[Gintovtosik]

Ok, so I'm 15. I struggled with depression for 10 months before I found Buddhism. But, the past few days ive been feeling extremly down and my low self esteem is returning. Meditation isn't working so I'm sorta lost. Any advise how to make this stop before it gets out of hand again?

[AndyColemants]

Hello Eli,

Do you live with your family ?

Have you talked to a parent or relative about your depression ? .....or maybe you could speak to a teacher at school ?

I hope that perhaps you can try to do this and confide in someone trusted who is older than yourself if you seriously feel you cant cope - but sometimes we get temporary feelings about different things and then they just dissolve again if we don't hold on to them.

[WenPyclenoWex]

hi Eli

i am sorry to read you are feeling suffering &, of course, I deeply wish that your mind is free from feeling suffering

the opposite of low self-esteem is feeling love for oneself & having enthusiasm for things

you certainly inspired us all, a few days ago, when telling us your story about meditating in the park, with the young boy

myself, i am an old man. when i was 15 years old, teenage depression was not common, in fact, to our knowledge, it did not exist

but, when i was 15 years old, we were mostly oblivious to life; we just ran around, played sport, went to the beach, and did not worry about school; most, if not all of us, had mother & father at home; we came home, and food & everything else was there for us

today, i read teenage depression is common. for my own research, i found this site, which seemed to validate some of my assumptions

my personal assumption is youth of today, such as yourself, receive a lot more messages that challenge one's personal & natural self-image. further, possibly, there may be much more competitiveness & comparativeness at school; socially, academically & even sexually. possibly, families are less stable &/or divided

at least from a Buddhist perspective, 'comparing mind' is something very dangerous, because it alientates us from ourselves & diminishes our innate love & respect of ourselves

***

i am not sure how easy it is for a 15 year old to relate to Buddhism. but you obviously are naturally drawn to Buddhism and you are obviously a more searching & sensitive person than i was when i was 15 years old

but, regarding the matter of self-esteem, in Buddhism, having loving-kindness, i.e., a non-judgemental attitude towards oneself & others; having awareness of non-harming; having awareness of one's own good qualities & providing benefit to the world are important contributors to self-esteem

it terms of providing benefit to the world, Buddha taught we can give at least three gifts to the world: (1) material gifts & helpful acts; (2) the gift of safety (non-harming); & (3) the gift of Dhamma

as i already mentioned, in Buddhism, self-esteem in generated by:

1. reflecting on our good qualities. however, to do this, we must have an appreciation of what is truely good & wholesome. Buddha explained extensively about what attitudes of mind are truely good & wholesome

2. being aware we are not harming others or ourselves; that we are an object of safety in the world. often, the things we may use as a basis of comparison have some harmful aspect. it is important for us to investigate (if comparing mind is occuring) the value of the things we may be using as a basis of comparison

3. find a way or place to do some good deeds for others

***

when i was 15 years old, i had no interest in religion. but as you are interested in Buddhism, i personally only have the capacity to share Buddhism with you as though you are an adult

Buddha is an image & reality of loving-kindness, of peace & the best life can offer us. Buddha taught the gift of Dhamma is the best of all gifts

life itself, the world, human society, is not always something pleasant. today, there are more & more pressures on people, including on youth. this is why we say Dhamma is the best life can offer us. it is not something 'flashy' but it is reliable; it is a refuge

if we trust in the Buddha & his teachings, this can bring us confidence & joy. but to do this, we often have to let go of the standards of the world. we also have to reflect deeply on the virtues of Buddha; to know in our heart his goodness, peace & care

***

i suppose the above posting is what came from my heart & mind, to respond to your post

i would like you to not have negative views about yourself; to have a mind of non-judging; and to feel naturally well-being within you

when you cared about the child in the park, i would like you to feel the same sense of care towards your own life

try to breath; and feel the peace & strength of the breath

if you have friend, like your girlfriend, try to generate some caring thoughts towards her; and even tell her you care for her friendship

with metta

element

***

[tropicana]

Hi again Eli,

Its possible that you might find this video (6.27 minutes) interesting. It's Jon Kabat-Zinn who is the founder of "Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction" which is used as a therapy in the USA, the UK and other countries.

[Necedofer]

Meditation isn't working so I'm sorta lost.

Hi Eli

We've all been there.

Have some trust (and instruction), 'cause when we think it isn't working, that is when the work is being done.

Endurance is your friend.

Any advise how to make this stop before it gets out of hand again?

It is only natural to think alot about life and everything at your age, and sometimes to feel lost or estranged.

If I were you, I wouldn't take it all too seriously: school, parents, society, gf, life, Buddhism.

When we look on ourself a few years from now, it won't seem all that important anymore.

But the essential things will find its way into ones heart, even if one doesn't expect it.

