[CHEAPCIALISFORYOU]

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/07...wife-to-japan/

When veteran Michael Elias was serving in Iraq in 2008, he longed for the day when he could return home to his wife and two children in New Jersey.

When that day finally came, he was not ready for the nightmare he has endured for the past three years.

His marriage soon fell apart and his wife, Mayumi Nakamura, did the unthinkable when she violated a Bergen County court order and fled in December 2008 with the couple's 2-year-old son, Michael, and 4-year-old daughter, Jade, back to her native Japan. In Japan, a lack of child-custody laws means Elias, a former sergeant of the United States Marine Corps, has basically lost all rights to see his children or have them return stateside.

The former soldier has been fighting to get back his children ever since, reaching out to local congressmen and testifying on Capitol Hill to no avail.

Whenever I hear stories like this it really irritates me. I know that one of the girls who was my roommate in Iraq her then-husband took all the money out of their account, left their daughter with family or someone and took off to Mexico. Granted at least he didn't take the kid with him but people like that are dirtbags.

I really hate it when people who claim to be parents abuse their kids like this. Abducting your children and sneaking away out of the country or to another state or anywhere and taking them from the other parent is child abuse. The only reason that someone has to take off with their children is if there is abuse from one of the parents or any abuse going on in the home. Otherwise what this woman did was just wrong.

[Quigoxito]

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2011/10/07...wife-to-japan/

When veteran Michael Elias was serving in Iraq in 2008, he longed for the day when he could return home to his wife and two children in New Jersey.

When that day finally came, he was not ready for the nightmare he has endured for the past three years.

His marriage soon fell apart and his wife, Mayumi Nakamura, did the unthinkable when she violated a Bergen County court order and fled in December 2008 with the couple's 2-year-old son, Michael, and 4-year-old daughter, Jade, back to her native Japan. In Japan, a lack of child-custody laws means Elias, a former sergeant of the United States Marine Corps, has basically lost all rights to see his children or have them return stateside.

The former soldier has been fighting to get back his children ever since, reaching out to local congressmen and testifying on Capitol Hill to no avail.

Whenever I hear stories like this it really irritates me. I know that one of the girls who was my roommate in Iraq her then-husband took all the money out of their account, left their daughter with family or someone and took off to Mexico. Granted at least he didn't take the kid with him but people like that are dirtbags.

IMO, this is not quite the same. I mean she's Japanese, her marriage to an American didn't work out...seems natural to want to go back home.

I mean, if you say, fell in love with a Kuwaiti man and moved there for him...then the marriage didn't work out...wouldn't you wanna leave and come back home?

Okay, I get that the "right" thing maybe isn't to violate a court order and split before working it out...but I understand the sentiment and don't think she's a dirtbag.

I really hate it when people who claim to be parents abuse their kids like this. Abducting your children and sneaking away out of the country or to another state or anywhere and taking them from the other parent is child abuse. The only reason that someone has to take off with their children is if there is abuse from one of the parents or any abuse going on in the home. Otherwise what this woman did was just wrong. Again, I don't see this as child abuse, either. Maybe if she snuck in the middle of the night and abducted the kid...but as I understand this article, I mean she is living in a foreign place cuz of a man she's no longer married to, she has the kids...maybe he's deployed at the time, not sure.

So, she wants to go home...again, maybe the more correct thing is to stick around, fight it out in court as to who gets custody of the kids, then leave with them...

[pooncophy]

IMO, this is not quite the same. I mean she's Japanese, her marriage to an American didn't work out...seems natural to want to go back home.

I mean, if you say, fell in love with a Kuwaiti man and moved there for him...then the marriage didn't work out...wouldn't you wanna leave and come back home?

Okay, I get that the "right" thing maybe isn't to violate a court order and split before working it out...but I understand the sentiment and don't think she's a dirtbag.



