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Old 12-13-2011, 08:45 AM   #1
Mypepraipse

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Default Feeling Really Lonely and Depressed
Salaam Elekum

I would have put this in the sisters section, but apparently I don't have enough posts to do that yet....dumb policy, but no offense.

I'm really depressed with the way people are treating Muslims, so sad that I'm considering taking off my hejab when I go and look for work and put my kids in public school. I ate being treated like an out cast and talked to like speak jibberish. Muslims here are not nice to me at all, they are un-supportive, judgemental and think they are supperior. I have no one to lean on and just want to live my life without stares without people talking down to me and without nasty behaviour around my kids. Please don't tell me that I'm ordered by Allah swt to wear the hejab....I do know this, I know about Islam, I did read the quran before I reverted. Don't think I'm about to be sporting mini skirts and low cut tops, I'm talking about the scarf part of the hejab. Just wondering if anyone has ever been in this situation and can give some good advice, no know it alls please, I've been knocked down enough in the past few years.
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Old 12-13-2011, 09:49 AM   #2
2puO4Rhf

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Bismillah Ir-Rehman Ir-Raheem

Walekum-Assalam, my dear, dear, precious sister in Islam:

May Allah bless you, Sister.

Thank you so much, Sister, for placing your trust in us and trusting us with your question.

Sister, in our times, it has become very difficult to follow Islam. There is no doubt about this, Sister. When you reverted (and I do not know your reversion story), did you think it would be easy, Sister? Sister, the easiest things on this earth are very cheap, but Allah has made paradise expensive. He has asked us to believe in Him and trust in Him.

I will not tell you to wear the hijab. However, what I will tell you is that you should not construe the stares or any behavior that discomforts you as stemming from them, Sister, as it is truly shaitaan that is leading others astray in this manner.

Sister, I will not tell you or console you that there aren't negative aspects to wearing hijab in our times, because there are. What I will do Insha-Allah is ask you some questions that might shed light on why you might want to continue to make the decision to wear hijab.

Sister, you said you have kids. I don't know how old they are, but maybe you don't have time to make dawaa to people as a result of household responsibilities. However, your hijaab is dawaa every time you step outside wearing it.

Wear hijab proudly, Sister, because hijab is a sign of beauty, the beauty that is Islam.

I want to tell you that maybe, just maybe there might have been another woman who might have been watching you in a good manner and maybe as a result of your hijab she decided to study Islam. But would you know about her, Sister? No, probably not. What if maybe, just maybe there is a brother who had not ever heard of Islam and saw you wear the headscarf and thought you a strange creature? What if he then went on Google and decided he wanted to revert after learning all this information on Islam? Just because you had the courage to wear hijab. Sister, the truth is you will never find out the existence of these people, until the aakhirah, Sister. Nor will you see this as part of good deeds weighty as a mountain until the aakhirah.

Sister, whether you realize it or not, those ugly stares or other motions are a means for your immense, immense reward, especially when you can take the hijab off easily. Sister, you are beautiful. Do you realize that? That beauty is not subject to some man's whims, but it is an inner beauty. How can I say this when hijab is an outward aspect? Well, Sister, does it not take inner courage, inner conviction, and inner modesty for you to wear hijab? Subhanallah, Sister!

Sister, I love you for the sake of Allah. Would I wish harm upon my own sister? Sister, I am not advising you as anything but a dear friend whom I love despite never having seen or met you because I care about you.

Sister, the shaitaan wants you to weaken your commitment to hijab. Don't let him win, Sister. You are stronger than you think, Sister, and shaitaan is weaker than you may believe. Be sincere towards Allah, Sister, in this matter, and I guarantee, guarantee that Allah will take away what you dislike from the end of other people or compensate you with something better in this life or the next. This is glad tidings, Sister!

Sister, also, if you do not give up, you will see how wonderfully Allah rewards His servants in this life and the hereafter, as this short video shows: The Price of Sincerity in Commitment to Jihad Against Nafs.

