[zCLadw3R]

So essentially I dont see why women put up with men at all except out of societal and biological pressures.

Some men may have to be 'put up with', but some women have to be 'put up with' too. I reckon it works both ways.

Both sides gain from a committed relationship to share the cost of living.

[Darlmtgq]

We still live in a patriarchy. Women do not have any leverage within mainstream culture.

In the niches where patriarchy doesn't exist men are not needed (and using or exploiting them is still "needed") nor are they tolerated if they act with the same machismo and chauvinism that is typical to our society.

[Accor$314]

Originally posted by Flubber
I actually think that women do pretty well. Men pretty much want sex while women want all the security of a committed relationship. Ask most married men how much sex is happening and you get a sense of who is actually getting what they want That is oversimplification to the extreme. Happily married men want companionship as much as the women do. If they didn't want that, then they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Married for sex? That's preposterous in this day and age.

[qCGfQR9T]

*holds up hand

Except for the lack of sex part.

[Diwokfkq]

Originally posted by KrazyHorse
Marriage is a silly, outdated tradition.

It holds virtually no real power any more in a world of pre-nups and easy divorces. Point two doesn't lead to point one. All it means is that it's easier to leave a marriage if you want to. It says nothing about those who are happy to be in a marriage. For them, it is not a "silly tradition."

[wJswn5l3]

Why'd you go to the expense then?

[wasssallx]

Originally posted by DinoDoc
Why'd you go to the expense then? To make her happy.

[adultcheee]

Originally posted by Wycoff
I can agree with that. The problem is that too many people tend to conflate marriage as you've defined it with the concept of a longterm, committed, monogamous relationship between two people who love each other. People who attack the first concept as "silly and outdated" often say the same about the second concept. I never called marriage silly. I just think that if people are going to go about and use that term, they'd better damn well realize what it entails.

Too many people don't. It cheapens it, ruins it, and does far more damage to it than two boys having the buttsecks with each other ever could.

Is it outmoded? In some ways, yes. There's no need for the attached baggage that comes with the term in many cases: the property, the obeying, all that bollocks. These days, divorces and splits are so easy that in half of all marriages, they could conceivably save themselves a whole shitload of trouble by not actually bothering to go out and get the piece of paper.

Such relationships bring happiness to millions of couples. I find the rush to dismiss such relationships as "silly" to be foolish and insulting. I'm much happier in a relationship with my wife than I would be as a single bar fly. More power to you, then. Some people want such relationships, others don't. I never called the relationships silly.

[agrismhig]

Originally posted by Lorizael
I would imagine because of the legal and financial benefits? Actually, there is a financial disincentive to marry. Her and I both file nonresident US federal taxes. Under the current rules this means that we cannot file jointly. The rates for married couple filing individually are higher than the rates for nonmarried individuals.

[Metalhead]

We might make it up on the Maryland state income tax.

There's a large income disparity (I'm still a graduate student) and that helps when you file jointly (as I should be able to do for Maryland).

[MegaJIT]

Not to mention that nonresidents can't take standardised deductions.

Why the **** am I paying more taxes to the US federal government than a US citizen making equivalent money would?

God ****ing damnit.

[KLhdfskja]

Originally posted by Arrian
Because you are not a citizen. Duh. You want the benifits, change your citizenship. Join the darkside. a) No.

b) Doesn't make any sense. I get less benefits from US government (ineligible for social programs, can't vote etc). Why do I have to pay more for less services.

[bWxNFI3c]

It's just our way of reminding you that Canada sucks, KH. It's nothing personal. If I ever have to live in Canada for whatever reason (perhaps my family will be held at gunpoint by terrorists who demand a ransom of one thousand beaver-fur caps), I fully expect them to screw me on taxes.

Marriage is outdated if you consider it outdated. I don't, so it's not outdated for me.

[WrinnaArraple]

We've been going out for over 6 years. I've been living in Baltimore for over 3 years now. I'm at Johns Hopkins. My wife is a medical physicist. She currently works at University of Maryland's Baltimore campus (which is where the UMD hospital is). She moved here ~5 months ago.

[propolo]

I completely agree that two people living together can raise children more effectively than a single parent.

I simply don't think that marriage as a legal or cultural institution really helps hold parents together in the same household. If anything the children themselves and the legal and financial difficulties in separating from the other parent are a better glue than the marriage. If we want marriage to serve that purpose then we have to make it far tougher to get a divorce. Unfortunately, that route leads to some rather serious negative consequences too.

[mireOpekrhype]

Originally posted by General Ludd
We still live in a patriarchy. Women do not have any leverage within mainstream culture.

In the niches where patriarchy doesn't exist men are not needed (and using or exploiting them is still "needed") nor are they tolerated if they act with the same machismo and chauvinism that is typical to our society. Please expand.

[movlabz]

Expand on what, exactly? That we live in a patriarchy, or the niches where it doesn't exist?

[WertyNtont]

Given that you are an american and not a radical commie-pinko-feminist, that is unlikely.


When I say we live in a patriarchy, I mean that our society has evolved as a patriarchy society that is formed around "masculine" ideals. It is a society that is structored through power, dominance, superiority, and authority. It is also a society where women are objectified and commodified as sex objects. Where you see giant breasts plastered on billboards to push products and where "guy talk" banter about "hitting her" and **** like that is common place and acceptable.

[FinanseMikky]

It's also a society where men pretend everything is ok because they let a woman or two work with them.

[nerrttrw]

It's also a society where children can be screened for genetic defects so that they won't be born with things like autism.