Again, I don't see this as child abuse, either. Maybe if she snuck in the middle of the night and abducted the kid...but as I understand this article, I mean she is living in a foreign place cuz of a man she's no longer married to, she has the kids...maybe he's deployed at the time, not sure.

So, she wants to go home...again, maybe the more correct thing is to stick around, fight it out in court as to who gets custody of the kids, then leave with them...

I would not want him to steal my children especially when a judge ordered his passport to be turned in. In the article it said a judge ordered her to surrender her passport, then she had FAKE passports made to sneak out of the country. If it was me, if my husband wasn't happy in the States, fine you go home but don't steal my children especially when it was court ordered to stay.

It is in a way child abuse because emotionally you are affecting the kids. What are they to think? Especially when mom is telling them who knows what about the dad and she has a boyfriend with her. But it does sound like in the article she snuck out with the kids because she was ordered by the court to surrender her passport. SOme people get shady like that. It's like what my mom did - she just up and left and took my little brother. Left my dad with a note but she ripped my brother from his life, from his siblings, his friends and the dad he knew. Then find out my dad wasn't his biological dad and craziness. But she just took off. As the parent, yeah she could do that but then she later violated the court order on visitation (which is another story). But to just tear a child away from its parent, I call that child abuse.

If she just wanted to go home, she shouldn't have snuck out. He had returned home and shortly after that she took the kids. Thats' what I got from the article. And now he's spent 3 years trying to see them. He hasn't been allowed to SEE his kids in 3 years. That's pretty fucked up I say.

[Quick$bux]

The reason she's considered a dirtbag is because it is known that Japan is used for exactly this workaround. They refuse to accept any other country's child custody laws or rulings.

[Nzmoafzn]

I would not want him to steal my children especially when a judge ordered his passport to be turned in. In the article it said a judge ordered her to surrender her passport, then she had FAKE passports made to sneak out of the country. If it was me, if my husband wasn't happy in the States, fine you go home but don't steal my children especially when it was court ordered to stay.

Yeah, I get the whole court order thing....but, let's just "say" you believe in your heart that the best thing for your children is that you leave Kuwait, with them, and return to the United States.

However, the Kuwait court issues and order that you can not leave...or better yet, make is Saudi Arabia and your child is a girl. The marriage to the Saudi prince didn't work out...and now you wanna go back to the US with your child...I don't see that as a dirtbaggish move...doing what you feel is in the best interests of your children and yourself.

It is in a way child abuse because emotionally you are affecting the kids. What are they to think? Especially when mom is telling them who knows what about the dad and she has a boyfriend with her. But it does sound like in the article she snuck out with the kids because she was ordered by the court to surrender her passport. SOme people get shady like that. It's like what my mom did - she just up and left and took my little brother. Left my dad with a note but she ripped my brother from his life, from his siblings, his friends and the dad he knew. Then find out my dad wasn't his biological dad and craziness. But she just took off. As the parent, yeah she could do that but then she later violated the court order on visitation (which is another story). But to just tear a child away from its parent, I call that child abuse. Well, then every divorce and every child custody hearing is child abuse.

If she just wanted to go home, she shouldn't have snuck out. He had returned home and shortly after that she took the kids. Thats' what I got from the article. And now he's spent 3 years trying to see them. He hasn't been allowed to SEE his kids in 3 years. That's pretty fucked up I say. I agree that it sucks...but doesn't amount to child abuse.

[Phassetus]

Yeah, I get the whole court order thing....but, let's just "say" you believe in your heart that the best thing for your children is that you leave Kuwait, with them, and return to the United States.

However, the Kuwait court issues and order that you can not leave...or better yet, make is Saudi Arabia and your child is a girl. The marriage to the Saudi prince didn't work out...and now you wanna go back to the US with your child...I don't see that as a dirtbaggish move...doing what you feel is in the best interests of your children and yourself.



Well, then every divorce and every child custody hearing is child abuse.



I agree that it sucks...but doesn't amount to child abuse.

