[adolfadsermens]

Howdy Nick!

This appears to be a strategy taken from:

The Ladder of Divine Ascent
by: St. John Climacus

Step 3 (On exile or pilgramage)
#12:
"It is better to grieve our parents than the Lord. For He has created and saved us, but they have often ruined their loved ones and delivered them up to their doom."

Since I intend to become a monastic myself and my parents have not taken my conversion from Lutheranism to Orthodoxy very well, I will watch this thread with great interest.

I agree with the others, don't judge because you do not know whether this cutting off of communication was Tom's choice or whether it was imposed upon him by his superiors.

Just to clear things up, I am not sure if Tom is a monk or a novice, I don't know what a novice is, But I am assuming it may be a monk in training. Tom has just recently moved into a monastery, he lives there now. But I want to state that it's hard not to take it personally when he accuses me of being someone who will steer him in the wrong direction. I also want to add that everything you do is a result of your free will, And besides, how does he know that his superiors are giving him the correct advice. He trusts these people more than he trusts his own family. We don't really have a problem with him becoming a monk (OK, maybe we do) But we don't see it as correct when we imagine tom shaking his finger at us and saying, "you are not worthy. If I spend time with you then I will become like you, and I don't want that to happen." (not his exact words, but it is in essence what he is saying.) What is wrong with being like us. I am very proud of myself and of my sister and her husband. They gave tom so much love, And this is how he chooses to pay them back. I can understand a child who is the victim of abuse cutting off his family like that, but not one who was loved as much as him.

[Teomaderm]

Dear friends,

I think perhaps it is time to suggest that those who might have futher thoughts useful to share with Nick, please do so via Private Messaging rather than carrying on a public thread about this highly personal matter. The forum doesn't really exist to engage in public discussions about individual pastoral matters; but especially with regard to children taking up the monastic vocation to the displeasure of parents and family, there have been extremely negative side-effects of internet discussions of such situations in recent memory, and I think we all do everyone involved a great favour by not repeating that here in our own community.

Many thanks to those who have contributed thoughtful responses thus far. As I say, those who might wish to dialogue further with Nick are very welcome to send him PMs.

With thanks to all for the sensitivity and understanding,

INXC, Dcn Matthew