A little patience goes a long way, Sister, and it can help us surmount hurdles we never thought we could or ever would; in fact, Sister, adopting patience in the face of difficulties makes us stronger as soulful individuals. Sister, imagine, just imagine: If one of your kids was being bullied in school because he decided he would not support a bully in picking on other children, would you tell him to join the bully because of the bully's intimidation? No, Sister, you wouldn't. Then, my dear Sister, why would you let the world bully you into taking a decision on this matter?

Sister, despite our best intentions towards Allah, towards Islam, towards others, we sometimes forget why we do it all, any part of it. So, Insha-Allah, this is a reminder for you and me as well, not a video but an ayat of the Quran that I personally love:

"Has not the time come for the hearts of those who believe to be affected by Allah's Reminder…?" (Quran 57:16). What will be our answer, Sister? That is the question, Sister.

Sister, on Judgment Day, the people who mocked you for your Islam, whether that was hijab, your modesty, your manners, your style will cry and wish they were you as you will have noor on your face and will be laughing Insha-Allah like a mad and happy creature for the sacrifices you undertook in dunya for the sake of Allah.

Blink, Sister. See, this blink? That is the true value and meaning of the world. One blink. And gone. Over.

I don't know what you should do, Sister. I just know what I want to do.

May Allah make this easy for you, and if you have time after finishing your daily chores, you may wish to watch a video that Brother Melbourne had been kind enough to share with us: To Veil or Not to Veil.



If I have said anything that is good and true, it is from Allah, and anything other than that is my own mistake.
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Old 12-13-2011, 01:29 PM   #3
Adeniinteme

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Salaam Elekum

I would have put this in the sisters section, but apparently I don't have enough posts to do that yet....dumb policy, but no offense.

I'm really depressed with the way people are treating Muslims, so sad that I'm considering taking off my hejab when I go and look for work and put my kids in public school. I ate being treated like an out cast and talked to like speak jibberish. Muslims here are not nice to me at all, they are un-supportive, judgemental and think they are supperior. I have no one to lean on and just want to live my life without stares without people talking down to me and without nasty behaviour around my kids. Please don't tell me that I'm ordered by Allah swt to wear the hejab....I do know this, I know about Islam, I did read the quran before I reverted. Don't think I'm about to be sporting mini skirts and low cut tops, I'm talking about the scarf part of the hejab. Just wondering if anyone has ever been in this situation and can give some good advice, no know it alls please, I've been knocked down enough in the past few years.
Salam alikum,
you seem to be very touched indeed, wuold like to give you some advices, and allah hopefully gives you guidance.
I am alone sister - in my whole town there is no muslim at all - I mean stable inhabitant. Despite that I wear hijab outside and also at my workplace. SOME poeple in my surrounding also tried to treat me way you describe and they always do, but think about it. It is not your fault that they have weak character, that they try to put you in position of second class., that they humiliate others... You have nothing to do with that. Hijab is one of your protection and if you give up of hijab, you very easily fall into society of disbelievers, they will invite you - no doubt, but you might loose their respect - and that will happen most certainly. The worse will be that you might not recognize it.
w alikum assalam
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Old 12-13-2011, 02:16 PM   #4
Misiotoagodia

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Wear hijab that blends you with the population and not gather attention. Find like minded Muslims sisters for socialising.
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:48 PM   #5
Mypepraipse

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SAlaam-"Anybody" thank you that was the best advice I could ask for jazakAllahu karin
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:50 PM   #6
Mypepraipse

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Salam alikum,
you seem to be very touched indeed, wuold like to give you some advices, and allah hopefully gives you guidance.
I am alone sister - in my whole town there is no muslim at all - I mean stable inhabitant. Despite that I wear hijab outside and also at my workplace. SOME poeple in my surrounding also tried to treat me way you describe and they always do, but think about it. It is not your fault that they have weak character, that they try to put you in position of second class., that they humiliate others... You have nothing to do with that. Hijab is one of your protection and if you give up of hijab, you very easily fall into society of disbelievers, they will invite you - no doubt, but you might loose their respect - and that will happen most certainly. The worse will be that you might not recognize it.
w alikum assalam
Thank you sister
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:52 PM   #7
Mypepraipse

