[Nupbeaupeteew]

Me?

[VrQsgM7c]

Estimate me!

[bellson]

DO ME LAZ. DO ME.

[saumemeva]

Blackcat- Virgin

Asher- Initital mid-teen same-sex fumblings followed by a minor crisis in which you bedded a young lady who looked like Annie Lennox, and you cried a bit afterwards. Raced into the arms of your current SO and stayed there, although you're still straight for Natalie Portman.

[Eujacwta]

KrazyHorse- your lavishly-waged wife bought you outright, and now makes you dance for her every night while she slips banknotes in your thong.

[newspetty]

DriXnaK- Total anus slut. You've prolapsed so far and so often that you can wear your own rectum like a pashmina.

[BriKevin]

Saw something gay coming a mile away. Thought you might come up with something a little more original, but I guess your limits were set lower than I first expected. Surprising since I had them set pretty low.

But aren't you gay?

[Khurlxgq]

Lets see how close to the truth you'll get with me.

[GrottereewNus]

You have a vanity organization, at least give people their threads.

[9Goarveboofe]

Saw something gay coming a mile away. Thought you might come up with something a little more original, but I guess your limits were set lower than I first expected. Surprising since I had them set pretty low.

Who mentioned anything about you having sex with men?

[st01en_lox]

Vanity thread.

Coming to terms with the fact that you can only climax in the presence of women who remind you of your mother.

[G8whlTAe]

Al, you of all people really can't be talking to me about being gay. When you stop playing with your pink dumbbells and wearing your baby blue polo with super tight jeans with fake fading, maybe you'll be able to come off with some masculinity.

I think you just officially outed yourself there...

[jinnsamys]

Most of my sexual history is already a matter of public record and conveniently available for your listening pleasure, but I am curious to see how the spoken word tales of my exploits have been perceived across the pond. Have at me, sir.

[etdgxcnc]

Are they on iTunes?


Yes. Also available on Amazon.

[botagozzz]

Go ahead.

[Wetekemieluth]

I'm game. This thread is ****ing hilarious.

[Doncarlito]

Since mine will inevitably involve a mattress sales comment, I think I can guess how it will go.

Good thing I've never mentioned the subway platform fondling.

[estheticianI]

Ben, everyone here knows your sexual history.

[hygtfrdes]

WHOAH WHEN DID BK LEAVE MY IGNORE LIST? **** i better put him back

edit:

[Anfester]

Dashi- I get the impression there's a long history with Hispanic prostitutes going on there. And you prefer in-car action to motels.

Dauphin- A GODDAMNED SEXUAL SUPERNOVA! That respectable career in accountancy is a mere cover for the fact that you've left a trail of blood and spunk across three continents. Possibly the only way of expressing what it would be like to have sex with you would be to insert vibrating electrified plugs into every orifice and then hurling oneself down a long flight of stairs.

Cockney- Still yearning after Old London's vices, even after all those years away. After learning, at an impressionable age, of the infamous Southwark Soaks, your ideal women is Flemish and wearing the sort of clothes fashionable in 1350. You have spent the intervening years asking modern-day hookers for a Twopenny Upright and getting brutally beaten by their pimps.

Drake- our first zoophile! The clues are all there in the dog-basket lined with satin sheets, and the fridge stocked with paté in the bedroom, and let us all give thanks to the unusually muscular and probing tongues of Springer Spaniels.

self biased- I think if we just let them Google "With the benefit of hindsight, possibly ill-advised dabbling in orgiastic excesses" they'll eventually find that secret blog.

Kuci- Happy endings from the valet, of course. "Carruthers? Attend to this, at once."

Flubber- Fluffer. Hey, it's a job.

Guynemer- An eminently respectable series of conventionally heterosexual couplings within the context of steady relationships, spiced up with a brief dabbling in scat and a crippling addiction to the adult channels in hotels.

Oncle Boris- Pansexual. In your history, you have embraced all categories of humanity with love and generosity, and you scoff at quaint old-fashioned notions of pigeon-holed sexuality. Tragically, they have not embraced you back.

Boris G- A bass, I believe? That places you firmly into "Bear" territory. Being unaware of the technicalities and finer conventions of man-love I've formed the impression the Bear action involves lots of bellowing and mauling. Possibly resembling two shambling heaps of biceps and buttocks being tied into a sack full of body hair and left to fight it out.

Ben K- I think everyone's expecting it to be "virgin", but your debating style shows clear indications of tertiary syphilis. It's a puzzling one. Have you ever noticed that your bedtime milk tastes strangely reminiscent of rohypnol?

Jack Rudd- Virgin.

Slowwhand- It's been so long that I'm not sure anyone remembers. Did it involve corsets and bustles at any point?