(Also, chemical imbalance may cause emotional imbalance, so if you haven't done it before, you should check with the doc.)

Greetings
nibbuti

[ligeplodore]

Ok, so I'm 15. I struggled with depression for 10 months before I found Buddhism. But, the past few days ive been feeling extremly down and my low self esteem is returning. Meditation isn't working so I'm sorta lost. Any advise how to make this stop before it gets out of hand again?

Meditation does not end depression. Meditation is like a hammer. Hammers do not hammer in nails. The carpenter does!

Get out of your room. Go out do something. I promise you will feel better.
Do something you like to do. Go to a place you never been before and do something you have never done before. With someone you like to spend time with. Go for coffe with a boy/girl (whatever your flavor) you want to get to know better.

You are young and the world is full of things you got to do before you die. You have not got the TIME to be depressed man/girl!

You feel depressed? Bugger that. You have time to feel depressed later when you are my age.

For now. Have fun. Be crazy. Low selfesteem? Forget it. Nobody has the right to put you down least of all you yourself! Use your elbows if need be to promote yourself!

Life is wasted on he young they say. Go out and waste it!


Hey ya dude/dudette. You need medication? Go to a doctor and see. Pronto! Then on your way backhome you can do some fun stuff.

Big hug
/Victor

[poonnassunlix]

I am not the best to give personal advice on this kind of thing, but I will try to give a little advice and perspective as it relates to Buddhism...

I'm not sure how seriously interested in Buddhism you have become, but when I took part in my refuge ceremony, the teacher gave a little talk before and during the actual ceremony. One thing that was touched upon was that when one takes refuge in the 3 jewels (the Buddha, his teachings and the assembly of monks and laypeople who help support our practice) this should give us a real sense of optimism that can counter these feelings. The confidence that can come as a result is great, similar to that of really connecting with a teacher.

I know that this is quite broad, but when we truly begin to "mingle our minds with the dharma" as it was put, then this can help very much. This was my personal experience when I first began practicing and studying Buddhism as well for what it's worth. Some people may wonder "how does this relate to daily life and real situations?", but as we understand more about Buddhism in terms of samsara and suffering and alternatively the ways in which we can become liberated from them, this sense of refuge becomes more and more real and natural.

Also, you are actually very fortunate to have an interest in Buddhism. Having said that, this situation provides you with many methods to overcome these kinds of feelings- not by usual means of temporarily feeling better by distracting our minds with the many forms of entertainment and other ways, but by understanding our minds a little better and understanding why we all feel some form of dissatisfaction.

Actually, from my experience, it is a similar sense of dissatisfaction and restlessness that led me to discover Buddhism. So in this way it just may be part of the conditions surrounding our own karma.

In terms of meditation practice, I think no matter what kind of method one is practicing I think it is important to keep in mind that from a Buddhist perspective we are not practicing meditation for a short term purpose. Yes, meditation has all sorts of short term benefit's, but it is more geared towards the long haul. Some people like to pracitice when they are feeling down, as they feel it makes them feel a little better, calmer or whatever. Others will only practice when things are pleasant. I think it is best to try to make the conscious decision to practice no matter what the outer circumstances. I think this will help the actual meditation practice as well by fostering some equanimity (or equal mindedness) towards pleasant situations and not so pleasant ones. This can help our actual practice. Our minds are so used to placing our experience into 3 main categories: pleasant, unpleasant, and indifferent. We tend to categorize our thoughts in a similar way during meditation. So it is good practice to treat all thoughts with this sense of equanimity instead of trying to get rid of certain thoughts and encourage other ones. By practicing in this way, it can help us in our everyday lives to not get so caught up in our experiences.

Hope this helps a little, In the meantime, don't give up!

Terma

[gettoblaster]

Thanks for your help everyone . Between all of your posts and my loved ones, I'm ok now. I was acting very dramatic anyhow.

[forebirdo]

Thanks for your help everyone . Between all of your posts and my loved ones, I'm ok now. I was acting very dramatic anyhow.

I'm very happy to know that all's well, Eli - and I'm sure everyone else is too.


Lots of good wishes to you

[lrUyiva1]

Thanks for your help everyone . Between all of your posts and my loved ones, I'm ok now. I was acting very dramatic anyhow.

No problem, Eli. We can notice how moods of the mind change & resolve.

However, another aspect of depression you may wish to explore is that of craving or wanting. Buddha taught mental afflictions have their root in wanting, which includes not wanting to experience bad experiences. Not wanting, anger, etc, is also a form of wanting.

Whilst not demonising or condemning 'wanting', instead, you may consider investigating any kinds of wanting related to your depressive mood.

That is, write them down, as a self-exploration. Articulate any wantings & the objects of wantings to yourself.

Kind wishes

Element