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That's a funny essay, especially on a dreary Friday morning.
"Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter." I didn't know that so many nomads were gay, since everybody knows that gays "usually congregate towards the shore, and tips of peninsulas are especially attractive to them." Geez, if the liberals were living "off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing", then what explains Newt Gingrich's hair helmet? Then again, Newt may not be conservative enough anymore. So if conservatives drink domestic beer, and liberals wine, it's reassuring to know that George Washington, Ben Franklin and Ernest Hemingway must have been liberals. "My manner of living is plain, a glass of wine and a bit of mutton are always ready, and such as will be content to partake of that are always welcome." George Washington "Wine makes daily living easier, less hurried, with fewer tensions and more tolerance." Benjamin Franklin "Wine is the most civilized thing in the world." Ernest Hemingway I'm surprised that the silverplated wine cooler is a big seller at the Ronald Reagan Library. Then again, maybe Ron was a bit of a metrosexual; he liked his beef stew made with red wine. Not to mention Nancy's onion wine soup. So confusing. |
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