Emotional abuse is still abuse. In fact it's actually worse than physical abuse. And yeah I would say every custody hearing probably could be considered abuse on the child if the parents are putting them in the middle of it or pulling stunts.

First of all, I really don't see myself ever being in that situation. First off I wouldn't marry someone unless I knew I wanted to be with them. Second if I was in another country and I was ordered by that court not to leave the country, I would not leave the country until I had it sorted out by my country's and his legal precedence. If then I had to leave without my children, then fine but I would never steal them and then not allow the father to see them - unless there was abuse going on.

What I find a "dirtbag" move is that she defied the court order, she snuck off without telling him AND she's not finding a way for him to see his children for the last three years.

[boXGWf04]

I really hate it when people who claim to be parents abuse their kids like this. Abducting your children and sneaking away out of the country or to another state or anywhere and taking them from the other parent is child abuse. The only reason that someone has to take off with their children is if there is abuse from one of the parents or any abuse going on in the home. Otherwise what this woman did was just wrong.

To me it should be called what it is.. KIDNAPING!.. And all these countries who have supposedly signed up to that Hauge convention on child abuse that do NOT assist in getting the kids returned need to be fined BIG TIME. All foreign aid suspended, and NO future aid sent.
As for that Jap lass, i say get rid of her citizenship (if she had it) and barr her and ANY family member coming to the US, until she hands them back over.

IMO, this is not quite the same. I mean she's Japanese, her marriage to an American didn't work out...seems natural to want to go back home.

I mean, if you say, fell in love with a Kuwaiti man and moved there for him...then the marriage didn't work out...wouldn't you wanna leave and come back home?

Okay, I get that the "right" thing maybe isn't to violate a court order and split before working it out...but I understand the sentiment and don't think she's a dirtbag.

Maybe, maybe not, but that she DID it against a court order (taking the kids) as well as by the news report violated consulate rules/regulations to do so, to me puts her in the absolute dirtbag category.

Again, I don't see this as child abuse, either. Maybe if she snuck in the middle of the night and abducted the kid...but as I understand this article, I mean she is living in a foreign place cuz of a man she's no longer married to, she has the kids...maybe he's deployed at the time, not sure.

How is violating a court order to take the kids NOT making it child abuse?

The reason she's considered a dirtbag is because it is known that Japan is used for exactly this workaround. They refuse to accept any other country's child custody laws or rulings.

Then we should flip it right back on them. If they ever come here trying to push their custody laws on us, tell them to sod off.

[Wrasialat]

To me it should be called what it is.. KIDNAPING!.. And all these countries who have supposedly signed up to that Hauge convention on child abuse that do NOT assist in getting the kids returned need to be fined BIG TIME. All foreign aid suspended, and NO future aid sent.
As for that Jap lass, i say get rid of her citizenship (if she had it) and barr her and ANY family member coming to the US, until she hands them back over.

Japan is not party to the Hague Convention. Therein lies the origin of the problem.

[MFSSCW2c]

Emotional abuse is still abuse. In fact it's actually worse than physical abuse. And yeah I would say every custody hearing probably could be considered abuse on the child if the parents are putting them in the middle of it or pulling stunts.

First of all, I really don't see myself ever being in that situation. First off I wouldn't marry someone unless I knew I wanted to be with them. Second if I was in another country and I was ordered by that court not to leave the country, I would not leave the country until I had it sorted out by my country's and his legal precedence. If then I had to leave without my children, then fine but I would never steal them and then not allow the father to see them - unless there was abuse going on.

What I find a "dirtbag" move is that she defied the court order, she snuck off without telling him AND she's not finding a way for him to see his children for the last three years.