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Excuse me! Are you serious, I know your type and this is the exact thing that I asked not to have in my post. There is an adb to giving advice, which you surely don't have. What an insensitive person you come across as, shame on you!
Shame on you for thinking I don't pray, you obviously know very little about Islam, since Muslims are NOT allowed to accuse each other without proof! I hve kids and don't have the time to argue on the internet or defend Islam as you say


We know what is happening. Get over it. Start Praying and Supplication to Allah(SWT). Spend some time in defending Islam on various fora on internet. Just because it is difficult to practice Islam is not an argument against it. May Allah(SWT) make it easy for all the believers.

PS: I realize that it might come across as snapping but that is not my intention. It is meant as a concerned but definitive suggestion (mashwirah).
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Old 12-13-2011, 10:54 PM   #8
Mypepraipse

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Wear hijab that blends you with the population and not gather attention. Find like minded Muslims sisters for socialising.
I've tried socializing with other Muslims, didn't work. BTW there is not a sea of Muslims where I live, it's a raindrop. If I were to be around Muslims here it would just be fitnah cause all I hear is gossip, best to stay away from that
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Old 12-13-2011, 11:11 PM   #9
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Please recite blessings upon Rasoolullah as often as you can, it will help

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Old 12-14-2011, 12:12 AM   #10
soprofaxelbis

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hello! uhm I think you should move to another place to live where there's a large population of Muslims so you won't feel much discrimination. I know it ain't that easy because you have your occupation there and you already have kids. But I think it's good to start early while your kids are still young. People like you should not live with discriminating neighbors and pressuring colleagues. You should live and work in a place where you can find happiness with who you are. Here in my place I don't experience the same thing as you do. I study at a Catholic School (specifically a Notre Dame school) but we have Islamic studies here. the Christians respect us Muslims and we do the same to them. So I'm quite sad about your situation., and this is what I can only say. I hope you will soon live peacefully and happy! ) and yeah, keep the faith in ALLAH!
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Old 12-14-2011, 12:19 AM   #11
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Ms. Anybody, I adore how you care towards our sister. I wish netizens are like this all the time. :*
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Old 12-14-2011, 10:51 AM   #12
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Excuse me! Are you serious, I know your type and this is the exact thing that I asked not to have in my post. There is an adb to giving advice, which you surely don't have. What an insensitive person you come across as, shame on you!
Shame on you for thinking I don't pray, you obviously know very little about Islam, since Muslims are NOT allowed to accuse each other without proof! I hve kids and don't have the time to argue on the internet or defend Islam as you say
I have deleted my reply to you sister. Will you be so kind to delete reference to my erstwhile post?
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Old 12-14-2011, 12:47 PM   #13
Adeniinteme

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Excuse me! Are you serious, I know your type and this is the exact thing that I asked not to have in my post. There is an adb to giving advice, which you surely don't have. What an insensitive person you come across as, shame on you!
Shame on you for thinking I don't pray, you obviously know very little about Islam, since Muslims are NOT allowed to accuse each other without proof! I hve kids and don't have the time to argue on the internet or defend Islam as you say
Sister, may be if you skip first sentence, the advice of brother is very worthfull. You as a muslim could overlook his `mistake` too

do you read hadith? they are great source of wisdom, in your lonelyness they could bring you lot of comfort and good ideas

w salam
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Old 12-14-2011, 01:05 PM   #14
VottCetaVeivE

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Excuse me! Are you serious, I know your type and this is the exact thing that I asked not to have in my post. There is an adb to giving advice, which you surely don't have. What an insensitive person you come across as, shame on you!
Shame on you for thinking I don't pray, you obviously know very little about Islam, since Muslims are NOT allowed to accuse each other without proof! I hve kids and don't have the time to argue on the internet or defend Islam as you say


Sister the brother didn't intend to insult you, he just made the statement a bit strong, because sometimes it motivates people. I think you might have misunderstood the tone. Hope you understand. And May Allah ease your troubles. Ameen.
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