up meeting some really interesting people from all over the world and all walks of life.

The timetable was different on day 10, we only had the group sittings and the video discourse. The group sittings now ended with about an extra 20 minutes of Metta meditation. The idea was introduced to us to always do Metta meditation after Viapassana and that the two forms of meditation would benefit from each other.

On day 10 a lot of students talked till quite late and people went up to the highest point in the compound after night fall and chatted some more.

Although I had thought during the day on day 9 that I was going home early on day 10, I found out from the other students that day 10 was a full day of meditation and we actually go home on day 11. But being able to talk with people made day 10 go by fast.

I wondered if my guru told me on purpose that I was going home "day after tomorrow" on day 8. Either way, it made it easier for me, I felt. Although, I was doing less and less meditation since the feelings of "yay I'm going home in a couple of days".


Day 11
Final day. We had the first group sitting, then after breakfast people were free to go. I exchanged contacts with people and said farewell and sat down under a tree waiting for my ride with some new friends who were waiting for their tour company to pick them up.


Then, here's the not so "good" part, on the way back from the retreat, I stopped for lunch and had a piece of chicken.


Has it changed me?
Most certainly has, but not in a huge life changing, miraculous way. I'll come to know soon. I learnt a lot, and just knwoing I was able to do this for 10 days, gives me a sense of strength. I will return for another retreat in a couple of months or an year, as work permits. For the time being, I need to continue my practice, as little or much as possible, that's the most important part.