I hope you can clearly see how broadening the definition of "child abuse" too greatly is a dangerous path to follow. By this logic, in every scenario where a parent "emotionally abuses" their child, the government will have to step in and take custody of those children, since both parents become contributors to this "abuse" regardless of the circumstances involved. Now by this logic, when I told my 3 year old son he couldn't have something, it made him sad, therefore he's "emotionally abused" thus making me an unfit parent. While that's hardly comparable to what children experience in a divorce situation, what they do experience is often actually tragically necessary because in most cases the alternative is often a situation when parents try to salvage an unworkable situation and the children experience far worse by being caught in the middle of it. Nobody, or at least remarkably few compared to the overall rate of divorce, go into marriage expecting it to fail, that much should be obvious. I like MM understand what factors might motivate a mother to take the actions she did, if those were the motives behind it I can understand why she would do something of that nature at least. I don't for a minute pretend that all of her motives were altruistic, the same are probably true with the husband. Divorces are messy business on virtually every occasion, and rarely ever black and white.

[addyta.org]

Let's put this in the right perspective.
Like most Asians, Japanese are probably among the most racist people in the world. If one isn't Japanese, they are considered to be lower than dirt.
The only way GIs socialize with Japanese girls is in the multitude of off-post bars. Then, these semi-whores leap to marry a GI so they can go to the USA - promised land. I wonder of how many of those, once they've gained citizenship, suddenly find the marriage isn't working out.
In any case, she probably found this poor GI wasn't going to make her rich and decided to run back to her family.
What I wonder is, how are the snobs treating the half-blood kids?
In any case, the Japanese don't give a damn about anyone but themselves!!!!!

[tsamprasxx]

Let's put this in the right perspective.
Like most Asians, Japanese are probably among the most racist people in the world. If one isn't Japanese, they are considered to be lower than dirt.
The only way GIs socialize with Japanese girls is in the multitude of off-post bars. Then, these semi-whores leap to marry a GI so they can go to the USA - promised land. I wonder of how many of those, once they've gained citizenship, suddenly find the marriage isn't working out.
In any case, she probably found this poor GI wasn't going to make her rich and decided to run back to her family.
What I wonder is, how are the snobs treating the half-blood kids?
In any case, the Japanese don't give a damn about anyone but themselves!!!!!

Cultural averages, not to mention experience with individuals in Japan might leave this impression. This is an argument between two individuals, one where we don't know almost any of the particulars. Blanket statements are problematic, one might refer to this as "racist", I don't think that's quite true, since it's mostly generalizations based on some margin of fact. I won't go into the psychological factors that make the Japanese nationals legitimately suspicious of foreign nationals because that would derail this thread entirely, but I will state that it has one and those who are interested in learning more should delve into a book known as "Blowback" written by Chalmers Johnson because it does offer an in-depth perspective. Simply put though, what you state here are for the most part unwarranted assumptions being made based on other individuals which may not apply here. This individual woman saw fit to marry a non-Japanese citizen for reasons unspecified and anything else we state into it is complete hearsay.

[wmhardware]

I'm curious... I read in a post that (I think it was by CandyCane) that she had FAKE passports... How would you get those that quick? I wanted to take my son to Niagra Falls for a vacation a few summers ago & I couldn't go without his dad knowing. He had to sign a waiver saying that it was ok. Which I didn't mind, but I'm just curious as to how the children got "passports" without the father's signature. I'm sure there are ways, but one would think that it would have to be planned out in advance to be able to do it. Just a thought...

[ticskebasse]

I'm curious... I read in a post that (I think it was by CandyCane) that she had FAKE passports... How would you get those that quick? I wanted to take my son to Niagra Falls for a vacation a few summers ago & I couldn't go without his dad knowing. He had to sign a waiver saying that it was ok. Which I didn't mind, but I'm just curious as to how the children got "passports" without the father's signature. I'm sure there are ways, but one would think that it would have to be planned out in advance to be able to do it. Just a thought...

Good question, and thought in general, hard to really tell in this instance, since I'm not even certain about the whole fake passport thing to begin with.

[AutoCadPhotoSHOP]

Good question, and thought in general, hard to really tell in this instance, since I'm not even about the whole fake passport thing to begin with.

