[geraint.faughn]

Boy Mauled to Death by Zoo Lions Dream of Being on Television Comes True

In a heartwarming epilogue to the highly publicized tale of Texas youngster Brent Lindenmueller’s gruesome mauling death at the Aaron Burr Memorial Zoo in El Paso Thursday, it has been learned that the ten-year-old boy’s lifelong dream was to be on television.

Lindenmueller, who was brutally dismembered, eviscerated, eventually decapitated and partially eaten by the inhabitants of a lion exhibit he fell into while on a summer camp field trip, had long fascinated about appearing on TV in some capacity and would have been overjoyed over the heavy nationwide media coverage his terrifying, bloody death has garnered in recent days, his mother revealed during an appearance on the Regis and Kelly show this morning.

“Though my heart was broken by the loss of Brent, its shattered pieces are aglow over all the wonderful hoopla his story has received because I know he’s up there somewhere looking down at his picture on all those millions of screens, and I know he’s very happy,” spoke a tearful Trudy Lindenmueller.

Indeed, although edited to remove the later scenes of rending and feeding, the home video images of Lindenmueller falling over the railing and being stalked, chased and toyed with by the massive lions has been featured prominently on hundreds of news programs across the country, giving some degree of comfort to those close to him who were acquainted with his dreams of achieving television celebrity.

Commented Lindenmueller’s father Terry, “Brent was always seeking attention. I could rarely get through a sixty hour work week without getting a call about him pulling some stunt like putting lit fireworks in the washing machine or taking his pants down in a Little League game. It almost makes me wonder if he didn’t fall over that dang railing on purpose.”

Reportedly, Lindenmueller’s posthumous stardom might expand to the movie medium as it has been rumored that the producers of the ‘Faces of Death’ series of documentaries have expressed interest in purchasing the uncut footage of his grisly demise for inclusion in their next installment.

2005 newsmutiny.com

[maniaringsq]

Revolting.

* * *


They filmed him but didn't try to save him?

[23InetrySypekek]

Ahhh, motherly love ........

“Though my heart was broken by the loss of Brent, its shattered pieces are aglow over all the wonderful hoopla his story has received because I know he’s up there somewhere looking down at his picture on all those millions of screens, and I know he’s very happy,” spoke a tearful Trudy Lindenmueller.

[herrdwq]

It's a hoax. But definitely a funny one.

In any case, the zoo in El Paso is called the El Paso Zoo.

[rozettasmolanov]

In any case, the zoo in El Paso is called the El Paso Zoo.

Which is such an easy thing to fact-check. Basically a quick way to prove you're right to point finger and laugh at real newsmedia that runs with the story.

Also, the "newsmutiny.com" tag might be a wee bit suspicious.