Thank you...

I know that there are ways around it (the movie Not w/o My Daughter), but it was a planned out escape. So I was curious as to what others thought about it.

[Yinekol]

I'm curious... I read in a post that (I think it was by CandyCane) that she had FAKE passports... How would you get those that quick? I wanted to take my son to Niagra Falls for a vacation a few summers ago & I couldn't go without his dad knowing. He had to sign a waiver saying that it was ok. Which I didn't mind, but I'm just curious as to how the children got "passports" without the father's signature. I'm sure there are ways, but one would think that it would have to be planned out in advance to be able to do it. Just a thought...

Okay this is what it said about passports:

The judge ordered that she surrender her passport and stay within state lines. He also awarded shared custody between the couple.

Nakamura worked at the Japanese Consulate in New York City issuing visas and passports, but was fired after she reportedly was caught trying to forge new passports for the children and herself.

So she was caught trying to make fake passports. I'm not sure how she got out of the country unless she got someone else to make the passports but she was trying to run away without the father knowing. So it seems she was planning it out in advance. She obviously was from this part of the story:

Elias’ relationship with Nakamura began to dissolve almost immediately upon his return from Iraq in September 2008. They eventually split up, and he allowed his wife to stay in the apartment they shared in his mother’s home in Rutherford, N.J., for the sake of the children.

Elias had tried to avoid heading to court over custody issues until Nakamura had a legal document drafted stating that she and her two children could, “visit Japan without any restrictions under any circumstances,” and if he didn’t comply he would have to, "surrender any custody rights of Jade and Michael, to Mayumi.” Nakamura also wanted Elias to agree to the terms that she could relocate to Japan with the children at any time.

“She created this travel residency document saying that if I don’t agree or allow her to do as she pleases, that she could take the kids and leave,” he said.

“Right away, that was a red flag for me. I hired a lawyer, and we went to court.”

So she was up to something right away. People do try to or do fake passports but I think that's why at the airport they shine the light over it to determine it's real or not. But she was trying to fake them with her connection at the embassy.

[yurawerj]

Thank you for helping me out with that.

As I was reading the previous posts, I just got to thinking about what I had to do to be able to cross the border into Canada. So to go to Japan, I assumed that it had to take some planning to be able to get there.
I do hope that he's able to get his children back (at least see them). I know that I would be a total wreck if that happened to me.

[Alexeric]

That fact alone (to me) should have gotten the court's to veto any custody rights for her, since she was already caught trying to fake paperwork on them and take them.

As to what happens now.. Hit the japanese embassy up. Tell them no more aid to their country till they bring her to justice.

[c6vkuNRg]

That fact alone (to me) should have gotten the court's to veto any custody rights for her, since she was already caught trying to fake paperwork on them and take them.

As to what happens now.. Hit the japanese embassy up. Tell them no more aid to their country till they bring her to justice.

That's what I don't get either. But according to the article, he's spent 3 years trying to get the Japanese government to do something. I mean at least let the guy see his kids.

[vekiuytyh]

Thank you for helping me out with that.

As I was reading the previous posts, I just got to thinking about what I had to do to be able to cross the border into Canada. So to go to Japan, I assumed that it had to take some planning to be able to get there.
I do hope that he's able to get his children back (at least see them). I know that I would be a total wreck if that happened to me.

I hope he gets to at least SEE them. He hasn't seen or talked to them in 3 years. The least she could do is send him pictures. But some people are cruel and heartless. I hate, hate, when someone who is called a "parent" will use their kids in a divorce or to force a relationship to happen and keep someone in a relationship. Kids aren't bargaining tools. They're human beings. Sorry it just gets me how people who shouldn't have kids do and people who should have kids can't sometimes.

[outdog]

I'm the same way Candy (hope you don't mind). I was reading an article the other day that some woman sold her baby for $15,000 to go to frickin' Disney. I mean... C'mon!